SHOCK JOCK GETS THE GIRL "Howard Stern and his longtime girlfriend Beth Ostrosky were married in New York City on Friday night, according to guests who attended the celebration. The guest list for the wedding, held at the restaurant Le Cirque, included Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters, Billy Joel and wife Katie Lee, Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman and Stern's radio co-host, Robin Quivers. Stern, 54, and Ostrosky, 36, were joined in a ceremony officiated by Mark Consuelos, the husband of Kelly Ripa, who also attended. Billy Joel sang two songs, and Chevy Chase delivered a raunchy roast, said one guest."

Brooke Hogan revealed why America is going downhill at a rapid pace when she appeared on Howard Stern's radio show and displayed her political knowledge. Here's a hint: She studied up on the upcoming election so she can confidently rattle off the last names of the presidential candidates, but don't ask her to be confident about Obama's first name — that's a tricky one. And who in their right mind would expect her to recall the name of our current vice president? That is absurd.

But there's good news: She's having her bookkeeper look into registering her to vote.

Who knew Howard Stern was so sensitive? The shock jock took to the airwaves to deny reports that he was helping a 22-year-old girl auction off her virginity … because he has such a great reputation to defend? We don't get the outrage. He insists that he only invited her onto his show to interview her, not to assist in the process: "I'm really aggravated by this. I don't feel like defending myself to my kids about something that's in the paper that isn't true."

Fair enough, Howard. You can go back to being America's moral compass.

[Source]

Howard Stern is helping a 22-year-old San Diego woman, who goes by the alias "Natalie Dylan," auction off her viriginity. Natalie says she will not necessarily sell herself to the highest bidder: "I want someone with chemistry. We'll take bids until I find a suitor I'm happy with." But why is she doing it in the first place? To pay for her college education, of course.

According to Dylan, she and her sister were forced into the skin trade partly because their stepfather allegedly took out student loans in their names without their permission, leaving them unable to finance their education.

She says she's already earned her bachelor's degree in women's studies at Sacramento State and that in January she'll start her master's work in marriage and family therapy there. She hopes to get a doctorate.

Look, we get that it's tough for some people to make enough money to educate themselves, but something about this whole story just feels really, really wrong.

Photo of Miss Dylan, after the jump.

CONTINUED »

As a devastating fire continues to rip through Malibu's manicured mansions, wealthy residents of Southern California must now face more tragic news: Ellen DeGeneres may be a habitually irresponsible pet owner. Today's Page Six offers these harrowing details:

Kerri Randles says she gave DeGeneres a male mutt named Stormy two years ago, only to find out less than two months later that fickle Ellen had re-gifted him to a member of her staff.

DeGeneres may have passed along several other dogs over the years. Howard Stern said on his Sirius show that he'd heard she had done this nine times before.

The plot, she thickens.

[Source]

• This guy was my pretty much my idol after Rumble Fish. What happened, Mick? [DListed]

• Roddick got Photoshop 'roids. At least they're safe. [BWE]

• Big boobs is your evidence? She's had big boobs for like seven years now. How long is that baby taking, guys? [HT]

• Lohan meltdown clock set two minutes closer to midnight. [ICYDK]

• Some prince is paying ten mill to hang with Michael Jackson. Dude, I would have done it for half that, and I wouldn't even molest you. [Yeeeah]

• Since boobs are no longer shocking on his show, Howard Stern has taken the next logical step to suicide. [CityRag]

• Knowing that this was forced makes it even more hollow than most other public service announcements. [SH]

With this video, Sanjaya's sister is now the cherry on the sundae for Howard Stern fans.

• Something tells me William Randolph wouldn't have liked this very much. [Egotastic]

• Make-out Boy. [Queerty]

• Howard Stern engaged. Not the murdering one. The less scumbaggy one. [PopSugar]

• Carmen, not acknowledging the nudes won't make 'em go away. [ICYDK]

• Fab feeling shab. [ASL]

• Wait, what war? Anna Nicole died in a war? Is Iraq saying they're the father? [Jossip]

• "He'll leave yo' ass for a white giiiirl." [JJ]

• Aniston's boobs and old nose. [Egotastic]

• Who woulda thought Howard K. Stern would be the one to defile the name Howard Stern? [INO]

• Wonderland working wonders. [PopSugar]

• Kylie's a li'l bundle of class. [ASL]

• My "diet doctor" hates my ice cream doctor and my mozzarella sticks nurse. [TS]

• FBI losing guns and sensitive information. No big deal, as conflicts worldwide remain at an all time low. [CNN]

• American Idol contestants are giving street cred to a cappella groups at colleges nationwide. [TMZ]

• The sad thing is, Michael Jackson is probably better at walking in heels than I am. [DListed]

• Jennifer Aniston told Oprah that she's still seeing Vince Vaughn, but to be hush hush about it, lest her husband Brad Pitt finds out.

• Shut up, Shanna Moakler, we all liked you better when you were just hitting Paris and keeping your mouth shut. [I'm Not Obsessed]

• Mary Kate feels left out of the unattractive boyfriend trend, finds herself a French one. [Splash]

• Wanna feel uncomfortable? Check out Howard Stern make this woman cry while talking about her naked parties. [Egotastic]

• Natalie Portman may be shaking up with a billionaire (and no, it's not one of the YouTube nerds, thank god). [Junkiness]

• Kate Moss! Kate Moss! Kate Moss! [PopSugar]

• Stay off the roads in Pune, just a word to the wise. [Celebitchy]

• I guess Christina Ricca is hot, but it's hard to think of her as so after seeing Pumpkin. [WWTDD]

• Really, does anyone care at all whether or not Jennifer Lopez is preganant? I bet that baby photo wouldn't even fetch six figures. [PopSugar]

• While Britney Spears is away the Kevin Federline must play, with a bunch of greasy looking dirtbags. Well, at least he must feel at home. [DListed]

• Yikes, high-res imaging is certainly not Tyra Bank's friend. Thank god for airbrushing and photoshop. [FadedYouth]

• Note to Brandon Davis: When Howard Stern thinks you're a sleaze-ball, you're probably a fucking sleaze-ball. [Hollywood Rag]