Here's someone we don't hear from often: Jean-Claude Van Damme. The Muscles From Brussels, as Wikipedia calls him, is (happily?) married, but that doesn't stop him from hitting on poor Newsweek reporters during interviews about his latest film creation. It's glorious, and almost akin to watching animals mate. You know you should look away, but you can't. See his Mystery-worthy technique after the jump.

Bonus: While searching on Mollygood for previous Jean-Claude items, I came across this old school post, which has become the greatest gift I've ever unintentionally received (video also after the jump). Enjoy.

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Actor Michael Madsen, best known for portraying violent psychopaths in bloody Quentin Tarantino films, was taken by ambulance to a London hospital recently after incurring injuries during a physical altercation with his wife.

Our initial reaction: Of course Michael Madsen fistfights his wife—look at him.

Click through for four more obvious domestic abusers.

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Considering your date, I'd say "Ground 'n' Pound."

PS That guy's Chuck Zito, and his claim to fame is bashing in Jean-Claude Van Damme's face at a strip club. Why do violent guys always hang out with plastic girls? What's that all about?

There's more.

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In honor of the Cannes Film Festival currently in progress, I have been scouring the internet for Cannes video butterflies to release out of their cocoons onto you. After a lengthy YouTube session I came upon this Jean Claude Van Damme beauty. At first I couldn’t stop watching the first ten seconds over and over and over again. The dancing! The rhythm! The slack-jawed facial contortions not unlike the ones I picture him making in the heat of passion!

This almost wasn’t enough to earn as spot in Morning Moving Picture, but then I listened all the way through the Frenglish (is that a word, it should be) interview and completely lost it during the last five seconds. Mid-sentence Jean Claude spots a beautiful woman, and, well, I’ll just let you hear his mating call for yourself.