Coachella banished hippies from this year's festival but still allowed all of these tools to partake in the action. Life isn't fair.

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You going to Coachella this year? We aren't. It's a rule of ours to not attend events that give Jack Johnson equal billing to motherfucking Prince. You know who else isn't going? Hippies. But they're staying away for an entirely different reason: because they've been banished by law! Don't believe us? After the jump, check out the anti-hippie laws this year's Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival has enacted, and consider what a tease it is to have such harsh rules at a Jack Johnson show. (emphasis ours on the really bigoted ones)

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In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.

Today's Someone Haiku winner is iadoreamore:

a norman rockwell
as seen by l. ron hubbard
xenu is so proud

That one was fantastic, though it should be noted that there were many good entries that round. Alien lords tend to bring out the best in people.

New Someone Haiku after the jump.

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