Jay Newman, the pastor of St Mary Catholic Church in Greenville, SC, is asking parishioners who voted for Barack Obama to not present themselves for Communion until they've gone to confession and asked for forgiveness for cooperating with "intrinsic evil," "lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."
After the jump, this rotten, corrupted bastard Newman's letter of explanation:
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Seen this yet?
The treatment President Bush has received from this country is nothing less than a disgrace. The attacks launched against him have been cruel and slanderous, proving to the world what little character and resolve we have. The president is not to blame for all these problems. He never lost faith in America or her people, and has tried his hardest to continue leading our nation during a very difficult time.
Our failure to stand by the one person who continued to stand by us has not gone unnoticed by our enemies. It has shown to the world how disloyal we can be when our president needed loyalty — a shameful display of arrogance and weakness that will haunt this nation long after Mr. Bush has left the White House.
After the jump, the Mollygood response.
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MUTILATION VICTIM CHANGES HER STORY Whoops: "Pittsburgh police say a McCain campaign volunteer who said she was held down by a black man who cut the letter 'B' in her face has changed her story. … The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn't show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn't remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later." (emphasis ours)
Cheryl Burke and Lacey Schwimmer, two of the female professional dancers on Dancing With the Stars, are being called fat by not only people in the media but also their male professional counterparts. Oh, come on. Are you kidding? These girls are NOT FAT.
Here's what dancer and professional ass Louis van Amstel has to say for himself:
If you want to gain weight, it's your prerogative. … But you have to deal with the consequences. [People] look at this show to be inspired and think, 'If I just work hard enough, I can look like that.' If they watch someone who's dancing her butt off and she's still heavy, they can be discouraged. You have to take responsibility.
And our dear, sweet, gorgeous Maksim Chmerkovskiy is also adding fuel to the fat fire:
When I first saw these women this season, I said, 'Guys, you know the camera adds 10 pounds. You have to do something about this.'
This is the most absurd, infuriating argument we've heard outside of the McCain/Palin campaign, but maybe we're just crazy. There's nothing fat about these girls, right? Right? Most women would kill to look like either Cheryl or Lacey and they've likely still inspired many viewers who really are overweight to get active and start dancing. To suggest otherwise is irresponsible and appalling.
[Source]
OK, we know that by now everyone's as tired of Sarah Palin as the wolves the Alaskan governor uses airplanes to chase to the furthest reaches of her snowy state. But this Daily Show clip – an infuriating tally sheet of conservative mendacity – is simply too good not to post.
And before anyone starts to complain about how we've grown into single-minded meanies, note that this clip knocks the media much more than it does Sarah Palin.
Now that we're tanking like Rome and everyone's been fired and air travel is a luxury few can afford, the airlines are doing exactly what you'd expect in these uncomfortable economic times: taking more of the consumer's money and offering him shittier service in return.
Not only have some carriers started charging for extra legroom and checked baggage, today, US Airways has stopped offering free water to its passengers.
US Airways says it will provide water and drinks for passengers in cases of medical emergency and during extensive delays. If a desperately thirsty passenger does forget a few extra dollars, US Airways spokesman Morgan Durrant says flight attendants will likely “err on the side of the customer” and give him or her water. After all, the airline wouldn’t want its customers drinking tap water from the aircraft bathroom. That water is safe to drink, just not very palatable, according to Durrant.
“Frankly, that’s just not classy,” he says.
A bottle of water now costs $2 on a US Airways flight.
Do you ever have to stop reading an article just halfway into it for fear that you're going to begin weeping all over the keyboard (or the newsprint for you nanas and pop-pops)? It happens to us at least once a day, but this one we clicked away from in record time:
Dr. Donald Richey, a dermatologist in Chico, Calif., has two office telephone numbers: calls to the number for patients seeking an appointment for skin conditions like acne and psoriasis often go straight to voice mail, but a full-time staff member fields calls on the dedicated line for cosmetic patients seeking beauty treatments like Botox.
Dr. Richey has two waiting rooms. The medical patients’ waiting room is comfortable, but the lounge for cosmetic clients is luxurious, with soft music and flowers.
And he has two kinds of treatment rooms: clinical-looking for skin disease patients, soothing for cosmetic laser patients.
“Cosmetic patients have a much more private environment than general medical patients because they expect that,” said Dr. Richey, who estimated that he spent about 40 percent of his time treating cosmetic patients. “We are a little bit more sensitive to their needs.”
Like airlines that offer first-class and coach sections, dermatology is fast becoming a two-tier business in which higher-paying customers often receive greater pampering.
That's right: A growing trend in dermatology is to subjugate people with SKIN CANCER in favor of Botox recipients! And the doctors doing this apparently aren't at all ashamed of what disgusting voids they are!
Good morning and welcome back to your world.
AMERICAN PRICK SELLS GAUDY MONSTROSITY TO RUSSIAN PRICK "Real estate mogul Donald Trump closed the sale of a Palm Beach mansion to a Russian billionaire Tuesday for the blockbuster price of $95 million. 'I love breaking records,' Trump said Wednesday, 'and this is a record.' It's believed to be the most expensive single-family home ever sold in the United States."
Film and oil executives want to thank you for taking it on the chin, common man. In these difficult financial times, were it not for your gas money and inability to afford more luxurious forms of entertainment, they might actually have to, y'know, not be so fucking rich.
Not only are box office profits increasing due to mommies and daddies nationwide being forced to find something for their kids to do now that road-tripping to Disneyland isn't an option, bloated captains of the oil industry are also making a killing by investing their massive profits in films, thereby making them untouchable to hefty windfall taxes; taxes that would just go to stupid social welfare programs.
Rest easy, people: The super-wealthy are going to be just fine. Now you go watch Iron Man and forget all about those tuition payments you've got come August.
Well, it's only 2008 and the admen already think (know?) we're this lazy and programmed to conform, so how long until they completely abandon their games and just start saying, "Give us your money because other people have"?
John Cusack is an actor, which, according to Bill O'Reilly, does not make him qualified to speak publicly about political issues.
Bill O'Reilly is a homophobic and racist blowhard, which does not make him qualified to speak publicly.
Not because I'm surprised, but just because we should all stay abreast of these things:
While discussing ninth-grade students at a school in New Jersey who were suspended for distributing topless photographs of their classmates, Bill O'Reilly stated, "But it's an amazing amount of kids involved with this — 20 — in an affluent school district. This isn't, you know, the inner city; you would think that these kids would have some kind of a values system."
Brody Jenner, all-American toy, has inked a deal with MTV to star in Bromance, a reality series that will follow The Hills monkey as he, and we fucking quote, "auditions a group of dudes to fill his 'bro' vacancy."
Each week, losing contestants will be booted from Bromance's bachelor pad in a "hot tub elimination ceremony," until the ultimate broham has been chosen to fill the spot of Jenner's ex-best broseph, Spencer Pratt.
Of course, twee ponce Ryan Seacrest is producing the massive mistake and laughing all the way to the munchkin bank where he gets his twinkle bucks. Sayeth the American Idol dildo, who doesn't at all enjoy the press speculation about his sexuality: "I can speak from experience — girls can come and go, but a 'bromance' can last forever." Let's hope not.
Simply “perplexed” that he would be dishonored with an award for defaming gay folk, Bill O’Reilly recently hosted Mikayla Connell of San Francisco Pride so they could go over his anti-gay ways. Holier-than-thou O’Reilly, of course, deflects all the criticism onto other people, like his guests. What a man.
Some horrible, but completely expected news from the Roommate Newswire: "i heard on npr this morning that the choices for real world bklyn are ft. greene and williamsburg."
… this morning MTV announced it has greenlit the 21st season of The Real World. It will be filmed in Brooklyn, the reigning home turf of post-teen drama, and broadcast in 13 one-hour episodes in early 2009. No word yet regarding in which neighborhood the attention-seeking hopefuls will reside …
Please, please, please, please, please let it be Brownsville. It could be the first accurate use of the titular "Real" in the show's history.
That ridiculous and toxic "cool spotting" Web site we told you about earlier is already being made a mockery of using the very tools it provides. Though the site signed a deal giving exclusive sponsorship rights to Pepsi, Coca-Cola Classic is apparently the preferred soft drink of famous cool people. Ha!
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