Madonna has some sort of obsession with the rear ends of Hollywood's finest, having first given a B12 shot to Justin Timberlake's behind and then following suit with Gerard Butler. Our future husband said he was sick on the set of a Guy Ritchie film when Madonna decided to play nurse:

Well, she was amazing. She just said, 'Drop your pants.' I stood there with my little bottom out, and she gave me a shot in the bum! … It didn't work at all — I got more sick! But I appreciated the effort.

We have to hand it to Madonna: The whole B12 shot thing is pretty ingenious. Hope she doesn't mind if we steal it.

[Source]

DUELING SHERLOCKS "Columbia Pictures is betting that audiences will quickly embrace as inherently hilarious the idea of Sasha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell as Sherlock Holmes and his crime-solving partner Dr. Watson, Variety reports. … Based on the famed novels by Arthur Conan Doyle, the comedy is the second Holmes project currently in the works at a major studio, although Warner Bros.' 'Sherlock Holmes' is a drama written by Anthony Peckham to be directed by Guy Ritchie."

WE FORGOT THEY WERE STILL MARRIED "Madonna … is understood to be seeking legal advice on a possible divorce from her husband of seven years, the film director Guy Ritchie. [Fiona] Shackleton, 52, is the lawyer of choice for the rich and famous after what was regarded as the spectacularly well-handled split of Sir Paul [McCartney] from Heather Mills."

Hey, you try looking excited to premiere a film that was completed almost three years ago and is said to be hard to care about and "moldy."

CONTINUED »

Ah, hello. How are you, David Banda? I hope you're not tiring yourself out with that plastic helicopter too much, because you've got a lot of dates to go on. What? You didn't know? You're the famous adopted son of the queen of pop music and a director people love. You're already cute and, in a few more years, you'll have developed a British accent that, for some reason, women find absolutely irresistible. Top it all off with the sad story about how you were torn from your African homeland and you're melting doors into hearts around the world. I can't believe you haven't yet been hugged to death.

Better drink your Similac!

[Source]

• Lindsay Lohan buys so many cameras, you just gotta believe there are a few floating around the world holding lurid pictures. It's only a matter of time. [Splash]

• Don't worry Britney, the porn stars still love ya! Just ask Jenna Jameson. [Yeeeah]

• Seriously. This Prison Break dude. Shadiest. Story. Ever. Or, as I also call it, Entourage plotline gone very, very, very wrong. [TMZ]

• You know Oprah gave Gayle King a stern talking to after the first statement, hence the clarification. [DListed]

• Hugh Grant got old. [CityRag]

• Scarlett Johansson knows she's gotta flaunt it while she's got it. [Egotastic]

• Guy Richie finally as sick of Madonna as everyone else has been for years. [A Socialite's Life]

• Penelope Cruz's Amores Pedros. [PopSugar]

• Oh I get it, Shery Crow is being leather for Halloween. [DListed]

• Hard to remember controversy when he's so damn cute. [Bricks and Stones]

• Mischa Barton auditions for hair band groupie. [A Socialite's Life]

• Paris doesn't stop with pot in her teddy bears. Don't even ask where she keeps her used condom collection. [BWE]

• Vincent Gallo is the Madonna of hipsters, can't steal orphan dig addled teen waif, must steal Cobrasnake's. [Junkiness]

• Keanu Reeves is just like any other hobo on the street with coffee, only he's got china. [Splash]

• Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards on the same screen. Stop fantasizing…it's some lame romantic comedy. [Hollywood Tuna]

• Beyonce visits Australian Zoo, just to see some living things more trapped than she is. [PopSugar]

• Natasha Lyonne lives! But really, is a life without crack really worth living at all? [US Weekly]

• Contrary to rumors, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey are not getting married yet. Wonder which one is the committment phobe. [A Socialite's Life]

• Naomi Campbell did not get arrested this week. And by "did not" I mean "totally did." [Celebrity Nation]

• Tori Spelling is even more rich, bitch. [Celebitchy]

• Save Sienna Miller from the human stain that is Jude Law. Since Katie has been a lost cause for a while now. [I'm Not Obsessed]

• Madonna is sick of Guy Richie's sperm, plans to adopt. [DListed]

• Jessica Simpson chooses Dane Cook to co-host the Teen Choice Awards, party in her pants. [WWTDD]

• The Angelina Jolie nose job rumors have been around for a while now. You look at the comparison and decide. I refuse to believe my personal Mother Teresa would do something like that to me. [CityRag]

• A Colin Farrell stalker somehow got her ass to the Tonight Show yesterday. I hope she stood in line for tickets just like the rest of the audience. No special treatment for crazies. [IDLYITW]

• Mary-Kate Olsen is taking it back with her fashion sense. Like way back. Like biblical times back. [DListed]

• Joe Simpson's Creepy Dad Gossip Trading card appreciates in value every time he forces a daughter into cosmetic surgery. [Gallery of the Absurd]

• Speaking of which, watch Ashlee Simpson's new face perform in her new video before they force it to be removed. [Faded Youth]

• David Spade is amazed that he scored a woman as hot as Heather Locklear. The world agrees. [Celebitchy]

• Victoria Beckham is everyone's guilty pleasure. Criticize all you want, but she looks hot in those shorts. [Hollywood Tuna]

• Amy Poehler has some advice if you're ever in New York. Somehow she left out 'be sure not to eat anything, lest it have calories.' [CityRag]

• Madonna won't sleep in the same room as Guy Richie because she can't be around the AC. That, or she can't stand looking at his face. [Hollywood Rag]