Yankees d-bag Alex Rodriguez and musical d-bag Madonna had a "meeting of the minds," if you will, last week at Jerry Seinfeld's mansion in the Hamptons. And, because these two losers can't do anything quietly, it was a huge James Bond-like production.

A chopper carrying the Yankee slugger was seen landing in East Hampton, where he was picked up in a white Porsche 911 matching the description of Jessica [Seinfeld]'s car. Less than 40 minutes later, another helicopter that took off from Chelsea Piers with Madonna aboard landed at the same airstrip.

'A dark SUV and Jerry in another Porsche both pulled up and picked up Madonna and they headed back to Jerry's place,' a witness told us. … 'About four hours later, the dark SUV left the house and took them all back to the airport.'

We did not need to know any of this. Seriously, the images haunting our mind right now are worse than that freaky clown from a few posts below.

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WILL BOND PROVE RECESSION-PROOF? "The new James Bond film 'Quantum of Solace' may prove critic-and recession-proof … when it hits British cinemas this week and U.S. theatres on November 14, box office trackers predict. The second Bond movie with Daniel Craig as the suave secret agent is expected to build on the success of 2006's 'Casino Royale,' despite economic pressures on movie-goers and agreement among critics that the earlier film was comfortably the better. … Experts said financial turmoil and plunging values of stocks and property would have only a limited impact on ticket sales."

On Monday, pallid shredder Jack White released a statement complaining that the theme song he composed with Alicia Keys for upcoming Bond film Quantum of Solace, "Another Way to Die," had no business in the hands of Coca Cola.

Coke is currently using "Another Way" in its Coke Zero Zero 7 commercials, and White, obviously completely ignorant to the way modern mega-corporations pimp each other's creativity, feels slighted by this. He went so far as to say he was "disappointed."

Of course, we were desperate to hear the song White holds so dear. Take a listen after the jump.

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In what should come as a shock to absolutely no one, PETA announced that it is upset with The Dark Knight because of a short scene in which Batman beats a few dogs in self-defense. PETA obviously has nothing better to complain about.

But to really show Batman the error of his ways, the animal rights organization removed him from its list of Top 10 Animal-Friendly Superheroes. Ouch. There's also some great lines in the rant: "They didn't need to make Batman into a dogphobic man!" True poetry. Then PETA asks, "Doesn't the man with the James Bond gadgets know anything about peanut butter treats and deflecting devices?" Um, PETA? Did you even see the movie or are you simply unaware of how dumb you sound?

Click through for the complete inanity.

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PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET IT BE ANNIE LENNOX "The trailer for Quantum of Solace looks good enough. All the next 007 flick needs to join the 21 other James Bond movies is a cool theme song. Unfortunately, nailing one down is turning out to be more difficult than defeating SPECTRE. … Now, some stars from the days when 'pop' meant something have thrown their names into consideration. Annie Lennox (of Eurythmics fame before embarking on her solo career) has joined Duran Duran as legendary '80s acts hoping to lend their sound to the 21st-century Bond film."