Despite being "on a break" Lindsay Lohan and Harry Morton met at a quiet little lunch spot called The Ivy for a very private meal. Shockingly, there were paparazzi there to catch Linds and Harry before, after, and probably during their meal. (Obviously, X17 has video, where interestingly enough Lindsay says that she and Harry are still together. Suuuure, Lindsay.) Smells a bit like a publicity stunt, right? Well Janet Charlton has a hunch it all was:
Was Lindsay Lohan's romance with Harry Morton a FAKE from beginning to end? We told you about their mutual love of publicity and the many photo-ops they set up together to make themselves more famous. (Those "candid" shots are all staged!) Now we've learned that they share the same publicist and THAT publicist set them up to meet last summer at a beach house. This same publicist has arrangements to share information with the top celebrity magazines. So this publicist took credit for making Lindsay and Harry a famous couple and kept the magazines happily informed also. Lindsay might have even been PAID to make Harry famous. All because it would benefit his Las Vegas club. It sounds like a tidy business arrangement but it's possible that Lindsay developed feelings for Harry. When Harry called it off and left for Las Vegas, Lindsay was hurt. So now she's hooked up with Stavros Niarchos (another publicity hound ) to get even. Just keep those flashbulbs popping!
Judging from Harry's recent statements about not wanting attention, this theory seems a little far fetched, but those crazy kids certainly love their photo ops.
• Hello Magazine is reporting that Ashlee Simpson was "flawless" her first night. Must be nice to have such low expectations. [Faded Youth]
• Jessica supported this new life in her sister's career by going for the corpse-chic make-up. [BWE]
• Lohan's on Team Harry. So does that mean she's anti-Team Self? [X17]
• This just in: Justin Timberlake likes to have sex with Cameron Diaz. [PopSugar]
• It's a nipple bonanza. [CityRag]
• Travorca's acting a bit "too gay" in the locker room at his health club. [WWTDD]
• Somehow I never pegged Brad Pitt as the kind of laugh riot Sacha Baron Cohen would want to chill with. [A Socialite's Life]
• Mel Gibson thinks we're all gonna die in 2012. I'm sure he'd like that, as people would finallys top talking about his DUI. [The Scoop]
How dare that bastard break the fragile little heart of Lindsay Lohan? I give Lindsay a hard time here, but I really wanted to see these two crazy kids make it. In the end though, even the power of the firecrotch couldn't keep Harry around for her shit show. People reports:
"Harry broke up with Lindsay yesterday at Chateau Marmont after they had dinner on the courtyard patio," a source tells PEOPLE. "Nothing happened at dinner, but shortly afterward, he broke up with her."
Why the split? "She was too much drama," says the source. "Lindsay did cut down on the partying, but with her it's all relative. Harry is sober. It wasn't the partying that broke them up. She's young and a little bit immature. Harry's more low-key and not into the same stuff she's into."
However, a source close to Lohan says, "No one 'dumped' anyone. You don't dump people when you're 20 and 25. You have a mature relationship, and you take a break and you see what happens. Everyone does that."
Lohan's rep could not immediately be reached for comment. A rep for Morton said, "I do not comment on his personal life."
Indeed, Lohan, 20, was spotted at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont on Thursday, running onto the patio where four of her friends were sitting – and weeping, a wad of tissues on one hand, her cell phone in the other.
"She ran in, sat with her group, put down her cell phone and cried to her pals," an observer tells PEOPLE. "The group looked very concerned and listened intently to what she was saying."
After the Chateau, Lohan went to Hyde Lounge, where she arrived around 12:30 a.m. and stayed until the hot spot closed at 2 a.m. She mingled with friends and didn't appear to be distraught: "She was having a blast," says one patron, "even with a broken hand."
If the past few months have been Lindsay taking it easy with the partying, I shudder to think what newly heartbroken and single Lindsay is going look like. Don't drown your sorrows in booze, girl, I'd really like to see you live to 25.
Speaking of Lohan, she's been losing all day at the Dead Eye-Off Finals, but it's not over yet. Seven hours left. Any win is a good win, right?
I'll be here all weekend, including the (totally thrilling) conclusion of the week-long First Ever MollyGood Dead Eye-Off.
Mostly though I'll be trying to get my brand new puppy to spaz less.
Kisses and Dirty Grey Goose Martinis in honor of Lins,
Molly
[Source]
Thankfully lil' broke wrist, Lindsay Lohan, is back in the arms of her man nurse, Harry Morton, where she belongs. Clearly the East Coast and its slippery floors are too much for the fragile bones of LiLo. Perhaps some milk would be in order? I shudder think of what will become of DJ Lohands. Tragedy.
[Source]
• Claire Danes is pumped about the Eiffel Tower, and her see-through shirt. [IDLYITW]
• While I wouldn't put it past Ryan Adams to be in two places at once, it sounds like Parker Posey likes her men scruffy, rocker, and high on the pot. [Jossip]
• I guess it's a no-go on the gay porn for Brad Pitt. [DListed]
• Grab boob while you can Harry Morton, cause it looks like your Lohappointment might be dunzo. [PopSugar]
• Brittany Murphy would really marry anyone these days. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Sounds like Marc Jacobs was the big winner at Fashion Week. [A Socialite's Life]
• Tyra Banks is a crappy friend. [Faded Youth]
• Lindsay and Harry know that the couple that wears aviators together stays together. [Faded Youth]
• Perhaps we should be impressed that Nicole Richie isn't falling down more stairs more often. [X17]
• Prepare to have the long weekend scared out of you: George Bush as a fairly convincing woman. [CityRag]
• To be fair, no one really nailed the joke gift that was Ellen and Portia's fender bender. [Junkiness]
• Victoria Beckham is officially pregnant. That, or David Beckham doesn't know how to speak Spanish. [Celebitchy]
• Celebrity Life is TransAm-fabulous, as demonstrated by Vince Vaughn and his basketball shorts. [DListed]
• Jennifer Aniston celebrates our not being able to see her toplessness anymore by lunching with Courtney Cox. Thrilling. [PopSugar]
• If only Jared Leto really was going through with a sex change operation. [OAN]
Lindsay Lohan is too cool for your VMAs, MTV, even though she is a totally legit singer/songwriter. Instead, Lindsay Lohan is off in Maui with Harry Morton, showing off her miraculous ability to stay pale as snow despite spending the entire summer soaking in the sun rays. I'd make some more snide remarks, but the picture of Harry thoughtfully caressing Lindsay's head speaks for itself, no vulgar caption necessary.
[Source]
Despite these photos of Lindsay Lohan and Harry Morton visiting Cartier before running off to Hawaii and rumors of wedding bells, Dina Lohan insists that her daughter is not (idiotically after only dating two months) engaged. Star reports:
Lindsay Lohan's manager-mom Dina tells Star exclusively that media reports claiming that Lindsay's boyfriend of two months, Harry Morton bought Lindsay an engagement ring Wednesday at Cartier in Beverly Hills are false. "It's absolutely not true," Dina tells Star's David Caplan. "They are not engaged. They're dating and it's moving along."
At least Harry is awesome enough to know when to throw in a good old-fashioned ass grab for the camera. I give it three months until these nookie birds are either engaged or involved in a nasty public break-up.
• Lohan's man Harry Morton on the Daily Show. American Hero, my friends. [DListed]
• Kate Beckinsale, looks like all that exercise (and cigarette smoking) pays off. [Egotastic]
• Hold up! Veneers Duff stole Paris Hilton's dog. [Teddy & Moo]
• Hollywood elite take out an ad pledging support for Israel. Oddly, Mel Gibson isn't included. [Celebitchy]
• Nick Lachey is auctioning off on eBay what's left of him. For real this time. After this, no more left of him. [A Socialite's Life]
• Tom Hanks' flack makes a swift recovery to avoid his Gibson moment. Yes, and we all totally believe his attentiveness to pedicab drivers' physique. [Page Six]
Here's the other one. More importantly, however, I must recant my statement about her donning a burlap sack, when in fact she is wearing an oversized sweater vest. Another important note on these photos is her inability to enter a car without flashing at least the shadow of crotch. (That doesn't even look to be a tiny sports car. Every single day women get in and out of sedans in sort skirts without giving away their precious gift, why can't she?)
Of course, it would be remiss not to mention that suspicious white stain on the front of her grandpa-dress, Harry's shit-eating grin, and her cigarette in hand. Methinks firecrotch may have just been gettin' there with Harry. At least that could explain her lack of an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.
[Source]
Harry Morton, Shmarry Morton, if that jackass doesn't want to go out one night that's not going to stop Lindsay Lohan from hitting the clubs by her lonesome. I gotta believe there's a seat molded to the shape of Lohan's ass at Hyde by now, as sister is there pretty much every single night. What makes last night special? Well, the glimpse of her bra that the lovely photogs caught as she waltzed out of the club, of course. People may be starting to forget why Lohan's famous, but never let it be said that she's hasn't given 110% (of her body) to keep herself in the public spectrum this summer.
[Source]
When Lindsay Lohan finally lands herself in the clink, she'll fit right in thanks to her rapidly growing tattoo collection. In addition to the "La Bella Vita" tat on her ass and "Breathe" ink on her wrist, Lindsay added a new masterpiece to the collection in the wee small hours of the morning the other day. Page Six reports:
The superstarlet got a tiny white heart between her thumb and index finger on her left hand during a 3 a.m. visit to a West Hollywood tattoo parlor last week. Lohan was accompanied by main squeeze Harry Morton, who got a cross tattoo on an unspecified part of his anatomy, and L.A. nightlife priestess Amanda Scheer-Demme during the late-night stop at Mark Mahoney's Shamrock Social Club, a staffer there told us.
It's just a hunch that the starlet had knocked back a few before going under the needle, but I thought it was un-ethical or even illegal to tattoo drunk people. If not, it certainly should be–I have a feeling that might be the only thing keeping Lohan from tatting on full white sleeves next time she has the desire for excruciating pain.
I know, I know, I posted picture of Lindsay Lohan in this bikini yesterdy, but that was before I saw what appears to be a nasty rug burn (or sheet burn, whatever) on her back. So other than the visible wine and cigarettes, little Lohan appears to be enjoying life's other simple pleasures. You better not break her heart, Harry Morton, because we all saw how quickly she deteriorated when Wilmer did that. According to todays Page Six, even Paris Hilton is driving Linds to the bedroom these days:
On Saturday, Hilton turned up at the Lia Sophia jewelry clambake at the Polaroid Beach House in Malibu, where her nemesis Lindsay Lohan was holding court with new squeeze Harry Morton. "Paris was hanging out with Brandon Davis, her sister Nicky and Bijou Phillips," reports our spy. "She made it a point to whisper and laugh very loudly the entire time, snickering behind Lindsay's back." Lohan, who battled bullies in her movie "Mean Girls," retreated with Morton to a back bedroom where they couldn't hear Hilton's malevolent cackle.
Git some, Lindsay, get some.
[Source]
Throwing up a little in my mouth is an understatement for this one. Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis? Say it ain't so. Okay, breathe, Molly, calm down. It's totally not happening. Even if Paris is playfully grabbing her friend's boob to get Elvis-tits all excited there's no way she lets that grease monkey inside her precious treasure, right? For once, I'd like to believe she meant that no sex for a year thing.
Meanwhile, across the beach house Lindsay Lohan herself frolicked with her new beau, Harry Morton. There was no girl-on-firecrotch-on-overweight-man confrontation, but I doubt it would be much to see. Who even remembers that? It was, like, a whole month ago.
It's almost like, no, couldn't be, but wait, it looks like it…Lindsay Lohan is genuinely smiling at this Prada event last night. She looks, dare I say it, happy. Sure, she's still scowling for many of the shots, but she's not even completely dead in the eyes. It's a Lohan miracle! Doing the nasty with this Harry Morton character may save her from keeling over this month yet.
A lesson to keep in mind while reading this story: It's about time people stop using Lindsay Lohan to promote children's products, movies or locations. She's constantly drunk, not to mention the myriad other drugs in her system at all times. She never asked to be a role model, please, finally, grant her that wish.
I thought I had Lindsay's long weekend birthday schedule completely filled in, but apparently I had no idea what she was doing at the beginning of last weekend. The shame. She spent last Friday night with some friends desecrating all that is sacred and pure about the Happiest Place on Earth, Disneyland. (Okay, the park has been filled with teens on drugs for years, but usually they're not special invited guests there for publicity stunts.) Let's just say some of the Cast Members (CMs) were less than pleased with her celebrity antics:
Lohan had a small gaggle of her friends along for the ride, and their limousines arrived at the Grand Californian Hotel just after 10pm on Friday. It was immediately apparent to the hotel Cast Members that the "party" had already begun in the limo ride down from LA, but the youngsters went ahead and coasted on a thick layer of LA attitude right into the California Adventure park (DCA) just as it was clearing of day visitors…
After midnight, Lohan and her party were escorted over to Disneyland as it was clearing of its day visitors. There, they found a half dozen E-Ticket attractions that were kept running for them compliments of Disney. Space Mountain, Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain and Thunder Mountain were all stops on the exclusive after-hours tour. And the CM's working those attractions were also concerned about the safety of some of the members of the party, as there was a definite whiff in the air as the increasingly rowdy group visibly stumbled into the loading area of each ride.
Between the obvious smell, rude behavior and the snotty attitude the entire party displayed, there were very few Lindsay Lohan fans working at Disneyland by the end of that night. At 1:30am, with Disneyland completely deserted, the birthday party was then loaded onto the Sailing Ship Columbia. As the ship cruised around a darkened Rivers of America with Mickey Mouse on board and catered desert being served by costumed pirates, the party took its most alarming turn as some party guests used the darkened ship to engage in very inappropriate behavior for the happiest place on earth.
Oooh, do I smell a little Mark Whalberg/Reese Witherspoon Fear action? I think I do. Lindsay and Harry Morton are quite the frisky little lovebirds. Wiiiiillllddd horses, couldn't drag his hands out of her firecrotch.
• Remember when Jude Law was supposed to be hot? Ugh, me neither. [DrunkenStepfather]
• This just in: Starlets love themselves some older men. Methinks Bob Barker just got a new lease on life. [Junkiness]
• Josh Harnett is worried about his girl Scarlett Johansson getting with Wilmer Valderamma. Ouch, Josh, very ouch. [PopSugar]
• Mysterious body-like shapes emerge underneath Nicole Richie's clothing. [VelvetHotTub]
• You're not a rock star, Jared Leto, just give up. [CityRag]
• Lindsay Lohan is keeping Harry Morton around longer than expected. Maybe he's even better with the Pink Taco than we thought. [A Socialite's Life]
Lindsay Lohan may not be ready to settle down, but it looks like she's found herself a man for the day, or the hour, or I think she is maybe already running away from him in the last picture here, but whatever, this dude should still be proud for getting her in the prone position for a little while. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, I now know that the man in question is Harry Morton President and CEO of Pink Taco Mexican Restaurants. Well played, Harry Morton President and CEO of Pink Taco Mexican Restaurants, well played…but she's already forgotten about you.
TMZ has some video of Lindsay dancing around and giving drinks to the paparazzi on this same afternoon. At one point she does a surprisingly high leg kick. She may not exude traditional athleticism (what with the smoking, and the boozehoundness), but she's still got a youthful litheness about her and lord knows she has to keep her bod in fighting shape if she wants to keep partying like a rock star.
Editor
