AND BY 'MEDICATION' WE MEAN 'DRUGS' "Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital. The singer, 25, was admitted to the London Clinic on Sunday after a bad reaction to medication, her rep tells The Associated Press."

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EVEN D-BAGS INJURE THEMSELVES FROM TIME TO TIME "Jesse Metcalfe is 'doing fine' after suffering a fall in Monaco over the weekend, his rep tells Usmagazine.com. 'He accidentally slipped off a balcony and was knocked unconscious,' the rep adds, 'but he is fine and now recovering from some minor bruises in a London hospital.'"

WHY JAYDEN JAMES WAS HOSPITALIZED "Now we've gotten to the bottom of why Jayden James was rushed to the hospital yesterday. Sources tell TMZ he ingested something that didn't agree with him. We are told, contrary to several reports, it was NOT a seizure. We're told he'll probably be discharged tomorrow."

OH, DEAR "A source confirms to ET that Britney Spears' son, Jayden James, has been admitted to the hospital. The two-year-old was rushed to the emergency room when he became ill. The family was on a trip to Britney's family home in Kentwood, Louisiana."

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• It's a good thing Joaquin Phoenix decided to retire from acting, because he needs to go back to school. [Yeeeah]

• Former Bachelorette/famewhore DeAnna Pappas has called off her reality show-inspired engagement. Who here is surprised by this? [ICYDK]

• We can't figure out if Enrique Iglesias is being insecure or realistic. [INO]

• A gallery of all the celebrity offspring dressed up in their Halloween costumes, because trick or treating is way more fun with the paparazzi in tow. [PS]

• Amanda Bynes spent too much time in the tanning booth. [HT]

• Amy Winehouse checked out of the hospital last week and checked back in today. Nothing to see here, folks. [DListed]

IN OUR THOUGHTS "Presidential hopeful Barack Obama will take time off from the campaign so he can fly to Hawaii to see his maternal grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, who has become seriously ill. Campaign spokesman Robert Gibbs said Dunham's 'one of the most important people' in the senator's life. His Kansas-bred grandmother helped raise him along with her World War II-veteran husband Stanley and her daughter, Obama's mother, Ann Dunham."

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AND SHE'S OUT "Janet Jackson has been released from the Royal Victoria Hospital in Montreal, according to a hospital rep. 'Yesterday evening she was checked into the Royal Victoria Hospital and left a couple of hours later,' Rebecca Burns, the spokeswoman for the McGill University Health Centre, which operates the hospital, told People."

According to Janet Jackson's rep, the singer "got suddenly ill during the sound check" before a concert last night in Montreal, resulting in a trip to the hospital. Nobody's saying much about it, except that Janet's being monitored and hopes to reschedule her show, so we assume it's nothing too serious.

Perhaps her body fell ill because it was tired of wearing her godawful tour wardrobe? Just a thought.

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BARKER RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL "Travis Barker has been released from the Joseph M. Still Burn Center at Doctors Hospital in Augusta, Georgia, Usmagazine.com has confirmed. 'Travis Barker was discharged from the Joseph M. Still Burn Center at Doctors Hospital this morning,' spokesperson Beth Frits told Us Monday afternoon. 'He left in good condition.'"

DJ AM RELEASED "A week after surviving a plane crash that took the lives of four people, DJ AM has been released from Doctors Hospital in August, Georgia, his rep said Friday. 'While he is deeply saddened by the events he is thankful for all of the love and support he has been receiving from fans and friends world wide,' the rep said. 'We ask that you continue respect his privacy as he rests and heals and mourns the loss of his friends.'"

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GET WELL SOON "Natalie Cole has suffered a setback in her treatment for hepatitis C and has been hospitalized in New York, People has learned. The side effects of Cole's grueling chemotherapy treatment for the liver disease, paired with a strenuous promotional schedule in support of her just-released new album Still Unforgettable, are what led to the Grammy winner's hospitalization."

SWANK HOSPITALIZED "Hilary Swank is recuperating after undergoing a minor medical procedure at the hospital. … The Oscar-winning actress, 34, was 'experiencing some discomfort and went to see her doctor, who prescribed an immediate course of action that included a brief hospitalization to remove a small, benign growth,' manager Jason Weinberg says."

JACKSON HOSPITALIZED "The Rev. Jesse Jackson was hospitalized and undergoing tests Thursday after complaining of severe stomach pains. Jackson told The Associated Press that he entered Northwestern Memorial Hospital on Wednesday after falling ill earlier in the week."

MORE GOOD NEWS FOR SHIA "Doctors have told Shia LaBeouf they may have to amputate one of his injured fingers. … The young star, now working on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is likely to lose the pinky on his left hand, a source on the movie set says. 'Shia called producers yesterday and told them,' the source on the set in Alamogordo, N.M. says. 'It's really thrown the movie into turmoil.'"

Huzzah! America's surrogate grandfather, Morgan Freeman, is said to be recovering nicely from surgery in Tennessee after breaking his arm and elbow in a serious car accident.

Now let's all go back to dreaming about an invite to a Freeman household dinner party. (This I guarantee: the food would be as delicious as the conversation, and there would be a fire in the fireplace.)

Not content with letting her husband soak up all the spotlight, Amy Winehouse's mother has weighed in with her theories on the singer's recent hospitalization.

The truth is that Amy ended up in hospital this week because she mixed up the medication she's taking to help her come off drugs. She took a wrong tablet.

I really don't think she's using now. Being diagnosed with the early stage of emphysema was a real jolt to her. A bit of a wake-up call. Mind you, I think she does have the odd sneaky cigarette. Give her a break, she's not a miracle worker.

Poor Amy doesn't seem to stand a chance, seeing as how "crazy" and "delusional" run in her family.

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We knew there was quite a bit of fiction to Amy Winehouse's rep's claim that the singer was hospitalized Monday night due to a reaction to her anti-drug medication. Luckily for us, Mitch Winehouse, Amy's father, is around to feed us even more lies.

See, his theory on the drug addict's latest hospital visit is that her drink was spiked with ecstasy by a random person. But why stop there? It could have been a ghost — or perhaps a bird flew by and dropped something in the drink. The possibilities are endless! Anyway, he called the police to make sure they knew about the situation, at which point the cops presumably laughed in his face.

Good luck on your hunt for the perpetrator, Mitch. While you're at it, why don't you go look for the person who got your daughter wasted on booze and (most likely) drugs this past weekend and forced her to stumble around town barefoot?

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