These days it's clearer than ever: loyalty and Hollywood go together like boxing gloves and telephones.

Now that we in the Western world are eating fish skeletons out of the garbage like the Heathcliff of world powers, too poor to lavish celebrities with sufficient amounts of money and gifts, our disappointed stars are turning their rhinoplastied noses eastward, to the mysterious, exciting, oil-rich Orient. In Dubai, where oil barons mingle with Russian gangsters in $1,500 shoes, the money flows as plentifully as the region's largest export. And just like that, our celebrities are taking their balls and going to the UAE!

CONTINUED »

George Michael got the celebrity treatment this weekend when he was busted for possession of crack and marijuana and then released with a simple warning. The incident occurred at a London airport bathroom after an attendant tipped off police, who gave a "relatively mild punishment" for possession of class A drugs. Who here is surprised?

To smooth over the situation, George released a statement:

I want to apologise to my fans for screwing up again, and to promise them I'll sort myself out. And to say sorry to everybody else, just for boring them.

We have a feeling most fall in the latter category of people Michael was referencing, considering this incident occurred in the post-Crazy Britney era. No hard feelings, George.

[Source]

• Since he can't screw them he's taken to screwing with them. [DListed]

• Brooke Burke in another bikini. I wonder if she has warm ones for the winter. [HT]

• Don't you dare say anything about Giada, you cruel harlots! [Glitterati]

• Christian Bale promises Heath Ledger will be doing a "different" Joker. Which just means worse than Jack Nicholson. [ICYDK]

• George Michael being a vanguard in the gay community and refusing to get an HIV test. And the band plays on! [Yeeeah]

• "Oh, drugs drugs! Then, yes!" [CityRag]

George Michael and boyfriend Kenny Goss arrived in Dallas yesterday, where they will spend some time visiting Kenny's hometown. Sadly the merriment ran into a snag when, in the nine steps from the trunk of his car to the driver's seat, Michael ended up high and with a police officer's penis in his hand. Nobody could explain it.

[Source]

• Animal lover Pamela Anderson just realizing sheepskin is leather. Not kidding. [INO]

• A couple weeks ago I said this: "If they want a "gritty" modeling show all they need is a few vodka drinks, Naomi Campbell, a meek assistant and a video camera. Shit will get fairly gritty." Looks like a producer was reading. The well-manicured fists will fly! [Jossip]

• Daryl Hannah kinda making sense on a feminist tip. [DListed]

• What's surprising isn't that Courtney Love looks like this. What's surprising is that people still want Courtney Love's autograph. [ICYDK]

• I think the thing with this girl is the dark eyes. [HT]

• George Michael's addicted to pot and finds it damaging! [Celebitchy]

• Kimberly Stewart is FHM's most eligible bachelorette? Now I know why FHM got canned. [CW]

• Scarlett using her sexiness for more than just winning Hottest Babe awards. [JJ]