Some interesting stuff actually happened on The Hills last night, which is a shame because everything was overshadowed by Heidi and Spencer's Wedding of the Century. On the show, Audrina found out that Lauren and Justin Bobby may or may not have hooked up (we're going to go with "no way in hell"), which led to lots of tears in the middle of public places. But the real talk of the night — at least on the series' aftershow — revolved around the Speidi marriage.
Holly Montag, sister of Heidi and roommate of Lauren, took to the talk show to discuss the idiocy of the wedding and appear genuinely sad. She acted like a sister should, claiming she would always love Heidi regardless of her stupid, stupid actions — but visibly teared up when discovering that the couple actually married days ago. Sucks finding out along with the rest of the Us Weekly crowd, huh?
Yeah, I'm still watching The Hills. Despite telling everyone it's for work, I know I am completely addicted. It gets worse — and less realistic — by the episode, which sends me into a blind rage in which I am forced to remind myself that my time would be better spent watching milk curdle, but I always come back for more.
So on last night's episode, Heidi's sister Holly (whom Spencer kicked out of the couple's apartment) decided to crash at Lauren and Lo's house after Audrina moved out. Shocking, right? Except a few of our genius readers totally predicted it. But I couldn't even let my mind shut off during the episode because I was so damn confused by the timeline. CONTINUED »
Denise Richards dragged her more likable by default sister out to celebrate Tao's three year anniversary party in Las Vegas over the weekend. Giving her a run for her money in the insufferable competition were Ellen Pompeo, Holly Montag and Perez Hilton. If we were to be stuck on a stranded island with any of them, we can't decide who would be the least maddening. Feel free to choose for yourself.
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Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Wanna know why I have on a hood today? Why I'm so theatrical? Because your photo shoot was theatrical — at the awards ceremony for the Fiercees. So for this judging I decided to be Little Black Riding Hood." — Tyra, America's Next Top Model
Last night on The Hills, the Chucky doll-ish Spencer Pratt schooled viewers on how to be a functioning adult who behaves appropriately. Upon hearing that his girlfriend/robot's sister, Holly, wants to spend time with mortal enemy Lauren Conrad, Spencer gives a death glare and then pulls out the "As long as you're living under my roof…" argument, complete with his big word of the day, "fraternizing." He also shows off his fantastic passive-aggressiveness with a sarcastic comment about how Lauren is "really cool." When none of those tactics work, he stomps off to throw a tantrum in his room. Well played, Spence. Well played. (Scene at 0:45.)
There was definite funny business going on last night at some video game launch party in Hollywood: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag showed up, along with her sister Holly and Lauren Conrad's ex Doug Reinhardt. This is mildly scandalous because, upon breaking up with Lauren, Doug went out on a date with Spencer's sister Stephanie (which went over like a lead balloon when Lauren found out). Little Dougy seems to fit right in with the Hills cast and their high school drama, but someone forgot to tell Holly that it's all fake:
Yeah, we came together. We are just, you know, hanging out.
Translation: OMG do you think he likes me?!?! He's soooo cute!! I'm going to act coy but OMG YOU GUYS I totally think we're going to get married!
Unfortunately, Doug quickly shot down her hopes:
There are no romantic sparks. She is a great girl.
Translation: I am repulsed by her but would like more screen time on upcoming episodes of The Hills. Also, I'm available for autographs after the event.
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Thank goodness The Hills returned last night — Mondays simply weren't the same without Spencer Pratt and his creepy flesh-colored beard gracing our television sets. Apparently this season's Speidi storyline will revolve around Heidi's sister, Holly, because the couple has no other friends and needs a new punching bag. The manufactured drama isn't necessarily interesting in the least, but we are consistently entertained by Spence's ability to raise the bar every week with his d-bag abilities. In the scene at left, Spencer welcomes Holly into his home the only way he knows how: By forcing her to watch him play X-Box while he ignores her.
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