Oftentimes, paparazzi photos say less about their subjects than they do about the paparazzi themselves: they are hurried, ugly and bad. But occasionally – almost certainly by accident – they're wonderful, and just looking at them will not do. It is then that we ask you to bare your wits and proffer a headline worthy of the rare picture. Enjoy.
The winning entries of the last Headline on Your Shoulders are after the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is extremely infrequent and, because of this, a winner wasn't announced for the last one, nor will it be. However, a winner will be announced this round. We promise. So take your best shot, because the photo is too good to only let the few here at Jossip have at it. If you're unsure what "it" is, it's First Lady Laura Bush among a breast cancer awareness group in the United Arab Emirates. It's a good cause, but the photo sure does look like these last seven years have felt. Good luck.
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This hasn't happened in quite a while (and don't expect it again anytime soon), but because any joke we could muster regarding this photo would be far too easy – or far too urinary – we've decided to leave it up to you. Have at it with your cracking wise. And, difficult as it is, try to avoid the piss stuff.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
Today's Headline on Your Shoulders winner is whatev:
DiCaprio replies, “It isn’t easy being green.”
Nicely done, whatev.
More after the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
Today's winner of Headline on Your Shoulders is Danielle:
Britney planning mega-comeback, McDonald's asks, “Do you believe in magic?”
Kudos to Danielle for remembering that McDonald's has a history of annoying and inaccurate ad campaigns.
New HOYS after the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
Today's Headline on Your Shoulders winner is hundamah:
9 out of 10 auctioneers agree: prurient interest is still interest
Well done, hundamah.
New HOYS after the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
Today's HOYS winner is Crick:
To Attend Falwell Funeral, Tinky Winky Shops for New Purse
Good job, Crick. I'm sure all the gay, fictional, children's-show-related aliens are in mourning.
More following the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
Today's Headline on Your Shoulders winner is cinekat:
Oprah’s “good white folks” miffed, bad ones continue mockery
Nice ones, folks.
New HOYS after the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
The winner of today's Headline on Your Shoulders is noonespecial who wittily found a way to use the word "faggot" in an inoffensive manner:
Rosie to Ellen: Straight Talk Aside, I ‘Faggot’ That Episode
Amazing work, noonespecial.
New HOYS is after the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
Today's Headline on Your Shoulders winner is kwyjibeau:
Prince’s Scent Sells Better than Xpected; Naysayers Forced to Eat Their Raspberry Berets
Excellent work!
New HOYS after the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
Today's Headline on Your Shoulders winner is Dexter Street Lefty, with a very well used double entendre:
Davis Declares Flawed Sentence
Nicely done, Dexter, and without a single fat joke. That was impressive.
New HOYS is under the jump.
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What a day for Headline on Your Shoulders! I think it's safe to say that yesterday's were some of the best entries yet, encompassing everything from Biblical references to blow-job jokes (tastefully done).
It was close, but today's winner is bedbugsandballyhoo:
Judge’s Ruling Incites (Hypo)-Critical Mass
Very, very good work.
New HOYS is under here.
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The site is changed but the wit brought to Headline on Your Shoulders, apparently, remains the same. Really great entries, all.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I had to google "hirudinea" before choosing Lisa #1 as today's winner:
Popular Hirudinea Proven to be More of a Sponge
Very nice! By the way, a "hirudinea" is a leech).
New HOYS is after this jump.
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Due to a rather rambling argument that took place mid thread, the Headline on Your Shoulders response on Friday was a bit stunted. Nevertheless, there were several good entries, the best of which came from Celebrity Hack:
$10 Million is a Small Price to Pay When Compensating for Erectile Dysfunction
Cheers, CH!
New HOYS is after this jump.
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'Twas a healthy round of Headline on Your Shoulders, and everyone followed the rules and avoided prison rape jokes (too easy and violent). The only questionable entry was someone who called Paris Hilton "irreverent," but I'm going to grant some leeway and assume they meant "irrelevant."
Today's winner is CDD:
Mollygood readers dare her to try her "n*gger/f*ggot" spewing and mocking of poor people while in jail
While CDD went with more of paragraph than a headline, it wins simply because the thought of Paris screaming "nigger" in a LA County prison was too good to ignore, especially with statistics on our side.
New HOYS after this jump.
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Yesterday's smoke-filled Headline on Your Shoulders was funnier than every Cheech and Chong movie put together. That's not saying much, because those movies are god-awful, but know that wit was at a high (har, har, har).
Today's winner is shaine:
Mom, America Agree on Sanjaya: Puff, Puff . . . Pass.
Nicely done!
New HOYS is after the jump.
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Yesterday's Headline on Your Shoulders marked the first instance of a Someone Haiku crossover. They were good entries, but unacceptable for HOYS. Sorry.
Also, as per readers' suggestions, the HOYS winner's headline will run above the photo it references the next day.
Today's winner is Kimberly:
O'Donnell quits, The View lowers the Barr
Excellent entry, Kimberly.
New HOYS is just beyond the jump.
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Headline on Your Shoulders was fantastic yesterday, not only because it was peppered with the wry wit we've all come to expect, but also because I think this may be the first time a winning entry scored a full 10 out of 10 points. Here it is, courtesy of Cheryl:
Next Thing You Know He'll Be Telling Us About His Guy-necologist.
Dare I say, the perfect headline? Damn fine work, Cheryl
New HOYS is after the jump.
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