Flavor of Love/Charm School/I Love Money contestant Pumkin (real name: Brooke Thompson) officially announced her engagement to security guard Evan Doty, proving even washed up reality show losers can find love. The couple will be married next April, if they can make it that long.
After the jump: Our favorite moment from Pumkin, from the season of Flavor of Love that started VH1's horrible obsession with these deadbeats.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I feel like my uterus had a workout." — Brooke, Brooke Knows Best
Flavor Flav is a lot of things, chief among them being hopeless romantic. The reality show veteran finally found "love" with the mother of his youngest child, Karma, and we're sure this is the real thing this time — after hearing him describe their first encounter, how could it not be true love?
When I first seen her, you know, the beauty. You know what I'm saying? I'm in Vegas, coming from New York, everything. And the way that she looked, you know what I'm saying. I looked up at her eyes. She had the prettiest eyes, man. And I'm a guy that always wanted to one day have a nice, fine woman to settle down with and have a family with, so I looked in her eyes — and her eyes was green at the time.
I can only hope that one day a man will say those words to me.
[Source]
Flavor Flav, telling us yet another sex-related factoid we didn't want to know today:
I lost my virginity in the bushes on a box. … I’m a tell you the truth; I lost my virginity when I was 6 years old. Yea, man. Because you know we learned to have done the nasty back in the days, and me and this girl we experiment, we were experimenting, and my little joint got hard, I penetrated for about a few seconds.
[Source]
Reality Bytes is on hiatus this week while I'm at home in Texas for my best friend's wedding, because my family does not own a DVR. (I know, I know. I've been suffering immensely.) Anyway, to satisfy your appetite for reality television, I've compiled the five dumbest competitive reality show gimmicks. Like the Bachelor's roses, except most people actually enjoy getting roses in real life — these trinkets are way less flattering and often cringe-worthy.
There are two sides to all celebrities: The squeaky-clean images forced upon the public by PR reps and their actual personalities. To provide you with a glimpse into the real Hollywood characters are Mollygood’s very own readers, telling tales of celebrity encounters big and small. Up this week: Reader Shanna's meeting with Flavor Flav. CONTINUED »
Apparently it's Joel McHale Day here at Mollygood, and we're OK with that because he trumps the Hogans/Spears/Lohans any day. Joel, who says he sometimes feels like he's "doing the Lord's work," gave an awesome interview with The A.V. Club where he provided many, many gems, chief among them this: "On Flavor Of Love, when a woman took a dump on the stairs, I mean, that's like J.R. being shot on Dallas, or like maybe the last episode of M*A*S*H. It's a milestone on television that's covered with chlamydia."
Seriously, he's our favorite celebrity ever. Click through for lots more. CONTINUED »
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I'm like a coat in a closet, just hangin' in there." — Flavor Flav, Flavor of Love 3
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "The sun is never gonna go down on you, because you bring out so much sunshine, and everyone throughout the whole world through your singing." — Paula Abdul, American Idol
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Don't be a vulture, learn your culture." — Flavor Flav, Flavor of Love 3
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "This is a transvestite. I'm sorry. But you're a beautiful tranny." — Paulina Porizkova, America's Next Top Model
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "If there's somebody there to help you through each thing, then who are you? Are you you? Or are you us? And then if you're us, then who the hell are we?" — Nicky2States, Miss Rap Supreme
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "You're going to see some never-before-seen footage that you've never seen before." — Bret Michaels, Rock of Love 2
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I look at this picture and I think H2-Oh no you didn't girrrrrl. It's fierce." — Tyra, America's Next Top Model
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "That's it, I'm done — D-U-N — with these people in here. And they're gonna see a whole new side of me that they haven't seen before." — Natalie, Big Brother
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I only arm-wrestle women. Pregnant women, usually." — Matt, The Bachelor
Flavor Flav stopped by Conan O'Brien's show last night to explain how he romances the ladies (it includes the word "earhole"). And it must be working, because he's in his third season of Flavor of Love. Oh wait…
Our favorite part is watching Gob Will Arnett try to make sense of it all.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "We thought it was time to take a tour of the hospital where our daughter's life would begin and mine would end." — Scott Baio, Scott Baio is 46 … and Pregnant
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