To the commenter who pointed out that "stupid" probably isn't a bad word to learn while growing up in the Spears household, we applaud you. The idiocy continued today thanks to reports that baby train wreck Jamie Lynn Spears had liposuction while pregnant with her daughter Maddie. No, we're dead serious.
Jamie Lynn was apparently unaware she was pregnant and just thought she was getting fat at the time of the procedure, which was approved by Mother of the Year Lynne:
She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure. Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient.
Yes, because a 16-year-old girl having liposuction is totally OK as long as she didn't know she was pregnant.
If you opened The New York Times or the Post this morning, you may have noticed this ad for the Candie’s Foundation’s “America, Wake Up” PSA campaign, which aims to prevent teenage pregnancy and promote discussion among teenagers and young adults.
What you don't know is that the same full-page ad, featuring pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin, was supposed to be in today's USA Today issue, but was pulled editors for fear of controversy.
• First the Spears girls, now beauty pageant queens: Louisiana continues to crank out winners. [Yeeeah]
• Paris Hilton is concerned that Pink thinks she's stupid. Does she understand that the rest of America agrees with Pink? [INO]
• We have no idea who this girl is, but she's wasted and fascinating. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson's relationship is outed yet again — this time by Sam's mom. [PS]
• Britney Spears' Halloween plans: "She’s thinking of going as herself but back in her shaven head days. She’s genuinely horrified when she looks back at those times so she figures that look would be a great costume for Halloween." [ICYDK]
• Speaking of Brit: Now you, too, can dance like her in three easy steps! [CityRag]
It's no wonder Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears are such messes — with matriarch Lynne steering the girls' upbringing, they didn't have a chance. Now that Lynne's published a tell-all book to bring in the cash, she wants to turn it into a movie. And, naturally, she has the cast already selected:
Lynne Spears believes Through The Storm — which details Britney's troubles with drink, drugs and teenage sex — would be a box office smash.
Scary Movie star Anna Faris has apparently been lined up to play Britney and Lynne has Julia Roberts in mind to play the part of her.
Ba! Hahaha! Julia Roberts? To play Lynne Spears? That's the most glorious, delusional thing we've heard all day.
[Source]
Before Sarah Palin, Britney Spears was America's most fascinating trainwreck. And just as Bonnie Fuller suggests that Jamie Lynn may have gotten pregnant again to spite Bristol (unlikely, but who knows with these families), maybe the Alaskan governor's appearance on the national scene made Brit-brit pine for the days when everyone speculated over how she could possibly do/say such stupid thing. Hence, an MTV documentary about the popstar, For the Record! Out in November!
Oh, Lynne Spears, bless her heart. The mother of three is still promoting that pathetic book, Through the Storm, this time taking her inane ramblings to The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, where she admitted that she doesn't know a heck of a lot. My mother used to always say "I didn't just fall off the turnip truck," but I'm pretty sure Lynne Spears did — the lady admits to not knowing whether Britney's first music video was too sexual or if she was doing drugs at some point in her career — and she thought Jamie-Lynn was a virgin! Ha! This, from the lady who allowed JL's boyfriend to enjoy multiple overnight visits. What did you think they were doing, Lynne?
THANK HEAVENS "While several reports are claiming Jamie Lynn is preggers again, an unimpeachable source tells TMZ Britney's baby sis does not have another bun in the oven."
Normally we wouldn't trust this story, courtesy of the National Enquirer, but we would have never believed that Britney Spears would shave her head and hold her child hostage in a bathroom, so it's safe to say that the Spears family isn't exactly predictable. And then there's the source, who was right that one time about John Edwards, so we can't fully doubt the credibility of this rumor. Instead, we'll just pray it's not true.
Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant again, y'all! Only three months after giving birth to her first child, the teenage mother is already knocked up for a second time.
'Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical. … Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding. She’d expected to have her period by early September.' A home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out, said the source.
OK, first off, why is Lynne furious? This is just another child to add to her pot of boiling cash cows. You know she's already got OK! on the phone for yet another million dollar exclusive. Secondly, friends are supposedly urging JL to abort this baby so she can focus on the first. It's a shame there's no way to avoid getting pregnant in the first place … perhaps some sort of protection? Oh right, they make that. And JL obviously doesn't use it.
Poor Lynne Spears. The mother of two cash cows (Britney and Jamie Lynn) and one disappointment (non-celebrity Bryan) has had a tough go at it lately, what with Brit going insane and JL doing the whole teen pregnancy thing. But even worse than that, she has been crucified in the tabloid world for her horrible parenting skills. This is an issue, Lynne says, because the woman who is potentially "a heartbeat away" from the presidency has been applauded for being in a very similar situation:
It's a totally different reaction. It's as if [Sarah Palin] became celebrated. … Every woman in the world has applauded her strength and her convictions and poor little old Jamie Lynn—you saw how she was crucified. Everybody did, firsthand … I just feel like it's been a very hypocritical situation.
Now, we're not trying to defend Sarah Palin here, but the situations were a teensy weensy bit different: She didn't raise her child on a Hollywood set, and she didn't pimp out her issues to OK! magazine for a million dollars. That aside, Sarah actually did get quite a bit of criticism for having a pregnant teenager — but Lynne probably only watches Entertainment Tonight for her breaking news.
[Source]
A Wal-Mart employee in Louisiana is in trouble with the feds for stealing a (technically) pornographic photo of Jamie Lynn Spears breast-feeding her child. There are just so many things wrong with this story, we don't know where to begin.
Jamie Lynn's fiance, Casey Aldridge, took your average I'm-a-new-teen-parent pictures on his digital camera and then ordered copies at his local Wal-Mart (of course), where one of the employees got a little too excited about a picture of a 17-year-old exposing her breast to feed a baby. This poses a problem for the creep because Jamie Lynn is a minor, and selling or buying pictures of this nature constitutes pornography. Oh, and then there's the whole issue of stealing Casey's photos.
Let this be a lesson to all of you: Don't get your photos developed at Wal-Mart. Also, don't be a pedophile.
[Source]
Oh, Lynne Spears. Watching you on The Today Show trying to justify how badly you screwed up in raising Britney was one of the most entertaining things we've seen in quite some time. Sure, you had to raise Jamie Lynn back at home, but it's pretty obvious you turned over your daughter's childhood in exchange for a paycheck. And no, sending Britney away at 16 to be a star is not the same thing as normal parents watching their children go off to college. Not in the least. It's no wonder Brit is so troubled.
The paparazzi have been having a tough go at it lately when it comes to celebrities in airports: First was the epic fight with Kanye West, and now the photogs have been duped by a Jamie Lynn Spears decoy. Just a note: If a Spears outsmarts you, you know it's time to pack it up and call it a day. Anyway, the trickery took place Wednesday when a group of police officers escorted a young blonde girl with sunglasses from her flight to baggage claim. The paparazzi immediately swarmed; meanwhile, Jamie Lynn and baby Maddie snuck out another way.
LA police swore they were not escorting the woman — they were simply helping guide the crowd to baggage claim. Um, except that wasn't the case. Watch the video here.
• Just in time for the weekend: Drunk celebrities! [CityRag]
• DMX is behind bars. Try to hide your shock. [ICYDK]
• Pete Wentz can't stop being a d-bag. [DListed]
• Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears organized a mini family reunion, and somebody forgot to leave Lynne off the invite list. [PS]
• The latest celebrity to join Scientology. [Yeeeah]
• Jamie Kennedy can't keep it in his pants. [INO]
All those rumors about Lynne Spears' parenting book, Through the Storm, detailing Britney's sex life and drug use turned out to be false. Obviously. Lynne knows not to bite the hand that feeds her. But Britney, in a rare moment of wisdom, has still cut off contact with her mother:
While the book doesn't dish on Britney's sex life or drug use, it blames all of Britney's problems on her daughter's former managers. Spears — who already considered her mother a siphon on her purse — is 'upset' about the book, spies said, especially when she feels Lynne herself caused so many of her problems and issues.
We'd have to agree with Brit on this one; while we'd normally get onto her for not accepting part of the blame, it's not really a 14-year-old girl's responsibility to make sure her mother isn't whoring her out. And we applaud her for recognizing that Lynne is still doing just that.
[Source]
BUT HE SEEMED LIKE SUCH A NICE BOY "In an exclusive interview with In Touch, 28-year-old Kelli Dawson reveals that she and Casey [Aldridge], 19, were romantically involved — and were still sleeping together when Jamie Lynn [Spears], now 17, was six months pregnant with his child. No fleeting hookup, Casey and Kelli’s relationship was both real and lasting — and it grew in intensity, even as Jamie Lynn announced she was pregnant. And, Kelli says, they still meet up on a regular basis. 'I see him all the time, at least once a week,' she shares."
Five days, people, and the long-awaited, understandably mocked Lynne Spears memoir, Through the Storm, will be upon us.
The cover photo finds Spears, deliverer of Britney and Jamie Lynn, staring pensively out of a window, thinking on some unknown turbulence, surely considering how her daughters' money will help her carry on. And the tome's content is just as ridiculous.
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All has been quiet on the Britney front when it comes to her emotional recovery, which means it's time for people to start making up stuff. The latest rumor claims Brit suffered a mental breakdown after witnessing sister Jamie Lynn give birth.
After flying back to LA with her father Jamie, Britney spent the following days slowly breaking down and becoming "dazed and distant." Jamie finally found her one night naked on the bathroom floor, "crying hysterically and mumbling to herself about wanting a baby girl." A "source," who was obviously not there at the time, has all of the details of this incident:
Seeing her little sister give birth was too much for Britney. It made her realize what a mess she’s in. She’s insanely jealous of Jamie Lynn having a girl because she’s always been desperate for a daughter. Jamie found her sobbing her heart out and repeating: 'It’s not fair, Dad, it's not fair.'
If this is indeed true (and we highly doubt it is), then no wonder Jamie Lynn's hair was so gray for her OK! shoot.
[Source]
OK! is quickly leaving behind the world of celebrity gossip to instead report exclusively on celebrity babies, as seen on the cover of the mag's latest issue. After the horror of last week's 80-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears feature, the admittedly beautiful Jessica Alba and baby Honor were a nice welcome this week — until Jess and her dim husband had to open their mouths.
So who does Honor look more like? 'She looks like a girl version of me,' Cash says. 'She has my nose, my eyebrows and my…'
'Forehead and dimples,' Jessica finishes, adding, 'She has my mouth when I was a baby. And my ears.'
'Maybe Honor is a mixture,' Cash reconsiders.
Nothing gets past Cash — you picked a good one, Jess.
Editor
