David Beckham continues his fashionable affair with Giorgio Armani.

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Which is harder to accept as "elegant": Beyoncé or velvet sweat pants?

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• How fights between prima donnas begin. [TMZ]

• Paul McCartney's new lady friend is still married! [DListed]

• Steve Carrell is no scab. [EBG]

• Lenny Kravitz scurrying about in tight pants. Nothing more. [PS]

• Is melanoma fashionable? [HT]

• Jessica Simpson: "A Boston man is closest to a Southern man, I believe." [INO]

• Kim Kardashian celebrates that one (other) time she showed her breasts and vagina to the world. [ICYDK]

• Before he totaled his race car, subsequently injuring his good friend, Nick Hogan had been drinking. What a Hulkamaniac. [Yeeeah]

• The Critic: Gone but never, ever forgotten. [CityRag]

Weekend at Bernie's was awesome. Remember that scene where the zany one gets the stuffy one to finally chill and they're playing Monopoly, pausing every now and again to wave Bernie's lifeless arms—conspicuously tied to ropes—at passersby? That was damn fine comedic cinema.

Here's Armani in a Speedo to rekindle memories of simpler times, when dead men in tropical climates was all that was needed for a real belly laugh. Someone get some ropes on this guy's wrists!

'Member yesterday when I told you that the only reason David and Victoria Beckham were moving to LA was to become acting Scientologists? Well, some people said they didn't believe me, so I called up Giorgio Armani and asked him to back me up:

"If (reports that the deal is worth $250 million) are true, then he has done the right thing. And I think he wants to be an actor, not a footballer," Armani, who has designed the England soccer team's outfits in recent years, told reporters on the sidelines of Milan's fashion shows.

"He is a very handsome man and his football career could be nearing an end," he said. "Also look at his wife…I saw her at Tom Cruise's wedding and she is a very bubbly lady," he said.

So, he's handsome, she's bubbly, they're tired of their old careers and they've got more money than they can spend? Clearly, they need to become actors. By the way, if, like me, any of you have starving actor friends who never sleep and would "kill to get a Pepto-Bismol commercial," telling them what Giorgio Armani thinks qualifies a person to be an actor is the quickest way to enrage them and hurt their feelings at the same time.

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