The jurors in R. Kelly’s child pornography trial had the distinct displeasure of watching the sex tape that allegedly depicts R. Kelly having sex and urinating on a girl who could have been as young as 13. According to reports, Kelly “watched the video with a studied stare.” Maybe he was trying to act like he hadn’t seen it plenty of times when it was part of his personal video library.
Here's a good idea: Develop a video game to encourage the pedophilic tendencies of the Internet community by challenging them to take naughty photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus. We would like to talk to the person who makes it through the entire game and doesn't feel the urge to take a shower.
Remember Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's "top secret" private wedding plans? Well, secrecy and privacy are out the window if you can afford to pay the couple seven figures for a press pass.
Got a million bucks and a blog? Get at them! And do try to spill a drink on someone.
Garage sale hunters likely don't want to touch anything owned by Pamela Anderson, let alone her underwear. But that's exactly what she sold at an estate sale over the weekend, all in the name of the lovely charity known as PETA. It's all for the animals.
Also up for grabs were broken light bulbs, fondue fountains and a hot pink butt blaster exercise machine. Terrible, right? But for some reason, fans waited for hours just to touch her used underwear. One buyer explained it this way: "I just wanted to see how rich people live."
And with that, our hopes for humanity are gone.
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HUSSY "It's kiss-and-tell time for Barbara Walters: She had an affair with U.S. Sen. Edward Brooke in the 1970s, the veteran journalist revealed during an interview with Oprah Winfrey scheduled to air on Tuesday. After three decades of silence, Walters, 78, is speaking out about her multi-year relationship. According to transcripts from the show obtained by the Associated Press, the View host called Brooke 'exciting' and 'brilliant' — and tells Winfrey, 'I was certainly infatuated … It was exciting times in Washington.'"
Tony Romo celebrated another year of life Saturday night in Dallas, and girlfriend Jessica Simpson was there to cause a scene, because nobody else is allowed to take the spotlight away from her.
To kick off the evening's festivities, Jess took to the microphone and sang "Happy Birthday," much to the disappointment of everyone else in attendance. But then when it was time to unveil the cake, things took a turn for the worse.
'She licked cake from his face as everyone cheered them on. It was quite a spectacle,' says one club insider. 'But they looked really happy together. Jessica had blue icing all over her hands and mouth and Tony was laughing.'
If you have yet to eat lunch, feel free to view the rest of the photos here.
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In case you haven't heard, there is a war going on, and it's not in Iraq — it's waging between Perez Hilton and John Mayer. Perez accused John in this week's Life & Style and In Touch of making out with him in 2006. Yeah, he's just now bringing this up. Perez says he decided to spill the beans now because John has been saying mean things about him on his blog — which would normally serve as reason to be upset, except it's Perez Hilton.
John retaliated in an XM radio interview by correctly pointing out that Perez doesn't actually hate celebrities — he wants to be one. It's pretty obvious John isn't that bothered by Perez, and that should have been the end of the saga.
Except it's not. Now Us Weekly is promising a video showing Perez taking a lie detector test with an examiner from the worst television show in the world, Moment of Truth. Nobody really cares at this point whether or not it's true; the entertainment comes from watching Perez desperately try to stay in the limelight.
Two months after declaring plastic surgeon Jan Adams a "butcher" when his patient and Kanye West's mother, Donda West, died following a procedure, TMZ was today forced to print this:
The coroner says several things could have played a role in [Donda West's] death, but they could not say for sure what exactly killed her, adding there was no evidence that anesthesia — or even the surgery — caused or contributed to her death.
Besides publicly questioning his professional capabilities, TMZ also used their site to accuse Adams of being a sexual predator and a domestic abuser, and then they publicized his DUI arrest.
Now that he's been exonerated, in their one post on the matter (there were at least 10 degrading him), TMZ said only of Adams: "We've reported extensively that Donda West had cosmetic surgery the day before her death — performed by Dr. Jan Adams, who was not board certified in plastic surgery."
So, they shoot first and don't even ask questions later.
VERY BAD THINGS "The former head of the top supplier of body armor to the U.S. military was released Thursday from federal custody after posting $400 million bond. David H. Brooks, the former chief executive of DHB Industries Inc., which is now Point Blank Solutions Inc., has spent several months locked up on fraud charges." While reaping millions from the war in Iraq, Brooks bought himself a $100,000 belt buckle, his wife an $8,000 face lift and his daughter an $8 million bat mitzvah.
So that there's no question, we're only posting this because Perez Hilton is much richer and more famous than us.
According to court documents detailing Britney Spears' spending habits, she spends about $102,000 a month on fucking "entertainment." Every month she also spends about 16 grand on clothes. Go ahead, it's OK to cry.
Well then! Many, many questions after watching this: Does he really like her? Does he really like licking her toes? Really? Does she really like having her toes licked? Does she have parents? How do her parents feel watching her have her toes licked? How does his father stomach watching his son lick a semi-celebrity's toes in pursuit of a game show victory? Who the hell watches this stillborn shit? Why am I crying?
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From the inbox:
Greetings Friends at MollyGood!
If you can believe it, at least 1 in 20 celebrities have Chlamydia… It's spreading fast around not just Hollywood, but all across the country! And we thought you might wanna help us stop it!
We do! So, allow us: Don't have sex with celebrities, America! Five percent of them are gross.
It's unclear whether he chooses girlfriends who look like his daughter or whether his girlfriends choose fashion icons who look like his daughter, but the result is a man dating a woman who looks strikingly similar to his daughter. And that's so very, very disconcerting.
Best Week Ever has a blind item so amazing that it makes all other blind items look like eagles with bifocals. It has to do with an A-List actor and it also has to do with coprophagia. If you don't know what coprophagia is, google it, but for God's sake DON'T image search it.
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is fitmt:
god is punishing
stephen for past sins. didn’t
you see biodome?
Lots of points for referencing Biodome, because I did see it, and it scarred me for life.
New one under here.
CONTINUED »
Editor
