Next Tuesday, Tyra Banks, ex-model and current host of an awkward, unfulfilling talk show, will be airing an interview with pop princess Janet Jackson. Jackson will be discussing her new album, Discipline, and then it looks like Tyra kicks her ass. Do tune in!
I recently talked with Janet Jackson for a magazine article I wrote. As I expected, her speaking voice made her sound like a mouse whispering through a cotton ball. What I hadn't planned on was how positively charming she'd prove to be. (Full disclosure: She said my name was "cool," so I'm not without my bias.)
Now, Miss Jackson (I'm nasty) surprises me yet again with this actually funny group of short MTV reality show spoofs. They all have their moments, but the Real World-esque freak out session is not to be missed.
As the clips are running on MTV, the station must know how terribly idiotic its programming is. This makes it willfully greedy, not willfully ignorant, which is much, much worse.
Despite telling Parade magazine that she is a marriage jinx, rumors are swirling that Janet Jackson is going to be walking down the aisle again.
Although the pop star has remained mum on her engagement to rapper Jermaine Dupri, she recently hit up designers like Badgley Mischka, asking for bridal gown samples. 'She's preparing for her private nuptials,' said one source.
We think it's best for celebrities to skip the whole marriage thing — it means no messy divorce proceedings later. But congrats, Janet! … We give it two years.
[Source]
• Happy Valentine's Day, lovers!
• Whaddya know! Editor Cord Jefferson interviewed Q-Tip and Janet Jackson and a bunch of other people for Filter's latest cover story on A Tribe Called Quest. Go out and buy it if you're aware of how amazing Tribe is! [Filter]
• The model from Kanye West's new video is now selling her "dirty panties" for $25 a pair. So, yeah, there's that. [DListed]
• Who is Amy Smart? Does she live up to her name? Was she in American Pie? [HT]
• The constant presence of paparazzi in Kate Moss' neighborhood has had a mitigating effect on local crime. To that, we have no response. [ICYDK]
• You, too, can look like Jennifer Aniston, and without the sad, sad eyes. [INO]
• Have you any interest in miniature spy guns? Sure you do. [CityRag]
• So, what's a "superdelegate"? [Wiki]
• Janet Jackson's new track has barely any Janet Jackson on it. Yay? Nay? [DListed]
• Are these the sexiest women of 2007? Maxim picked them, so probably not. [CityRag]
• That's not a monkey paw? [Yeeeah]
• Jessica Simpson's reverse Midas touch has proven too strong for even Luke Wilson's jawline. [ICYDK]
• Already pissy! Good luck with that one, Dad! [INO]
• Labor strikes are the new black. [PS]
• And here's why: Because strikes work! Damn the man. [EBG]
• "What do you want to do with your life?" [HT]
Click the photo above to watch an interview Tyler Perry and Janet Jackson did in support of their new movie, Why Did I Get Married. While the conversation should have been absolutely boring, one of the brilliant reporters decided to ask Jackson about her "wardrobe malfunction." A timely question considering the incident of which he speaks only happened about four years ago. As one would expect, he gets no response, awkwardness is shared by all and, once Perry and Jackson are dropped from the live feed, the man bravely proclaims he expected some answers. Hard hitting!
Look! It's me, Cord, with Trent from Pink Is the New Blog. (Search Mollygood on Wikipedia and it takes you to his entry. Weird, but I'm too indifferent to change it.) Where did this meeting of the typists occur? At In Touch magazine's fifth anniversary party. There was much to behold, and we beheld all of it. Boy did I dance badly, but to what I can't remember on account of being slightly tipsy. Drinking is an absolute necessity when swimming with the heeled and hatted sharks that attend these things. After the jump, the stories!
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What better way to remember a self-loathing, angry, gay, deposed senator than with a self-deprecating, funny, gay dance track? It's no "Nasty," but give it a chance. And keep your fingers crossed for heavy rotation in West Hollywood.
Holy cluster fuck, Pap Man!
I haven't seen such a hodge podge of celebrities since May of 1988: the last Battle of The Network Stars. Last night's post-VMA party at TAO wasn't a battle, but there may have been some casualties.
See what happens when Jermaine Dupri, Nelly and Travis Barker are picked to host an MTV party and celebrities stop being polite - and start getting drunk.
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Diminutive producer Jermaine Dupri has reportedly said he's intentionally pitting girlfriend Janet Jackson against extravagant screecher Mariah Carey in a charts war scheduled for next year. Adding jerk to stupid, Dupri will be producing Mariah Carey's album, leaving production duties of Janet's record up to friend LA Reid. Quote Dupri, "I'm going to do Mariah, and we're going to make it seem like we're in competition to see who's going to have the biggest album of the year." I'm sure Janet's really excited about this. And I'm sure women everywhere are excited to know that male puppet masters still get a kick out of playing with their dolls every once in a while.
[Source]
Gary Dourdan! For shame! I don't know if the above video is evidence that you "beat the living crap" out of anyone like TMZ claims you did, but it definitely proves you acted like fucking jerk. What happened to the gentle soul with the soft caress and easy demeanor from the "Again" video? CSI: isn't even cool, m'man.
Reminisce about a kinder, gentler Gary after the jump.
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• Harry Potter has groupies. Let's hope he uses a condom spell. [DListed]
• How to save face after License to Wed spit in it. [BWE]
• Methinks this dude's gotta drop a lot of his first name to keep her pleased. [ICYDK]
• She can't even steal good songs. [Yeeeah]
• Who's that holding that nasty camera? [CityRag]
• This model's everywhere. I think she likes sampling different local cuisines. [HT]
From today's Page Six:
Is there a beef between Madonna and Janet Jackson? Madge was chummy with fellow singer Shakira at Butter Monday night (our spy said they showed up "hand in hand") and was spotted dancing on banquettes with Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Penelope Cruz. But Jackson was holed up a few booths down and, "She was not invited to join Madonna's crew," said an onlooker…
Two people in the same industry didn't hang out together so it should assumed that "beef" exists? If one accountant sees another accountant at a bar and doesn't invite him over is there "beef"? I think the only meat that was there was all that Kabbalah bologna.
There's more.
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Today, people will find it even more difficult to look at awkward twitcher Paula Abdul without laughing, as Page Six has obtained a tape of her having a complete breakdown. Here's the scoop:
Abdul, who seems to be talking to a group of publicists at some point during the last week, trashes her former rep, Howard Bragman; reveals she's dealing with challenging medical problems; and states she's had enough of the terrible treatment she receives from the "people who are supposed to be taking care of things."
She sobs on the tape: "I've never been treated this way and I've never seen anybody treated this way. This is just too much to stomach."
Ranting about Bragman, who apparently didn't appreciate her enough, the petite former pop star says: "I do a call-in every week for OK! Magazine on 'American Idol.' Because of my brilliant job, they want to do a cover on me. I'm being told by Howard Bragman that I'm too old and no one will ever want to do a cover.
"I don't understand how this man can call me a whining bitch. I've never in my life been called a whining bitch and a loser."
Badmouthing an ex-employee over speaker phone to a room full of people while shrieking "I don't understand how this man can call me a whining bitch"? Brilliant.
A secret Mollygood source revealed that Page Six actually didn't receive the whole recorded conversation. Here, exclusively, is the rest of her complaint:
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In honor of Mick Jagger and Warren Beatty showing their wrinkles at Hyde the other night, I've included these photos to give an idea of what the next generation of geriatric bar hoppers will look like.
They say this is intended to be 2037. If so, Justin Timberlake shouldn't look like that, nor should Avril Lavigne Paris Hilton should actually look worse, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is a widow in that photo.
[Source]
• Just move to LA, Tara Connor. You have no choice. [HollywoodTuna]
• John Mayer has one more Dundie than I do. Booo. [BWE]
• Traaaavvvv-Ooorrrccaaa out of water! [Splash]
• In case you haven't heard, it's cool to like Ben Affleck again. In fact, it's encouraged.[PopSugar]
• GI issues, Janet? [INO]
• Britney's dogs are fiiiine people, they're just locked in the basement with that second baby thing. [DListed]
• Martha Stewart keeps her vibrator very, very clean. [A Socialite's Life]
• Beyonce on Shakira action? Nice. [popbytes]
According to The Scoop Justin Timberlake has some residual beef with Janet Jackson and he may just be taking his aggression out through his craft. Above we have the video for Timbaland's new release "Give It To Me" featuring Timberlake and Nelly Furtado. A little after the 2 minute mark, Justin comes in with these lyrics:
“Could you speak up and stop mumbling?/I don’t think you came in clear/When you’re sitting on the top/it’s hard to hear you from way up there/I saw you tryin’ to act cute on TV/Just let me clear the air/We missed you on the charts last week/[Bleep] that’s right, you wasn’t there.”
Apparently this is a comment on Janet's appearance on Oprah where she said that Justin abandoned her after Nipplegate. Whatever, I'm too busy getting down (again, that usually means clenched fist shoulder shuffle laptop in lap) to get involved in this feud.
• Gwen Stefani's little Kingston already biting Maddox's style. So cute. [JustJared]
• Natalie vs. Scarlett: Round One. Fight. [PITNB]
• Kate Moss is wearing an engagement ring. Does that mean Pete Doherty spent money on something other than drugs? [PopSugar]
• The Hiltons need to stop opening their lady flowers for Brandon Davis. [X17]
• Guess where Janet Jackson went. [DListed]
• Check out this new Celeb Diet site, full of great tips. Or, if your me, a longer list of things you'll never have the motivation to do. [Celeb-Diet]
Editor
