The triple murder tragedy of Jennifer Hudson's family wasn't going to be ignored by the celebrity weeklies. Sadly, multiple deaths are what it takes to get a black girl on the cover of a tabloid. The editors of each weekly, then, had to consider how the competition was going to play the game. Only People and Us gave Hudson A1 treatment, while every other magazine at least included her in a sidebar or footer.
Life & Style and OK! ended up with the same photo. Only the Globe went with a picture of Jennifer with her mouth closed — because nothing says tragedy like eyes staring into the horizon and a mouth agape.
And the honor of Going Full Exploitative goes to, not surprisingly:
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "This wine tastes like a mar-lett." — Creepa, From G's to Gents
• Solange Knowles manages to be more obnoxious than most celebrity siblings. [DListed]
• Apparently the "turn to the side and hope Us Weekly does a good Photoshop job" diet doesn't stick. [Yeeeah]
• Jessica Simpson seriously needs to stop talking about Tony Romo. [PS]
• A new tell-all is in the works called Stalking Britney — or, as we like to call it, In Touch. [ICYDK]
• Heidi Montag continues to willingly be the butt of America's jokes. [HT]
• We disagree with this list of the top 10 funniest movies of all time. [INO]
BUT HE SEEMED LIKE SUCH A NICE BOY "In an exclusive interview with In Touch, 28-year-old Kelli Dawson reveals that she and Casey [Aldridge], 19, were romantically involved — and were still sleeping together when Jamie Lynn [Spears], now 17, was six months pregnant with his child. No fleeting hookup, Casey and Kelli’s relationship was both real and lasting — and it grew in intensity, even as Jamie Lynn announced she was pregnant. And, Kelli says, they still meet up on a regular basis. 'I see him all the time, at least once a week,' she shares."
Brad Pitt’s loudmouthed attorneys at Lavely & Singer are, preemptively, trying to clamp down on a series of photos that “were surreptitiously taken of Mr. Pitt and his family as they engaged in familial activities on private property, namely, in the privacy of the estate in which they are presently residing in France and where they had a reasonable expectation of privacy.” Not content with issuing a cease and desist letter after the pictures’ publication, L&S want to make sure these photos never make it into the public eye. (Too late, as you’ll see.)
Supposedly, the publication of these photos — showing Pitt and wife Angelina Jolie with the kids — infringe not just on Pitt’s privacy rights in the State of California, but also in France!
Except, according to one understanding of the law, this is wrong. Oh, and also? In Touch already published the pics.
Reputable In Touch magazine ran a story this week claiming John Mayer hit on a woman other than Jennifer Aniston, which is neither shocking nor true, according to tattletale Us Weekly.
The other woman, 32-year-old Chaton Anderson, "tearfully told Usmagazine.com that the story 'is completely not true' and she's considering legal action against the magazine." Wow, our hearts really go out to this poor woman. It's almost like she didn't ask for all this media attention — except she's crying about it to another tabloid.
Anyway, Chaton says she told a friend who works for the magazine that "nothing happened" when she met Mayer "a long time ago" — yet suddenly a fabricated story appeared in this week's issue. In Touch? Making up stories? Nah.
[Source]
BOOBS OBSESSING OVER THE BOOBS OF BOOBS "Jessica Simpson, who was slammed this week by Pamela Anderson for wearing a T-shirt that said 'Real Girls Eat Meat,' has gotten her revenge on the former 'Baywatch' babe by beating her to the top spot in InTouch Weekly’s 2008 Best Breast poll. Simpson’s chest was followed closely by that of Tyra Banks, Scarlett Johansson, Carmen Electra, Lindsay Lohan and Katherine Heigl. Audrina Patridge’s very own 'Hills' earned seventh spot with Jennifer Aniston, Megan Fox and Beyonce Knowles rounding out the Top 10."
This week In Touch made Los Angeles Times blogger Liz Snead — who's been calling on Angelina Jolie to SHOW YOURSELF!!! – a very happy woman: At last, since Entertainment Tonight first falsely reported the superstar mom had given birth to her twins, there's photo evidence that … she hasn't.
Denise Richards has received quite a bit of negative publicity in recent years for her inability to act like a decent human being, but now she has taken to her favorite tabloid to brag about what a great mother she has become. In fact, she's so selfless, she put her children in therapy! … And then announced it to the entire world.
My kids are in therapy. It’s very sad that they need to be there, but they do for now. On the other hand, it’s good they have an outlet to deal with their feelings and someone who is just their advocate.
Yes, that is good, Denise. If only the girls had an advocate who lived with them and cared for them full-time — let's just call this person a "mother" — who isn't busy blabbing about her children's personal lives to In Touch.
[Source]
• Heidi Montag's sister, ladies and gentleman. (Site NSFW) [DS]
• John Mayer doesn't like Guitar Hero, because he obviously feels threatened by the masses who spend all day playing video games. [ICYDK]
• Gavin Rossdale was named best celebrity dad by In Touch. Because if there's anything a tabloid knows, it's good parenting skills. [INO]
• Jessica Simpson continues to infect Nashville. [PS]
• Vin Diesel reproduced — get ready for The Pacifier 2! [DListed]
In the winner's corner: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer dominated the tabloids this week, with most publications declaring them the hot new couple. There's not much to be negative about, except for the fact that any relationship involving Jen is doomed to fail.
In the loser's corner: Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are competing to see who can make it to the altar first, because isn't that what romance is all about? We can't decide who's the bigger loser in this situation — the Simpsons or their poor significant others.
Also this week: Britney continues to get her act together, Lindsay gets mixed reviews and Angelina is possibly getting married. But don't hold your breath. CONTINUED »
We're switching things up a bit this week: Instead of simply summing up the tabloids, we're presenting the week's winners and losers in the eyes of the magazines. Which publications favor which celebrities? And does the relationship change from week to week?
This time around, Britney seems to have won back the love of the tabs, because not a single bad story was written about her. The mags are split on Lindsay — some say she's in a happy and stable lesbian relationship; others declare that she is off the wagon (again).
And congrats are in order to the biggest loser of the week, Jessica Simpson, who is apparently pathetic and in danger of losing boyfriend Tony Romo. When even the tabloids are pitying you, you know there's a problem. CONTINUED »
In Touch picked up on sister mag Life & Style's Suri Cruise obsession this week with stalker photos and insider details surrounding the tot's birthday party.
Tom Cruise reportedly spent $100,000 on the extravaganza, which is so ridiculous we don't even need to say anything about it. The cost included $17,000 for fresh flowers, $45,000 on catering and $5,000 for cakes. But these weren't just any pastries: Each guest received a personalized cake and Suri was treated to a four-tier cake covered in buttercream frosting, bumblebees and butterflies. Oh, and Katie received $230 worth of Sprinkles cupcakes. Who knew she ate?
The celebration continued into the evening when Tom and Katie invited their own friends — including Eva Longoria Parker, David and Victoria Beckham, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, and Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy — to a private bash. Because we're sure that was on Suri's wishlist.
It's a good thing they pulled out all the stops for this milestone birthday, seeing as how Suri likely had already forgotten about it by breakfast.
[Source]
Another slow week in Hollywood has resulted in covers featuring the tabloids' dependable standbys: Britney, Angelina and the Cruise family. Mariah also joins the list of covergirls to flaunt her "new" body — which she has had off and on for her entire life.
There's also the coverage of the Ashlee Simpson maybe-pregnancy, but big sister Jessica gets most of the attention. She must have pissed off all the magazine editors this week, because she is called out for not only being jealous of her sister's happiness but also for drinking heavily. Yikes.
Also this week: Paris wants to get married, Miley Cyrus wants to become an author and Heidi Montag wants butt implants. We're keeping our fingers crossed none of that works out. CONTINUED »
Judging from this week's tabloid covers, it was an uneventful week in Hollywood, besides the fact that Jay-Z and Beyonce got married in an anticlimactic top secret ceremony. Luckily, for all five of you who care, Us Weekly has the mundane details.
Britney only made one cover this week, which must mean her road to recovery has been going smoothly over the last seven days. But not so fast! In Touch swears the trainwreck is having a relapse, complete with bloody scalps and bald spots. Yum.
Also this week: Us finds yet another angle to the presidential race, some stars lost baby weight and Kim Kardashian continues to whore out her "exclusives" for the spotlight. CONTINUED »
In case you haven't heard, there is a war going on, and it's not in Iraq — it's waging between Perez Hilton and John Mayer. Perez accused John in this week's Life & Style and In Touch of making out with him in 2006. Yeah, he's just now bringing this up. Perez says he decided to spill the beans now because John has been saying mean things about him on his blog — which would normally serve as reason to be upset, except it's Perez Hilton.
John retaliated in an XM radio interview by correctly pointing out that Perez doesn't actually hate celebrities — he wants to be one. It's pretty obvious John isn't that bothered by Perez, and that should have been the end of the saga.
Except it's not. Now Us Weekly is promising a video showing Perez taking a lie detector test with an examiner from the worst television show in the world, Moment of Truth. Nobody really cares at this point whether or not it's true; the entertainment comes from watching Perez desperately try to stay in the limelight.
The tabloids had a good variety of stories this week, with one Angelina and three Britney covers. Life & Style was the only magazine to get desperate with the typical "celebrities starve themselves to get skinny" cover story. Trailblazers, those L&S staffers.
There is, as usual, a plethora of Spears stories covering Brit's mental illness and recent weight loss. OK! proclaims that she's back to her old body, and judging by the cover, she is — because it's an old photograph from 2003.
Also this week: Lindsay realizes she looks old, Perez Hilton needs attention and Jason Wahler stars in yet another reality show. Count us out. CONTINUED »
Britney Spears' successful TV guest appearance earned her a feature in all five tabs this week, and only Star made up a scandalous story to sell more magazines. Congrats, Brit — we missed you.
You know who else is a tabloid winner this week? Brit's ex, Kevin Federline. The father of the year shows up in practically every mag this week due to his 30th birthday disaster and a special "Look, I'm a good guy!" exclusive.
Also this week: Heidi continues her Us Weekly "exclusive" reign, Katie' eating disorder finally catches up to her and OK! tries to be like Life & Style. Don't ask us why. CONTINUED »
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