DUMBEST COURT BATTLE EVER "Hilary Duff's dad will be spending up to 10 days in jail — all because of a fight over cash for Hilary's birthday party. … Mama Duff dragged her ex into court — and this is no joke — to ask for $25,000 to throw a party for Hilary's 21st birthday — because that's what they spent on Haylie's 21st bday two years ago."
GOOD RIDDANCE "Teri Hatcher's uncle — whom she helped put in prison for molesting her, as well as two young girls — has died. Richard Hayes Stone, 70 — who had been serving a 14-year sentence at Chuckawalla Valley State Prison in Blythe, Calif. — passed away of colon cancer on Tuesday."
In what has rapidly become the worst idea ever, DMX announced he will star in his own reality show. DMX: This Life of Mine will follow the rapper as he reads to children, volunteers at the local animal shelter and redecorates his home. Just kidding, it's going to be all about his 582 arrests. DMX says he hopes people can see "what really goes on in my life." Uh, buddy? We've seen your six arrests in 2008 alone. What else could you possibly have been doing?
NOT DARRYL! "Craig Robinson — Darryl the warehouse guy from The Office — was arrested June 29 for possession of a multitude of drugs, including meth and ecstasy. Cops in Culver City, Calif. say they pulled over a vehicle for a traffic violation and found the drugs and the actor inside the car. [Craig was charged] with possession of meth and ecstasy and being under the influence of cocaine, amphetamines and cannabinoids."
Brooke Hogan has officially gone off the deep end, although some might argue she already took the plunge many MySpace posts ago. Her latest written masterpiece — complete with mug shots, LOLCat style! — is evidently supposed to make the bloggers and gossip mongers of the world hang their heads in shame, but instead it just makes us feel really sorry for her.
Click through for her words of wisdom. CONTINUED »
EIGHTEENTH VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST "A bench warrant has been issued for rapper DMX after he failed to show for a pre-trial conference."
JUST LIKE BABY JESUS WOULD HAVE WANTED "Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, will be released just after Christmas, it's been reported."
Hayden Panettiere's father, Alan, decided he wants a piece of the spotlight too — so he went and got arrested for hitting Hayden's mother, Lesley, in the face early this morning.
Alan was charged with a felony count of domestic violence and is being held on $50,000 bail.
[Source]
Although many were expecting Da Brat to have her sister LisaRaye’s back in her well-publicized (by her own publicist) marital problems, Da Brat has problems of her own to deal with.
Namely, a trip behind bars.
This is the most absurd story we have heard in a long time, and that's saying something after living through the Britney Spears Crazy Fest of 2007: Actress Nikki Blonsky and her father were arrested this week after getting into a fight with a woman in an airport. The fight, which broke out at Providenciales International Airport in Turks and Caicos, was over seating arrangements. Evidently the woman wanted to sit somewhere, but Blonsky and Co. refused to move their luggage. A source claims that the woman was injured so badly that she was flown to Miami. Um, OK? Nikki's being charged with actual bodily harm while her father is charged with grievous bodily harm.
It gets better: Former America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden was also involved, but nobody knows why or how. Oh, and Nikki's now in a neck brace.
Seriously, there's no way this can be true. Right? Right?
[Source]
30 years after releasing their first film together, famously weedy comedy duo Cheech and Chong are reuniting for a comedy tour dubbed "Hey, What's That Smell?" (Pot, right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Man, they are funny.) What to expect? Probably some jokes about how weed gets you high, and then who knows. Chong recently got out of prison, so there might be some hilarious bits about that. If you go, please report back with just what the hell people see in these guys. We've long felt they were proof positive that people who do enough drugs will laugh at anything.
BOY BAND CON ARTIST ALSO A TATTLETALE "While waiting to find out his legal fate last year in Orange County, [Lou] Pearlman listened in on another inmate's chat and put together a dossier that implicated the inmate, Davin Smith, in a cop killing. … Pearlman took detailed notes and even drew diagrams that could be 'useful' in the cops' investigation of Smith."
American hero Nick Hogan, who has been forced to endure the horrible process of paying for his mistakes, has some good news coming his way: He will celebrate his 18th birthday this weekend. Unfortunately, the party will be held behind bars, but Nick will get a change of scenery: He's moving to an adult facility!
It's an open dormitory type of setting where he'll be in close contact with other adult inmates. The inmates are either awaiting sentencing or have already been sentenced in cases ranging from misdemeanors to felonies.
We're sure he'll be getting quite a few birthday presents from the other inmates.
[Source]
Khloe Kardashian's stint in jail came and went yesterday as the famewhore served 173 minutes of her original 30-day sentence. But before you start to think she had it easy, listen to these horrors she endured while serving her time: A woman on her bus suffered a seizure, her building was on lockdown after receiving a bomb threat, and the guards wouldn't give Khloe a blanket even though she was cold.
The worst part? She didn't even get to wear a cute orange jumpsuit — she was in and out so quickly she didn't have time to change clothes. Oh, the humanity!
Look for Khloe's tearful post-jail interview this week on Larry King Live.
LET'S MAKE A DEAL "Accused con artist Raffaello Follieri could be getting ready to cut his losses and make a deal with prosecutors. … Assistant US Attorney Reed Brodsky has estimated Follieri would likely spend up to nine years behind bars if a jury convicts him of wire fraud and money laundering. A deal to plead guilty could land him a reduced sentencing range of five to six and a half years."
THREE WHOLE DAYS "Khloe Kardashian, the youngest of the Kardashian sisters, has been sentenced to three days in Los Angeles County jail for violating probation following a DUI arrest."
This might be interesting had Paris Hilton not already done it first: Khloe Kardashian will report to jail Friday to serve her 30-day sentence for DUI. You remember her DUI arrest, right? It was reenacted for an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Oh, I was the only one who watched it?
Anyhoo, the judge has decided to "make an example out of her," but she will likely only serve less than one day of her 30-day sentence. Apparently even being a D-lister's sibling is enough to get you the celebrity justice treatment.
[Source]
I guess I don't really understand how the prison system works, especially overseas, because I have a few questions spurred by this weekend's latest Amy Winehouse drama. Her husband, the lovely Blake Incarcerated, was caught (complete with photographic evidence) taking heroin in his London prison cell. Surprising, no? I really thought he was getting his act together.
So maybe this is naive of me, but why is he consistently able to get his grubby hands on illegal substances while being locked away in a prison cell? And who is this person taking the pictures? Do they allow cameras behind bars? And who is paying all of this money for exclusive photos of anyone Amy Winehouse-related taking drugs? Is this really breaking news?
[Source]
Editor
