STORY TIME "Helen Mirren makes some startling revelations — she was date raped more than once and has tried several illegal drugs — in a revealing new interview with the British edition of GQ."
Chinese import Bai Ling says her recent arrest in a Los Angeles airport for shoplifting was just a misunderstanding. According to the exotic powder keg, she didn't mean to steal $16 worth of batteries and magazines, it just looked like she did when she picked them up and walked out of a store with them while using her cell phone. "Then the police come. All the lights," Ling told PageSix.com, sounding like a caricature, "And they took me. I had no intention to take." The DA agreed with Ling's version and reduced her charge to an infraction, the consequence for which is a $250 fine.
It has nevertheless been a trying time for BLing. Thankfully, matronly Englishwoman Helen Mirren helped her young friend cope with the pain of this damnable shoplifting mix-up while on the set of their new film, Love Ranch: "Helen Mirren just came to me, and held my hand, she said, 'Bai Ling, we understand. Use this for the film.'"
In Love Ranch, Ling plays a top-earning prostitute.
While fashion and its inculcation of laughable "principles" has long been a thorn in Mollygood's side (which is draped in rags, mind you), the site would like to announce that it wholeheartedly endorses the demure, neo-mummy look displayed here by the radiant Jennifer Connelly and the gravity-defying Helen Mirren. Brava!
Dame Helen Mirren claims to hate childbirth because of a "disgusting" video she saw in grade school. Coincidentally, she also hates her mother, but she sees no correlation between the two.
To this day she can remember it - the whirring of the projector and a close-up of a woman having a baby.
Dame Helen said: "I swear it traumatised me to this day. I haven't had children and now I can't look at anything to do with childbirth. It absolutely disgusts me."
Last evening marked the 59th Annual Emmy Awards (which I've heard were unyieldingly boring). Although they remain one of the least merit-based awards in history, the Emmys are one of the sharpest, and that should count for something.
After the jump, the gowns! Oh, the gowns!
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Hey, Abigail Breslin, couldja be any cuter? I don't think everyone in the whole world wants to hug you and giggle yet. And Nicole Kidman, couldja stop being creepy and staring deeply at little girls who aren't even paying attention to you?
As you probably know, last night was the Oscars; the perennial opportunity to acknowledge with trophies films that have already been acknowledged with large scale critical acclaim, audience approval and millions of dollars.
There were shockers (Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar?) and gimmes (Scorsese woulda hung himself) and a slight cringe when you realized that there must have been a conscious decision to exclude Anna Nicole from the "In Memoriam" montage (no love for Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult, Academy?)
And, of course, the red carpet throbbed with couture. Here's my picks for the best. Keep in mind that I don't know anything about fashion. I just know what I believe to be good which, now that I think about it, is kinda knowing at least a little bit. And, with this guy considered as an expert on the subject, I would actually prefer to not know a lot. Not sharing interests and knowledge with Cojo is something I strive for.
Best dressed probably goes to Jennifer Hudson, just because it looks like her gown had pockets and function is important and refreshing.
And Ryan Gosling's just included because he brought his mom and sister and I thought that was nice.
PS That Japanese girl from Babel, Rinko Kikuchi, wins for unexpected stunner of the night.
PPS Helen Mirren looks good "for her age", huh?
Bad Boy Records Founder and part-time Proactiv Solution spokesmodel Diddy got denied from the Sunset Tower Hotel's post-Golden Globes party. Moments later, the counterintuitive babe of the night Helen Mirren showed up and dipped past security without issue. OHHHHHH! IN YOUR PROACTIV REVITALIZING TONER DRENCHED FACE, DIDDY! Video footage of the snub is here, but here's the description in case you can't watch it:
It happened last night at the Sunset Tower Hotel. Diddy arrived at the party, but met with resistance. He got into a pretty heated conversation with a guy who looked like the head of security for the hotel. Several uniformed guards stood by as Diddy haggled with security and talked on his phone. How many times do you think he said, "Do you know who I am?"
About five minutes after Diddy arrived, Mirren, who won two Globes earlier in the evening, was greeted with open arms by the same security guard who stiff-armed Diddy. Mirren was then ushered in — right past him!! Sometimes, it's good to be "The Queen."
So, once, a girl from my high school got too drunk at a really fun party and shat herself in front of everyone. Kids started going CRAZY; laughing and calling people who weren't there to tell them what happened. All the cackling became this really cruel, juvenile death knell for a girl's social life. It was brutal. I think that's what it's like to get denied at a door these days. Everyone's pointing and taking pictures with their phones and you're just standing there with a hot face. It's probably even worse when you're in a damn look-at-me suit and sunglasses. Sorry, Diddy. You need to come back to New York and reevaluate things. You can do this. Who knows, maybe it's time for another name change?
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