HE'S ALL GROWDS UP"David Mamet's 'American Buffalo,' a robbery tale set in a Chicago junk shop, has found its third partner in crime — Haley Joel Osment, who will be making his Broadway debut in the production. The 20-year-old Osment, who was an Academy Award nominee for 'The Sixth Sense,' joins John Leguizamo and Cedric the Entertainer in the revival that opens Nov. 17 at the Belasco Theatre. Preview performances begin Oct. 31."

For today's apparently mandatory Britney Spears FUPA flashing, I've chosen to censor her area with Haley Joel Osment (Ed: Not Jonathon Lipnicki, damn it), because he could probably use the face time. Seriously though, has no one in her corhort tried to run some damage control and at least get girlfriend to put on some underwear? Otherwise though, the dress/shoes aren't half bad and the fake hair is behaving itself better.

Meanwhile, this week's Star Magazine is reporting that Kevin Federline may have been less than faithful to Brit Brit when they were married. And who better to cheat on the pop star with than a porn star. Wheeeee.

If Britney Spears doesn’t have enough reasons to be glad she’s dumping Kevin Federline, here is another: A source tells Star that in early October – a month before Brit served him with divorce papers – Kevin and porn star turned exotic dancer Kendra Jade began a sex-fueled affair! “Kevin and Britney were basically living apart by early October after they had a huge fight over his carousing,” a source tells Star. “Kevin was staying at a friend’s apartment in the LA neighborhood of Studio City – and that’s where he and Kendra took their friendship to another level.”

Kevin and Kendra actually met in December of 2005 through a mutual friend, and as Star exclusively reported in its Jan 3, 2006 issue they kissed and cuddled in a suite at the Venetian Resort in Las Vegas. A source says they stayed in touch afterwards and it was their mutual friend who got them back together more recently. “Kev and Kendra had sex at their friend’s apartment multiple times, starting in early October,” the source says.

A porn star, eh? Classy. Well, after this week, it's probably pretty much a wash as to which lady's crotch is more readily accessible.

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It's a pretty nice mug shot…for a kid who's high on the pot and drunk on the booze (I know, this pic was days after his accident, but I know how those dirty substances work). Such luscious hair, too. Guess you gotta do something to make up for capping off at 5'4".

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It's a big day for celebrity drunk driving. The sort of day that teaches us that in the eyes of the law, we're all equal. Justice will always be served…unles you're Mel Gibson. TMZ tells us that Mel's lawyers copped a plea bargain today in Malibu:

Gibson has agreed to three years probation, but will avoid jail time. Gibson was ordered to attend one year of AA meetings. For the first four-and-a-half months he must attend five times a week. For the remainder of the time, he must attend three times a week. Gibson must also pay $1200 in fines and penalties as well as one hundred dollars in restitution.

Gibson volunteered to do a public service announcement on the hazards of driving under the influence. He also volunteered to enter a rehab program immediately.

Riiight…about that stint in rehab, I thought he was already supposedly in this "rehab." At least that one hundred dollars has to hurt. I'm willing to bet that other than the fines, he'll do none of it.

…and on the other end of the fame spectrum, we revisit another DUI favorite. I can't believe it was only a month ago that Haley Joel Osment went on his wild ride (back into the public's radar) by getting drunk and high and flipping his 1995 Saturn. Today, according to TMZ, he was formally charged with the following counts:

* Driving under the influence of alcohol
* Driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher
* Enhancement of driving with a .15 or higher
* Possession of marijuana while driving

Well, to be fair, that certainly sounds like "enhanced" driving. He should probably get in touch with Mel's people('s paralegals) for help getting himself out of this bind.

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It is just not Haley Joel Osment's day. Not only did he get in a car crash around one am this morning which sort of screams self-medicating, but we all now know that he drives a 1995 Saturn. I guess that's the result of peaking at 11. AP has the story:

Actor Haley Joel Osment was hospitalized early Thursday after he apparently lost control of his car while heading to his Los Angeles-area home, authorities said.

Osment, who was nominated for an Academy Award for his role as a boy who could see dead people in "The Sixth Sense," was driving a 1995 Saturn about 1 a.m. when the car collided with a brick pillar and flipped, said Los Angeles County sheriff's Lt. Greg Sisneros.

The 18-year-old actor was awake and talking following the crash, Sisneros said. He had been alone in the car and was taken to Huntington Hospital in nearby Pasadena.

So, it's probably just rubbing salt into actual wounds to say that I just wrote this whole post confusing Osment with Johnathan Lipnicki and making "Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?" rather than "I see dead people" jokes. Well, at least this is an excuse for a car upgrade, am I right or am I right, Haley?

I've included a current headshot of HJO on the side, in case this reminder of his existence inspires you to give the kid a role of some sort.

Ed Note: Of course I hope Haley Joel has a full and speedy recovery. My apologies for not making that my first response.

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