We're not losing our hair anytime soon and that makes us happy, because, sure, we like having hair. But, glad as we are to not be bald, we'll never understand comments like this recent one from Gwyneth Paltrow:

I was very, very attached to my hair. I grew it when I was pregnant. I still had hair from when my father was alive. I made it like a talisman. And then I was ready to let go of it, and so I chopped it off and … aaah!

Hair as a talisman? Traumatic haircuts? What is it with you hair people? Seriously, tell us. We want to know.

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OK, just got this e-mail from a – not joking – Ms Goon, asking if I'd like to cover an event in which women will be hawking hair dye made especially for pubes. "Let me know if you’re interested in attending, covering or need high res images, thanks!" she shouts. I, of course, am not interested, and I can't imagine what type of person would be after reading a description like this:

CONTINUED »

Hey, gals, wanna play dress up for a few hours? Maybe alter your identity to spy on the husband you believe to be gay? Well, now there’s a quick, easy way to tie another person’s hair onto your head without having to accept all the godforsaken responsibility that accompanies such an enormous undertaking. And New York City’s to blame:

Celeb hairstylist and extension expert Marc Mena … [creates] long glam [looks] with “One Night Stand,” Warren Tricomi’s rent-an-extension service. For $100, a stylist will custom color-select, apply and style hairpieces to your head. Return the extensions the following day …

Mena also sells fake bangs for $250, so that customers can “try them out.” These, ladies and gentlemen, are the ideas people dream up when forced to talk to celebrities all day long.

Dear Ken Paves,

Please do something about Britney's hair. There is no need for it to look that disgusting every day, and she should learn a new hairstyle. If you need payment, our readers will gladly pitch in (… right guys?) to provide you with proper compensation.

Love,

Mollygood

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• Best "Afternoon Aural" in a long time. [Queerty]

• Heather Mills will be a contestant on next season's Celebrity Apprentice. Because a $50 million divorce settlement can't buy a person the common sense to not be on a reality show. [DListed]

• When in Rome, film commercials you'd be embarrassed to film in America. [PS]

• "There was a definite shift in my life when I decided to [dye my hair red]." Amy Adams, an actress, actually said that. [INO]

• Ashton Kutcher says he is not opposed to adopting a child. We certainly hope adoption agencies are opposed to letting Ashton Kutcher adopt a child. [ICYDK]

• Teeny-tiny girls in high heels! Thanks, Beyonce, you maniac. [Yeeeah]

• Mickey Rourke has a posse. [CityRag]

If you feel like you're having déjà vu, it's understandable: The first photo was released of Britney's second How I Met Your Mother appearance. From the looks of things, the weave has been tamed a bit. Simple pleasures.

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Bret Michaels, on why he always wears that damn bandanna:

My hair is combined of my hair and the finest extensions Europe has to offer. I do the show without it on all the time and they wont film me. They are like, 'Put your bandanna back on. It is your image.' It is my signature thing.

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Dare we say libidinous creep Gene Simmons actually looks handsome as a bald man?

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are in Japan to promote Jumper, and it seems our lady decided to change up her hairstyle. We can't decide if it's…
a) Her real hair
b) Ken Paves extensions
c) A wig from the 99 cent store

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Happy anniversary, everyone! Wait … you don't remember? A year ago today, Britney Spears shaved her head and proved to everyone her issues ran a little deeper than we previously thought. Her hair is still in recovery, but we have high hopes for the next year in the life of Brit (seen here enjoying a relatively normal day of shopping).

Those good feelings come from news that Sam Lutfi is being investigated by the LAPD for drugging Britney — and it's about time.

Law enforcement sources tell us the Major Crimes Division of the LAPD is on the case. The conservators have complained that Lutfi drugged Spears as a way of keeping her under his control. We're told the investigation is very much active.

Sam reportedly had no comment, but he exclusively told us that he can't wait to piss on the graves of every LA cop. OK, we made that last part up. Maybe.

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What the hell is wrong with Kim Vo, hairstylist to the stars? He was supposed to come in and fix that awful weave Britney has been sporting, and now it just looks worse. If that's possible.

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With virtually every black woman in Hollywood burning or pulling their hair into submission, or covering it up altogether (we're looking at you Tyra), we almost forgot how beautiful black really is. Kudos, Badu.

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