Here's someone we don't hear from often: Jean-Claude Van Damme. The Muscles From Brussels, as Wikipedia calls him, is (happily?) married, but that doesn't stop him from hitting on poor Newsweek reporters during interviews about his latest film creation. It's glorious, and almost akin to watching animals mate. You know you should look away, but you can't. See his Mystery-worthy technique after the jump.
Bonus: While searching on Mollygood for previous Jean-Claude items, I came across this old school post, which has become the greatest gift I've ever unintentionally received (video also after the jump). Enjoy. CONTINUED »
MEET WINEHOUSE'S NEWEST LOVE INTEREST • "Amy Winehouse has been secretly phoning and texting 16-year-old X Factor star Eoghan Quigg. The troubled singer even invited the innocent Northern Irish lad — her junior by nine years — to join her for a wild night on the tiles."
Former Playboy harem member Kendra Wilkinson has finally escaped the feeble clutches of ex-boyfriend Hugh Hefner, but her new fiance, professional football player Hank Baskett, won't stop talking about the old man:
Hef is like a father to her so he's going to be the one to give her away. That's why I wanted his blessings and her mom's blessing.
Uh, excuse us? Her former boyfriend is like a father to her? And Hank needed to get his blessing before proposing? Run, Hank. Far, far away from all these crazy, messed up people.
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GOOD IDEAS "A Korean woman addicted to plastic surgery has been left unrecognizable after her obsession led her to inject cooking oil into her face."
This is quite possibly the most disgusting thing we've seen since the last batch of drugged-out Amy Winehouse photos cropped up a few weeks ago. Please don't view this if you are planning on eating in the near future — or if you like tiny little critters.
Yankees d-bag Alex Rodriguez and musical d-bag Madonna had a "meeting of the minds," if you will, last week at Jerry Seinfeld's mansion in the Hamptons. And, because these two losers can't do anything quietly, it was a huge James Bond-like production.
A chopper carrying the Yankee slugger was seen landing in East Hampton, where he was picked up in a white Porsche 911 matching the description of Jessica [Seinfeld]'s car. Less than 40 minutes later, another helicopter that took off from Chelsea Piers with Madonna aboard landed at the same airstrip.
'A dark SUV and Jerry in another Porsche both pulled up and picked up Madonna and they headed back to Jerry's place,' a witness told us. … 'About four hours later, the dark SUV left the house and took them all back to the airport.'
We did not need to know any of this. Seriously, the images haunting our mind right now are worse than that freaky clown from a few posts below.
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JONAS BROS JUMP THE GASSY DOG "Another hot Disney Channel act is poised to make a bigscreen splash — at 20th Century Fox. Fox has locked the Jonas Brothers to make their feature starring debut in 'Walter the Farting Dog.' Based on a bestselling series of books by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray, the film is being adapted by Alec Sokolow and Joel Cohen into a family film that will revolve around Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas, as well as their younger brother Frankie. … The title character in the 'Walter' books is a fat dog with severe flatulence. The brothers play musicians whose parents are asked to care for the dog by an aunt just before she passes away."
'MUTILATED' MCCAIN SUPPORTER ADMITS SHE'S A RACIST LIAR "A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed."
George Hamilton revealed on the cougar talk show The View (while promoting his new memoir) that he had an affair with his stepmom when he was 12 years old.
When I was very young, 12, I had a relationship with my stepmother. Yeah. She was about 28, 30. It was very normal. My father never knew about it. It was very normal. She didn't make me feel bad about it.
He laughed when asked if he thought he was abused, saying he was very willing, despite the whole breaking the law thing: "It didn't feel abnormal."
We just threw up our lunch.
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Miley Cyrus, the most appropriate 15-year-old to come out of Disney in recent years, was spotted rooting on her pretty 20-year-old boyfriend, Justin Gaston, as he walked the Christian Audigier runway during LA Fashion Week. Looks like being Miley's illegal boy toy comes with perks — and a little underage tongue action. Ick.
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'AUSTIN POWERS' VILLAIN A TRULY VILLAINOUS RAPIST "Joe Son, who played the character Random Task in the first 'Austin Powers' movie, has been charged by California authorities in connection with an unsolved 1990 Christmas Eve gang rape. Son pleaded guilty in May to felony vandalism, which required him to give a DNA sample — which eventually connected him to the rape, police say. Son, 37, was charged Oct. 1 with five felony counts of forcible rape, two felony counts of forcible sodomy, two felony counts of sodomy in concert by force, seven felony counts of forcible oral copulations, one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force according to an Orange County District Attorney's."
The Lifetime channel is making it very clear that it's sick and tired of being a punchline B-list comediennes use when talking about what they do when they get dumped or are on their periods.
First the network sneakily snatched away Bravo's trendy reality program Project Runway. Now it's delving even deeper into the hip fashion game with a new original reality series, Blush: The Search for the Next Great Makeup Artist. Because culture just doesn't celebrate the useless but moneymaking fashion industry enough!
Yet despite its similarities to shows like Runway and Shear Genius, Blush also promises to be quite different—it's going to be much, much worse. That's because it's basically a goddamn unabashed infomercial.
Taco Bell, bless its heart, hosted a "Reality Check Challenge" to help solve world hunger yesterday in LA. And who did the restaurant enlist to help? Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, obviously the most charitable couple in Hollywood. Instead of bringing light to the world's food issues, the reality show duo made us vomit up our last meal.
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Whatever happened to good old, stupid old celebrity endorsements that at least were only disgusting on a philosophical level?
Now we've got Levi's "Unbutton Your Beast" campaign. Disguised as "viral" marketing, "Beast" is actually just one big disgusting cock joke intended to briefly hold the attention of a sex-starved, increasingly brain dead public. ("Look, it's a meatball sub coming out of the zipper of a pair of pants! Funny, because that's where penises come out of too!") Other beasts unbuttoned on the site include a bespectacled hog, an alien wearing lipstick and a lobster claw.
Never before have I wished a company would increase its ad budget.
FANCY SWISS RESTAURATEUR PLAYS IT CLOSE TO THE CHEST "The owner of the Storchen restaurant in the exclusive Winterthur resort will improve his menu with local specialities such as meat stew and various soups and sauces containing at least 75 per cent of mother's milk. 'We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet?' Hans Locher, who has become Switzerland most controversial restaurant owner, said. Mr Locher attracted the attention of the leading media of the German-speaking world this week after he posted ads looking for women donors, who will receive just over three pounds for 14 ounces of their milk."
A few weeks ago, the children were freak dancing, presumably with the support of a filming guardian. Today, they're being goaded by an adult into violently berating another little girl who they say is "big in the stomach."
Videos like this always remind me of a great Keanu Reeves quote from 1989's Parenthood:
You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
Click through for the NSFW, horrifying clip.
Upset that you couldn't make it to this season's high-class New York Fashion Week? Don't be! Go find some meth heads in your area who will do anything for another hit; you'll practically be backstage at the Marc Jacobs show:
This always causing trouble A list singer was all over fashion week. He was also all over a model at one of the shows. Not wanting to waste more time with her than necessary, he tempted her with a little white powder, went behind a curtain in the backstage area, and allowed her to get her fill. Then he had her do something else for him if you know what I mean. When she was done, he gave her the rest of the little baggie.
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