Columnist, author and drinker Christopher Hitchens says a Hillary Clinton appointment to the Obama Cabinet would be a "ludicrous embarrassment for the President and for the country." Among other things, Hitchens notes that Hillary Clinton's race-baiting during her campaign for the Democratic nomination — "Senator Obama’s support among … hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again…" — makes her unfit to serve with America's first half-black president.
HILLARY THE NEW CONDOLEEZZA? • "We may soon be calling Hillary Rodham Clinton 'Madame Secretary.' The New York senator and former first lady is being considered for secretary of state by President-elect Barack Obama - an appointment that would go a long way toward healing the wounds left by their bruising Democratic primary battle. Two Obama advisers confirmed Clinton is under serious consideration, according to NBC News' Andrea Mitchell."
The Obama family has already been given delightfully awesome nicknames, and by "nicknames" I mean code terms the Secret Service uses to refer to members of the family, although since this is already leaked on the Internet it's not so much a "code" now and just more of an "awesome nickname," so my original point stands.
Anyway, all the Obamas have names now beginning with the letter R, and they are way better than those of the Clinton family, who were referred to as Eagle (Bill) and Evergreen (Hillary), or the Bush family which was Tumbler (George W.), Tempo (Laura) and Sheepskin (George Sr.).
If you guys ever want to use your ham radios to listen in to your Secret Service station, get ready for President-Elect Renegade.
A letter, dear readers, from the front lines of Election Day.
Commenter sar, who voted deep in the heart of liberalism (Alabama), shares her experience, which included grumpy shouting and church. Wheeeeeeeee!
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The greatest thing about seeing Barack Obama and John McCain roast each other at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Dinner, an annual fundraiser in honor of the first Roman Catholic to run for president, isn't the speeches themselves, though they are decent (even McCain's!). The best part is watching how quickly partisanship goes out the window in front of Manhattan's wealthiest plutocrats/donors. Politics is so screwy and sad.
Click through for the roasts.
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There's the political cesspool that is Washington, D.C., and then 100 miles away is the real melting pot of intelligent minds in The Middle of Nowhere, Virginia. Lovely reader Ruby Jackson snapped these shots in the area and passed them along to us as a morning boost. Who are these people and why are they allowed to breed?
Says Ruby:
I was recently in semi-rural Virginia, about 100 miles outside DC near Luray, and saw this display in front of a farm. Not sure what the significance of the rocks are, but it was disturbing, as well as typical sentiment for that area. Enjoy!
Last night, the increasingly insufferable Bill Clinton guested on David Letterman's Late Show, where he reminded everyone that his wife was also a good presidential candidate before complimenting Barack Obama – "the other way" in Bubba-speak – in the most backhanded ways possible.
Letterman didn't call Bill on his bullshit at all, which is unfortunate, but that's what made it extra satisfying when Chris Rock did.
Click through to watch Letterman squirm with the knowledge that Clinton and his people are backstage hearing every word of Rock's roast.
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In response to Tina Fey's genius Sarah Palin impression on this weekend's Saturday Night Live (at right), McCain spokeswoman Carly Fiorina called Fey's portrayal "sexist" and "disrespectful." You know what? That's totally fair, because SNL never makes fun of any other political candidate. Oh wait…
Fiorina went on to say that "just because Sarah Palin has different views than Hillary Clinton does not mean that she lacks substance." Fair enough — so why haven't we seen it? The election is in six weeks, Carly. Time's a wastin'. Instead of calling a female comedian "sexist" when she very obviously is not, let's chat about that "substance."
YOU CAN PUT LIPSTICK ON A BULLSHIT PLAY AT VICTIM, BUT… "Sen. Barack Obama's reference to 'lipstick on a pig' has Republicans demanding an apology … McCain's campaign said Obama's remarks were offensive and a slap at Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin — despite the fact that the Arizona senator himself used the phrase last year to describe a policy proposal of Hillary Clinton's. … In Iowa last October, McCain drew comparisons between Hillary Clinton's current health care plan and the one she championed in 1993: 'I think they put some lipstick on the pig, but it's still a pig.' He used roughly the same line in May, after effectively claiming the Republican nomination." (emphasis ours)
Vociferous leftist lady Susan Sarandon was recently asked in an interview with The Advocate if she would play Democrat dropout Hillary Clinton in a movie about the Senator's life. As you might imagine, the answer was no, but, oh, it was so much more, also!
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SURPRISE: MAINSTREAM MEDIA UNDERHANDED! "'Hillary Rodham Clinton is still seething about losing the nomination.' 'Michelle Obama doesn’t like her country and is an angry black woman.' 'Bill Clinton continues to dis Barack Obama privately.' While hardly definitive, that’s some of the undercurrents swirling in much of the news coverage — particularly television news, some say — at the Democratic National Convention. 'I’m just amazed at the negative coverage, all the negative innuendo of things that do not exist,' former Clinton adviser Terry McAuliffe told Daily Variety. 'It’s all press invention.' … A veteran network producer said she has been 'mesmerized by the negative coverage. It’s unbelievable.'"
Is Joe Biden, senior Delaware senator and seemingly cool dude, going to be Barack Obama's choice for running mate today? Maybe. Biden would be a good pick and he's said he'd accept the position were it offered to him.
But who knows; our political process is one of the shadiest, most ridiculous things in the world, and it's riddled with weird decisions. Perhaps the position will be offered to Hillary Clinton, or Virgina governor Tim Kaine. Or perhaps it will be offered to me. I've got all these great loafers; it'd be a shame to see them go to waste.
Well, it took more than a decade, but all the unrelenting media bullying and sharp disappointments have combined to make Senator Hillary Clinton forget she's a hyper-accomplished head of state whose work speaks volumes about her merit. The former presidential candidate has finally paid someone to inject shit into her face in hopes of looking prettier.
A source tells us Clinton visited a New York plastic surgeon early this month and received injections of a "dermafiller" in her face. The senator had appeared tired and wrinkly on a June 23 New York mag cover, but when she made her first solo campaign stop beside Barack Obama in Nevada on Aug. 8, she looked refreshed. After seeing a recent photo of Hillary, Dr. Tahl Humes of Vitahl Medical told us, "It appears that she has restored a youthful look with a combination of injectables."
I wonder if "injectables" would have been covered under Clinton's universal health plan.
Many of you have probably seen the original Baracky, for which someone with video-editing software and a lot of time on their hands recast Rocky with Barack Obama as the title character and Hillary Clinton as Apollo Creed. Now they've returned with Baracky II (made from Rocky III footage). Baracky's back, this time with Hillary/Apollo as his friend and training buddy and John McCain as a blustery, foul-tempered, and ineffectual Mr. T. Not sure if the movie accurately describes the complicated relationship between Hillary and Barack, but whatever. Happy Friday!
(Click through for video.)
John Edwards released a statement after admitting to cheating on his cancer-ridden wife back in 2006. You can read the entire transcript here, but most of it says what you'd expect: It was only for a short time and he's not the father of any baby — and he's willing to take the tests to prove it. He goes on:
It is inadequate to say to the people who believed in me that I am sorry, as it is inadequate to say to the people who love me that I am sorry. In the course of several campaigns, I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic. If you want to beat me up feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help.
It's a good thing he really had no chance against Barack or Hillary, or else the Democratic party would really be in trouble.
BLACK REPUBLICANS DISSED YET AGAIN "TV One, the cable network aimed at African-American viewers, will cover Barack Obama's nominating convention but is ignoring John McCain's. The network is telecasting live, prime-time coverage of the Democratic convention in Denver Aug. 25-28, followed by 'TV One Live: DNC Afterparty,' with political and social commentary from panelists. TV One is available in 43.7 million households, or about 40 percent of the nation's TV homes. … 'We are not a news organization,' [the network's CEO] said. 'We are a television network that is designed to celebrate African-American achievement. That is why we are covering this convention. If Hillary (Clinton) was the nominee, we would not be covering this year's Democratic convention.'"
If there's one thing in which Us Weekly shouldn't be involved, it's politics. So, naturally, the magazine has decided to judge the candidates based on their fashion — because the state of the country doesn't matter if Barack Obama and John McCain aren't looking good.
The target this week is Obama, who had the audacity to bicycle around Chicago in "ill-fitting jeans, a tucked in golf shirt and big tennis shoes." The horror! Us' fashion police weigh in:
Although Hillary's made some major fashion faux pas in the past (anyone remember a certain wedding dress?), we wouldn't see her in a pair of pegged acid washed jeans, peddling a bicycle built for two with Bill.
Hilarious. Also, in case you were worried, "The Obama Girl won't be singing about this!"
Barack Obama has officially secured the Democratic presidential nomination, making him the first black candidate on a major party ticket to run for the highest office in the land.
The next six months will be the most grueling of his life, exposing him to inhuman duplicity he never knew existed, but, today, he's feeling frisky. Good for him.
Editor
