Gwen Stefani published a picture of her new son, Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale (we're not even going to touch that name), on her Web site in an attempt to keep the paparazzi at bay. Nobody was paid for this exchange, yet everyone got to see the baby without privacy being invaded. Good for you, Gwen — and that baby is adorable.
• Because we can't resist adorable animals. [DListed]
• The Brangelina clan has descended upon NYC. Everyone stock up on bottled water and batteries. [PS]
• Something's wrong with Jessica Simpson, besides the usual. [HT]
• Shia LaBeouf injured himself again. This kid has really bad luck. [INO]
• Can we please discuss how cute this celebrity child is? [ICYDK]
• Audrina Patridge's side boob. It's a slow news day. [Yeeeah]
STILL WITH THIS JAMAICA OBSESSION "It's Love, Angel, Music, and Baby No. 2 for Gwen Stefani, who on Thursday gave birth to a boy. Zuma Nesta Rock weighed 8 pounds and 5 ounces when he was born Thursday afternoon … The pop star and fashionista already has one son, Kingston, with her husband, rocker Gavin Rossdale."
• Old school Britney loved Cheetos even back in the day. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan's side boob would be more exciting had we not already seen the entire thing. [HT]
• Gwen Stefani is about to give birth. Oh good, because we haven't heard any celebrity baby news lately. [ICYDK]
• Upon realizing that everyone in America hates her, Paris Hilton is taking her BFF search overseas. [PS]
• Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds decided to hold off on their wedding until after the presidential election. There's still time! [INO]
• Megan Fox will film a lesbian scene. Of course. [Yeeeah]
Queen of Pilates Madonna partnered with Gucci last night to host a UNICEF charity dinner and auction. Celebrities came out in droves to wear Gucci clothing, fatten themselves on rich cuisine ("tart of goat cheese, foraged mushrooms, truffled mashed potatoes") and bid on extravagant leisure opportunities, all for the benefit of those who can't afford such luxuries.
Tom Cruise bid $100,000 for the opportunity to convert play sports with Alex Rodriguez and David Beckham, but was summarily outbid by more than 200 grand. "But how will he write a check with no fingers?" an insider heard Cruise whisper. The action star was then quiet for the remainder of the evening.
Later, an attendee paid $600,000 to take a dance class with Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE! "Singer Gwen Stefani is pregnant, Gavin Rossdale's father, Douglas, tells Usmagazine.com. 'Yes, they are!' he gushed early Tuesday in a telephone interview.'"
Is this stupid? Cute? Skewed is probably sufficient.
More of the elder conspicuous consumer under here.
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Buying a $900 baby stroller means that, pound for pound, you're just as vanity-driven as that jackass Simon Cowell and his stupid $1.5 million land rocket.
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• You're telling me this guy's a drunk who puts his and others' well-being at risk? No way. [Yeeeah]
• Faced with the prospect of a string of bad movies and an untimely career death, Maya Rudolph comes back to the arthritic, unfunny arms of Saturday Night Live. [BWE]
• With support like this, huh, Rudy? [Jossip]
• They're giving Dane Cook another movie to pilot into a damn oil field. [DListed]
• Now it's news if one doesn't expose one's vagina. [HT]
• Serves her right: She trusted a guy named Cash. [ICYDK]
• Pickles and bread? Isn't that the Gwen Stefani diet? [INO]
• Stupid human tricks! These are always funny when you're drunk and tired! [CityRag]
Questionable past statements and the oceanic amounts of liquid liner she rips through have often brought into question Gwen Stefani's sanity. She's never come off as a maniacal maniac or a psychotic psycho, but she does exhibit signs of a sharp personality disorder. And now this, allaying all speculation:
My grandmother was one of those really obese women and I think that frightened my mom. I've always been on a diet, ever since I was in the sixth grade. It was out of my mother's love for me.
Ding-ding-ding! Her mom screwed her up! No more guesswork and no more dubbing her hypocritical nonsense "a new brand of feminism." Now get this starving canvas to a doctor.
If you thought Gwen Stefani's new LAMB line sucked, you were probably right. Here's an excerpt from the Times review:
If ever there was a reason for a pop star to concentrate on her vocal skills, it was Gwen Stefani’s fashion meltdown. Among the words I wrote in my notebook, until my pen came to a stop, were “blob,” “very last season,” “bad secretary,” “astonishingly bad,” and “Ditzville.” I’m amazed—now—I had that much to say.
In related news, as many bloggers have speculated, it looks as if the New York Times has indeed added Perez Hilton commenters to their editorial staff. What else can explain shorthand critiques like "Ditzville" and "blob"?
[Source]
Of course, not everyone has the luxury of being able to step over Fashion Week as if it were an errant mess on a city sidewalk. Occasionally, notable people are present for – and even active participants in – the clamorous, glamorous hubbub. To these precious few we briefly offer our attention and pity.
After the jump, highlights from Gwen Stefani's retro yet accessible LAMB show. Never you mind that most of the pieces look to require that the wearer have a secret eating disorder. Oh, the patterns!
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After the jump, more of this hideous, titless "surfboard" in Hawaii
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• On the Road has turned 50! Apparently that's enough time for all the hipsters to forget that Kerouac was a self-loathing, homophobic racist. [NYT]
• I can believe it. And 63 bill is a fair amount. [DListed]
• McPhee is fake pregnant and scaring her boyfriend. [HT]
• Wanna stink of unyielding effort? [ICYDK]
• Did this guy actually siphon funds from charity? Jesus. The Devil wears whatever he's got on. [DS]
• Evan Rachel Wood still being cutely "shocking." [Yeeeah]
• Now that he's been outed as a botox-drenched faker, can we put an end on all the unfunny "Chuck Norris is so strong…" lists? [CityRag]
Look at how surprised her kid gets when Gwen Stefani only takes half an hour to get ready.
Several more after the jump.
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Last Friday, Gwen Stefani allowed one of the members of her Asian posse to break the fourth wall and get married. Music (real name Rino Nakasone) was wed before Stefani and family and the other three Harajuku Girls that compose Stefani's minstrely backing troupe: Love, Angel and Baby. Sources say the otherwise dignified ceremony became mildly awkward when Stefani asked where all the samurai were.
Very cool ensemble, Gwen. You sure do look fashionable. Now how about offering your baby some respite from the sun that you're stylishly avoiding with a hip hat and some shades? That shit is negligent. N-E-G-L-I-G-E-N-T.
More under the cut.
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Editor
