• Hilary Swank does a pretty spot-on Ellen DeGeneres impression. [ICYDK]
• Gerard Butler left Kate Hudson's Halloween party with two "sexy" vampires. Ugh. [INO]
• Mariah Carey's new music video could put toddlers to sleep in 5 seconds flat. [DListed]
• Cindy Crawford makes a great Amy Winehouse. [Yeeeah]
• Halle Berry's new haircut. Alert the media! [PS]
• Hugh Hefner's former Top Bunny before she made it big (pun intended). [HT]
SWANK HOSPITALIZED "Hilary Swank is recuperating after undergoing a minor medical procedure at the hospital. … The Oscar-winning actress, 34, was 'experiencing some discomfort and went to see her doctor, who prescribed an immediate course of action that included a brief hospitalization to remove a small, benign growth,' manager Jason Weinberg says."
OUT WITH THE 40-YEAR-OLD… "[Lindsay Lohan]'s being dropped as the face of fashion label Jill Stuart and replaced by older horsey-faced actress Hilary Swank. … Apparently poor Lindsay doesn't have the right image for the brand, after her previous DUI conviction, allegedly being in possession of cocaine, getting her breasts out and, let's not forget, appearing in I Know Who Killed Me."
We hear word that some oddly popular event happened last night in Los Angeles. We're not really sure what it was all about, but we've got pictures of some of the self-congratulatory, insular men and women in attendance after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• Artiste! (Fast forward to 2'25".) [DListed]
• Shocking headlines to shock you into 2008. [PS]
• "Tara Reid’s Hotness Comeback Continues…" It can't come back if it was never here. [HT]
• All of them are overpaid, but who's overpaid the most? [ICYDK]
• Hilary Swank can be seen holding a lion cub here. [INO]
• TMI, French model! [Yeeeah]
• "No man can fight time. Not even Rocky." [CityRag]
Of course, not everyone has the luxury of being able to step over Fashion Week as if it were an errant mess on a city sidewalk. Occasionally, notable people are present for – and even active participants in – the clamorous, glamorous hubbub. To these precious few we briefly offer our attention and pity.
Are they discussing why that sexy, mature woman is still with human Pez dispenser Ashton Kutcher? Perhaps Hilary's asking her where she thinks Demi keeps the Oscar she got for Striptease, to be followed with, "Just fuckin' with you!" You decide, after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• Troop Beverly Hills! [BWE]
• Miss South Carolina nails it the second time! It only took her 48 hours to construct two cohesive sentences. [DListed]
• Hairy arms aren't a big deal. Seriously. Don't wax your arms, ladies. [HT]
• Now not even her kinfolk like her. [ICYDK]
• Where are the Hilary Swank anorexia rumors? (Did I just start them?) [DS]
• Yeah, it's gross, but I guarantee she's had a lot grosser stuff on her face and in her mouth. [Yeeeah]
• Naomi Campbell showing off all her fruit. (That's a euphemism.) [CityRag]
Fans of practical jokes, flailing limbs and irritating enthusiasm will be upset to hear that this season of Punk'd will be its last.
This isn't the first time such an announcement has been made. In December 2003, following the show's second cycle, executive producer
Ashton Kutcher said he was pulling the plug. Speculation immediately arose that it was a ploy to lower the guard of celebrity targets; indeed, "Punk'd" returned in April 2004.However, MTV Networks Music Group entertainment president Brian Graden said Monday that the show is officially finished this time, but that there might be future collaborations with Kutcher on other projects.
This season, Punk'd victims will include Hilary Swank, Nelly Furtado and Magic Johnson.
Following the success of the SNL sketch embedded above, Punk'd producers have promised that the show now slants toward "edgier" comedy. This new direction is perhaps most obvious when, in the opening episode, Magic Johnson discovers Ashton's band of merry pranksters have replaced his antiviral regimen with Smarties. Punk'd!
[Source]
Today in Hollywood, Freedom Writer Hilary Swank got a star on the Walk of Fame. Don't worry, she definitely cried and reminded everyone that she used to be poor:
"I remember my mom using a roll of quarters to call agents from a pay phone and telling agents they should sign me," said the emotional 32-year-old during the dedication ceremony.
In case you don't know, a star on the Walk of Fame is a huge honor granted only to real heavyweights who have made significant contributions to the betterment of the "industry." Seriously, once on the walk of fame, literally millions of people will walk past, spit on and occasionally glance at a celebrity's name for years to come.
Along with good vibes, Swank also got a cool plaque to commemorate the day. When asked where she should hang the plaque, Chade Lowe said, "How about next to her two Oscars and her fucking high horse?," before chugging whiskey straight from the bottle.
[Source]
• Party water. It's what all the underage kids are drinking these days. [BWE]
• Not Ugly Betty. [PopSugar]
• Nick Lachey isn't ready to marry Vanessa Minnillo yet. Perhaps they should do a reality TV show first? Just to work all the kinks out, ya know. [A Socialite's Life]
• Hilary Swank leaves the heavy bangs at home and does Bellingham proud. [INO]
• Ew, was Brandon Davis kind of hot at one point? I need to go punish myself for thinking that. [CityRag]
• Obviously, Lohan would be next in line to ride the Travis Barker train. [WWTDD]
• McConaughey loves a good dry rub. [Junkiness]
I successfully avoided Grey's Anatomy for 2 years, but recently I broke and shamefully bought/watched it on iTunes. I will remain vague on number of episodes over elapsed time because it's embarrassing. Hello, Self Loathing. Meanwhile, outside of Seattle Grace, Patrick Dempsey was looking good while celebrating the premiere of Freedom Writers, starring Hilary Swank and himself. Courtney Love and Billy Corgan (from the Smashing Pumpkins) were keeping it random, but at least she wasn't out clubbing with any 19-year-olds.
[Source]
• Angelina may have three kids, but we all know Maddox is the only one who's any fun. [DListed]
• Kirstie Alley stayed true to her promise to wear a bikini on Oprah. Golf claps. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Joshua Jackson is willing to get behind Lindsay Lohan, but probably because he likes to look at her ass. [PopSugar]
• Celebrities innermost secrets, revealed. [BWE]
• Anna Nicole Smith is worried that her son won't bond with his stepfather…in heaven. [Junkiness]
• Ah, and I forgot to mention, Neil Patrick Harris came out. He's happy, now leave him alone about it. [Celebitchy]
• Pete Doherty is a drug free model. At least that's what his shirt would have you believe. [Agent Bedhead]
• Hilary Swank was injured in a freak striptease accident. [Yeeeah]
• Ludacris has a large entourage. [The Evil Beet]
• Jessica Simpson has good taste in music. How ironic. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Schweeeet socks, Hilary Swank. [ICYDK]
• Mel Gibson's gorefest Apocalypto totally needs some Zach Braffication. [BWE]
• But do they polygraph Paris when she calls in with gossip about herself? [Jossip]
• 50 Cent is mad at Oprah for not inviting him onto her show. He also heard that she gave a friendship bracelet to Nas and invited Diddy for a sleepover. [Junkiness]
• Jennifer Garner looks hot, for Africa of course. [PopSugar]
• Purses. Celebrity Purses. Purses you cannot afford. [CityRag]
• Is Tara Reid the ghost of Christmas Future for Lindsay Lohan? [A Socialite's Life]
• Meet Carson Daly's personal low point. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan's not posing, she just loves to box with side boob faced towards the paparazzi. [WWTDD]
• After five days of breath-holding, Rob Schnieder finally comes out with a statement on the Melgate. [BWE]
• I'm not sure I would let Jim Carey near my precious hair with scissors. [CityRag]
• Never let it be said that Ryan Adams doesn't defend his ladyfolk, and write hundreds of songs about them. Hourly. [Jossip]
• No matter how many flowers her dress may have on it, Hilary Swank will never be dainty. [Teddy and Moo]
• Scarlett Johansson beats the heat with ice cream, dressing for a bygone era. [JustJared]
• Jessica Simpson figured out that she needed to leave Nick through the words of Patty Griffith, and the penis of Johnny Knoxville. [HotMommaDrama]
• At the rate she's growing, Lindsay Lohan's gonna need a lot more support, ya know, up top. [WWTDD]
• Madonna might be leaving Kaballah. Wait, she didn't make that shit up? [DListed]
• With the record-breaking success of Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp proves that we love ourselves a quirky, faux-French recluse, as long as he's not afraid of eye make-up. [A Socialite's Life]
• Not only is Rosario Dawson an adorable nerd with her new comic book, but oh how it excites her. [Teddy and Moo]
• Holy Steve Tyler Lips, Liv Tyler's son. [PopSugar]
• Hilary Swank may be Lil Miss Perfect Actress, but she's not above selling out her husband to land a cover. [Jossip]
• Kate Hudson in a bikini, 200% more entertaining than You, Me and Dupree will be. [Egotastic]
• If Paris Hilton stays celibate for a year, I will shave my head or really anything else you'd like to see me do. [Celebitchy]
• Jessica Alba in a bikini ain't what it used to be. Still hot, but plus heinous hippie skirt and a few too many obvious ribs. [Hollywood Tuna]
• DrunkenStepfather takes his Lohan stalking to a voicemail-leaving level, probably has been arrested by now. [DrunkenStepfather]
• Pamela Anderson knows what the paparazzi wants to see her in, and is happy to oblige. [DListed]
• It may not be a bikini, but how often do you get to see Uma Thurman in a bathing suit at all? [Egotastic]
• The real reason behind Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe's breakup: her career…and I guess his substance abuse. [Celebitchy]
• So close to a Mischa Barton ass-showing, yet so far away. [PopSugar]
• Farewell Miu Von Furstenberg, we hardly knew you. [A Socialite's Life]
Editor
