Charlie Gibson's interview with Sarah Palin last night confirmed what many already feared: That for all the McCain-fueled vitriol towards the media for portraying her as some sort of dumb hockey mom, she doesn't know more than the Mighty Ducks when it comes to foreign policy. Palin did as expected: She dodged questions, filled her answers with vague postulating, and eventually forced Gibson to explain to her just what the hell he was talking about. Though big ups to Charlie for holding his own, and making sure viewers were aware that she didn't have a clue on what, say, the Bush Doctrine is, before he had to tell her about it. To be fair, George Bush would have probably been queasy on the question too.
According to a report from the Interior Department's inspector general, the Minerals Management Service, a government entity that collects oil and gas royalties from godless oil prospectors out to drill government land, is awash in cocaine and sexual misconduct.
The inspector described the office as "a culture of ethical failure," and cites instances of employees accepting gifts from oil and gas representatives (paintball outings, Toby Keith tickets*), employees dealing drugs to one another and employees constantly fucking one another. One high-ranking official used to buy coke from his secretary IN HIS OFFICE DURING WORK HOURS and have sex with two of his subordinates. Another higher-up got his yay from a subordinate with whom he also had a sexual relationship. Bush's moral America, ladies and gentlemen!
*Republicans, definitely
Please, America, elect Barack Obama. On behalf of the world. Some people, I think they're called racists, say America is not ready for a black president.
But I know America to be a forward-thinking country because otherwise why would you have let that retard and cowboy fella be president for eight years?
We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because in England he wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors.
[Source]
The Republican National Convention attempted to match the star-studded DNC with a comedic routine by First Lady Laura Bush, who took to the stage to defend her husband's 8-year mistake.
'America is in the middle of a heated campaign,' she said, '… but you haven’t heard very many facts.'
'In honor of our nominee,' she continued, 'let’s call this a little straight talk.' The First Lady proceeded to tick down a list of President George W. Bush’s accomplishments, including the 'No Child Left Behind' education changes, freedom for Iraq and Afghanistan and HIV-AIDS relief in Africa.
'You might call that change you can really believe in,' she said with a grin.
Or we could call it a load of crock.
[Source]
Haha! Both Senator John Kerry and Vice Presidential nominee Joe Biden accidentally called John McCain George W Bush in their speeches at last night's DNC. Aside from the first syllable, the two Republicans' names sound completely different from one another, but they're JUST SO DAMNED SIMILAR policy-wise, so it's easy to mistake one's creased, warmongering face for the other's.
We really hope neither Biden nor Kerry has to apologize for the "Freudian slips," even though at least one of them was probably intentional. (Hey, we're complete cynics at this point.)
Poor Owen Wilson. He's not only survived a suicide attempt, but also two rounds of the clingy Kate Hudson — and it's looking like history will repeat itself now that the always reputable Star is reporting Kate wants Owen back for round three.
He was frosty at first. He felt betrayed when she dumped him for his friend Lance. But after a while, he caved in and has been sweet to her. … It's not fair to Owen, because he really cares for her and ends up getting hurt.
Owen really should know better by now. Just like President Bush says: "Fool me once, shame on … shame on you. You fool me, you can't get fooled again." Indeed.
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The Barack Obama campaign decided to use some footage of John McCain with entertainers and our president to make a “celebrity ad” of his own.
Yesterday we told you about how grizzled pepaw John McCain is using a new ad to compare Barack Obama to Britney Spears. Someone with a better memory than us remembered that, actually, Spears is known to be much more like McCain than she is the Democratic nominee. Not only are they both war heroes (Spears was in Da Nang) and older than you'd think, Spears and Arizona Johnny are also both willing to blindly follow George W Bush like gutless lemmings. Does this sound familiar: "Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes, and we should just support that."
CONTINUED »
First the Wall Street Journal posited that The Dark Knight was about the war on terror and that Batman was President Bush. Now this, from New York Post film critic Kyle Smith:
Batman is not charming. He isn't popular, partly because he's a zealot and partly because he doesn't bother to explain himself to the press. He is independently wealthy, having spent years as the head of an industrial company. His methods are disturbing, his operations bathed in darkness. He is misunderstood, mistrusted, endlessly pursued by the attack dogs of the night…. And he lives in an undisclosed location. Isn't it obvious? Batman is Dick Cheney with hair.
(emphasis added)
We finally get a sneak peek of Oliver Stone’s W, the G.W. Bush biopic that has been in the news lately due to the Louisiana arrest of stars Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright, now that the first trailer has hit YouTube. All I have to say is this: Bush lovers, the few that are left, of course, are going to hate this. Oh, and I didn’t believe it was possible to make Thandie Newton look like Condi Rice.
Heidi Montag, one of the only members of Young Hollywood brave — or foolish — enough to publicly support John McCain, is quickly inserting herself into the GOP. She and Spencer Pratt dined with (in the vicinity of) George Bush at this year’s White House Correspondents Dinner, and yesterday she grabbed lunch with McCain’s daughter Meghan, who runs that blog. They ate at The Ivy, a spot where many famous people go to avoid being photographed by the paparazzi. Except, egads, the paps found ‘em! And they were tres interested in what they were up to! Well, not so much Meghan, because they didn’t have a clue who she was.
George W. Bush, seen here exchanging chest love with a young military man, will tour the nation to console the millions and millions of people who have suffered under his presidency, according to Onion News Network.
This past weekend's Texas Republican state convention was a breeding ground for people who love their Bibles, guns and George W. Bush. I'm generalizing, but, coming from a small Texas town, I can assure you the stereotype holds true more often than not. These buttons, which were sold at the convention, prove my point (and remind me why I left the state to begin with).
• John McCain believes bringing troops from Iraq is "not too important." But does he have a cute biking outfit? [SH]
• A plethora of celebrities took a break from being photographed outside LA nightclubs to be photographed at an LA sporting event. [PS]
• George Clooney reportedly broke up with Sarah Larson because she decided to get a boob job. Fair enough. [INO]
• Country singer Taylor Swift will attempt to steal the spotlight from Miley Cyrus in the upcoming Hannah Montana movie. [ICYDK]
• Donald Trump's headpiece actually moves. [DListed]
American Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, explaining why he originally didn't want George W. Bush to appear on the show's charity episode:
We didn't ask the President this year to say anything because we are all a bit embarrassed about him, and the office insisted that, because the [primary] candidates were on it, the President would like to come on and say ‘thank you.’
[Source]
THAT'S OUR SEANY BOY! "At the opening day jury press conference [at Cannes], Sean Penn made a pitch for the first-ever jury prexy’s choice screening of the tsunami doc 'The Third Wave;' called George W. Bush’s politics 'evil,' and said, 'film is about art, and art is about love. The brain has a purpose in connecting with the heart. When someone works without a brain or a heart they kill thousands of people around the world.' Admitting that he was 'not comfortable in a group of people like this,' Penn asked one journo, 'can you get me a drink?'"
The polar bear was today recognized by the Bush administration as a "threatened" species. This means that, under the Endangered Species Act, the majestic, apex predator of the Arctic is just one step away from endangered and two steps away from extinction.
Indeed, scientists are concerned. But the Bush administration doesn't give a fuck about scientists. Nor do they give a fuck about you, your kids or your kid's kids. That's why there's this little addendum:
A threatened listing under the Endangered Species Act (ESA) is supposed to provide broad protection to polar bears. Greenpeace, however, noted an exemption (technically known as a 4d exemption) for global warming pollution contained in the ruling.
"Global warming is the biggest threat facing polar bears and this exemption eliminates any real protection the listing could have provided," the group said. "It specifically says federal agencies don't need to consider the impact of global warming pollution on the polar bear.
"This might look like a listing to protect the polar bear but it's really just a way for the administration to protect the interests of the oil and gas industry, as well as get away without taking action on global warming."
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