Some interesting stuff actually happened on The Hills last night, which is a shame because everything was overshadowed by Heidi and Spencer's Wedding of the Century. On the show, Audrina found out that Lauren and Justin Bobby may or may not have hooked up (we're going to go with "no way in hell"), which led to lots of tears in the middle of public places. But the real talk of the night — at least on the series' aftershow — revolved around the Speidi marriage.
Holly Montag, sister of Heidi and roommate of Lauren, took to the talk show to discuss the idiocy of the wedding and appear genuinely sad. She acted like a sister should, claiming she would always love Heidi regardless of her stupid, stupid actions — but visibly teared up when discovering that the couple actually married days ago. Sucks finding out along with the rest of the Us Weekly crowd, huh?
THIS CAN ONLY END WELL • Hills loser Heidi Montag on her mother's reaction to the Speidi elopement: "I called her right before the ceremony, sort of hinted that something that happened, but her reaction was to ask me if we were breaking up! I told her it might be something else, and she said, 'Well, if you ever plan on getting married just know that your stepdad is really upset that you want your father to walk you down the aisle.' She was starting so much drama, it kind of pushed me toward wanting to get married without that. I don't know when I'll tell her."
Worried about overeating this Thanksgiving? Us Weekly has you covered — the magazine just scored an EXCLUSIVE!!! cover story on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's surprise nuptials, set to hit stands later this week. Yeah, you read that right. Speidi finally got married, putting an end to their months-long fake engagement. Heidi says she "couldn't stop crying" the minute they said their vows in a secret ceremony in Mexico. There were reportedly no guests in attendance, because the couple makes everyone — even family members — ill with just one publicity-inspired kiss.
And, in case you were wondering, the gays still can't tie the knot because it will ruin the sanctity of marriage.
[Source]
Yeah, I'm still watching The Hills. Despite telling everyone it's for work, I know I am completely addicted. It gets worse — and less realistic — by the episode, which sends me into a blind rage in which I am forced to remind myself that my time would be better spent watching milk curdle, but I always come back for more.
So on last night's episode, Heidi's sister Holly (whom Spencer kicked out of the couple's apartment) decided to crash at Lauren and Lo's house after Audrina moved out. Shocking, right? Except a few of our genius readers totally predicted it. But I couldn't even let my mind shut off during the episode because I was so damn confused by the timeline. CONTINUED »
Good news, everyone! The Hills is coming back for a fifth season! Audrina Patridge confirmed the information to People, and if you're not sold on even more episodes of the "reality" show, just listen to her riveting argument:
At one point, all of us were like, 'No, we don't want to do another season.' I wanted to do more movies, and Whitney moved to New York and she's doing her own spin-off. … We have fun with each other and we've stuck it out this long. We might as well do another one.
Look, nobody loves The Hills more than I do, but even I can admit that it's time to throw in the towel. Nobody cares anymore and the girls are clearly starting to hate each other. This is only going to end badly.
[Source]
MTV interviewed Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag to learn their thoughts on Prop 8 and gay marriage. Finally! We've been asking ourselves all along: "But what about Speidi? We need to know how they feel about this issue." Here's Spencer's eloquent answer:
Like I've always said: Heidi's hair and makeup people are some of my favorite homosexuals on the planet, and if they want to marry each other, I'm not about to be like, 'Don't.'
Way to go, loser. You managed to make a decent opinion into something absurd and offensive, all in one measly sentence. That's inspiring.
Because the shark has already been jumped in the case of How I Met Your Mother, the producers obviously decided to just throw in the towel and invite as many famewhore guest stars as possible to seal the deal. The latest loser to join the bunch? Kendra Wilkinson.
The former changer of Hugh Hefner's diapers will appear as a magazine cover-version of herself in the same ill-fated episode alongside Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag and Kim Kardashian.
We're going to start up a collection for CBS — obviously the network is out of its mind and needs all the help it can get, monetary or otherwise.
[Source]
In a ballsy move that surely signals the beginning of the end of How I Met Your Mother, Kim Kardashian has been recruited by the shows producers to appear alongside Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in an upcoming episode.
The ep, tentatively called "Benefits," is about Marshall's (Jason Segel) inability to poop at work.
I'm told Marshall carries a copy of Them Weekly with him when he's heading to the bathroom. Kim, Heidi, Spencer and lord knows which other tabloid faves will speak to Marshall from the cover of Them in a dream sequence. They presumably pop up to mock and laugh and make Marshall feel generally silly.
Sounds like a nightmare. Not just the episode plot — this whole publicity stunt. We cry for you, HIMYM.
[Source]
It wasn't a joke: Hills cancers Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are heading to a real TV channel and guest starring on How I Met Your Mother. Seriously! CBS even admitted it:
We can confirm that Heidi and Spencer will appear on the show, but we can't give away anything specific about the episode. … They will be playing magazine cover-versions of themselves as Marshall (Jason Segel) desperately searches for a place to 'read a magazine' while at the office. Montag and Pratt will taunt and tease Marshall from the confines of his current copy of Them Weekly.
Naturally, Spencer had to respond in a douchey way about their episode, set to air in January: "I don’t want to give anything away…but I'm the Mother." Tool.
[Source]
The great thing about all these Real Housewives series is that every city is home to a different breed of women. The Orange County ladies are botoxed and over-tanned into an orange oblivion, the New York City women are sophisticated and pretentious beyond belief — but the Atlanta housewives are truly glorious specimens to behold.
In the clip above, meet one of the delusional stars, Kim (not Anderson Cooper's favorite, NeNe, unfortunately), who genuinely thinks she is meant to be a professional singer. We can't say much more than that — just watch the scene and cover your ears.
America's national nightmare, the smarmy duo of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, is quickly scrambling for jobs now that it looks like The Hills has reached its end. And, unfortunately, it doesn't look like this is going to end well:
A reliable source says one of TV's more consistently funny sitcoms — one also prone to stunt casting (see Spears, Britney) — is close to granting their wish.
Supposedly, Heidi Montag and her manager/fiance are angling to guest star in an upcoming How I Met Your Mother episode, which would likely air in December.
This is a joke, right? Please, please, please someone tell us this is a joke.
[Source]
It's now time for another break from politics (yes, even on Election Day) to discuss something far more important: The Hills. For all five of you who watched last night, you witnessed Heidi Montag drinking excessively on the job and later getting fired. It was a beautiful moment — or it would have been, if any of it were authentic.
Look, I'm not asking for much here. I get that most of the conversations are rehashing things that already happened, thus not exactly being true to real life, but this whole deal about Heidi's "job" at Bolthouse has been a complete sham from the very begining. I read an interview with a producer once about how the show would take a completely different direction if they showed the girls' "famous" lives — Lauren designing her clothing line, the girls making club appearances, Heidi "singing" — but it's hard to be invested in something you know is completely and utterly fake.
Why not just not show Heidi working (heck, that's what they do with Spencer)? Or, better yet, why not just write those two losers off the show? Actually — and trust me, it pains me to say this — it's probably time to pack it up and call it a day with The Hills. It's reached a point where the girls' celebrity status is making it impossible for the show to bear any semblance of a real life. It makes watching the show feel more like a chore than entertainment, and that's never a good thing.
See you in the unemployment line, Heidi. Be sure to call the paps.
John McCain's last-ditch effort to garner support from undecided voters was successful on the humor front, but we won't know until tomorrow if it won over enough Americans to get him elected to the White House. He was a good sport, appearing alongside Tina Fey's Sarah Palin and making fun of his own campaign, even admitting the only celebrity endorsements he has are Jon Voight and "Heidi from The Hills." Granted, celebrity endorsements shouldn't matter, but knowing he has a nitwit like Heidi on his side surely won't help.
Stuck without a Halloween costume to wear tonight? Don't panic — we have seven fool-proof ideas to impress your friends and guarantee you extra candy (or at least a few concerned looks), all inspired by some of our favorite celebrities. They're not exactly scary in the traditional sense, but these costumes are frightening nonetheless. Don't say we never do anything for you.
When you're done, feel free to guess what Whitney will be dressing up as for Halloween (Cord accidentally revealed his costume already). Winner gets a free Internet hug and pride.
• Sarah Jessica Parker does her civic duty and frightens others into voting for Barack Obama.[ICYDK]
• Mariah Carey actually looks like a more respectable citizen on Halloween than she does any other day. [DListed]
• Beyonce — excuse us, "Sasha Fierce" — is becoming increasingly more annoying by the day. [Yeeeah]
• Why do people still insist on using the word "maverick"? [INO]
• Suri Cruise is slowly turning into Katie Holmes, who is slowly turning into Tom Cruise. [PS]
• You can dress them up, but Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are still the most annoying couple of all time. [HT]
[Source]
Reality TV losers Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag continued in their quest to make all Americans proud last night at a Hollywood art gallery. The "Lights! Camera! Election!" event was sponsored by a vodka company, which may explain why the tools got drunk and forgot that the presidential race was not all about them.
Congratulations, Speidi: You finally found something more disturbing than a McCain/Palin presidency.
[Source]
America's favorite nightmares, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, paraded around LA Wednesday to scare people into voting for Barack Obama.
Spencer wore the glorious shirt you see at left while Heidi sported a tiny tank top that read, "Read My Lipstick: Vote McCain-Palin." Read my lipstick: No.
Props were also involved: A shotgun, a bottle of beer and a copy of You Can Profit From a Monetary Crisis. Somehow, we imagine this is not helping.
[Source]
Despite the fact that Hills alum Whitney Port scored her own reality TV spin-off, The City, the NYC paparazzi are still unsure as to who exactly this girl is. Behold the WireImage description of Whit at Us Weekly's Hot Hollywood party, who is identified as "Guest," while her lesser known co-star, Olivia Palermo, was easily named. This can not bode well for the budding fashionista, especially during a time when both Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt can be picked out of a crowd by most Americans.
Other stars deemed "hot" by the tabloid included the High School Musical kiddos, a few Gossip Girls (and boys), America's Next Top Tranny Model Jaslene, some Ugly Bettys and Patti LaBelle. Sounds a little lukewarm to us.
Click through for photos.
Editor
