What an adroit photographer to capture such a thorough and accurate depiction of fashion shows: Ugly, masturbatory, stupid, excessive and laughable. No wonder nobody goes to those things anymore.
[Source]
I'm almost certain that entering a contest to win free breast implants immediately places a person on a lower rung of the IQ ladder than the average citizen. But to be able to happily accept your prize from Jenna Jameson places you in a special ed class all your own.
She looks like Frankenstein's monster, lady! You want to emulate even a part of that? Imagine being asked to accept a prize of horse riding lessons from Christopher Reeve.
• Oh, I know you can dance. [CityRag]
• No, you're working on real estate projects, not sexy projects. And only your father gets aroused by buildings. [DListed]
• Jenna Jameson Update: Yep, still sad. [DS]
• MTV is now beating its creative staff to the punch and purposefully making itself shitty. [BWE]
• Why isn't using the flag to cover your ass and vagina considered defacing it? [HT]
• In England, she's called a "mum." See the difference? "Mum." [ICYDK]
• Madonna keeps getting diva-er. [Yeeeah]
Breasts that sag and have stretch marks are about ten million times better than those plastic balls of goo Pamela Anderson and Jenna Jameson like to flaunt around Miami. The teardrop shape is the best part, as it lets you know they're real, and real is better than fake when talking about everything except fur.
The funniest thing about guys who don't mind when girls have huge, fake tits is that they are the same dunces whose hearts get broken when they find out some jock idol of theirs takes steroids. Get a clue, dipshits!
Jenna Jameson was a guest at this past weekend's Life Party in Vienna, using her celebrity to raise money for and heighten awareness about AIDS research. Event organizers said Jenna was a perfect choice to be a featured celebrity at an AIDS benefit, because just looking at her reminds one to not do drugs or have unprotected sex.
[Source]
• It seems sports might be more interesting if we could get some drunk action stars on the mic! [BWE]
• Clean porn mess. [HT]
• Why was the high school band there? [ICYDK]
• Some people get so touchy about the Holocaust. [Jossip]
• Unlike Emeril, Rachael Ray likes to kick things down a notch. [CityRag]
• Coloring The View. [SH]
• Paris Hilton autopsy. Not what you think. [Yeeeah]
• Brown v Board of Education five decades later. [Economist]
The id crew—Hit, Fuck and Relax—got together last night to celebrate Jenna's birthday at what looks to be a fairly stodgy affair, especially considering the guests were porn stars and prize fighters.
Is Tito's ascot bringing everyone down? Nope, that's just his black undershirt poking through and screaming, "Normally I wear shorts and the blood of others!" Tito, you say casual and comfortable, I c'est faux pas.
[Source]
Jenna Jameson is learning the hard way—does she ever learn the easy way?—that, despite being the idol of many women, a lot of her male fans fail to see her as more than blond tits and ass flesh. And, as said flesh gradually withers, she's seeing her fan base follow suit.
Jameson, who reportedly underwent a botched and career-threatening vaginoplasty operation, has lost so much weight that she's almost unrecognizable and was a disappointment to fans at last weekend's Exxxotica convention in Miami Beach.
According to one insider, "She was contractually supposed to show up for a total of six hours in two days yet arrived late both days and blew off the event 45 minutes early on the second day of her appearance."
The source continued, "When fans openly asked her about her [botched surgery] and why she was so thin, her people cut them off. But she shouldn't be standing in front of an old photo of herself when she's about 40 pounds skinnier than she was."
She left the event early with her martial-artist boyfriend, Tito Ortiz, when she saw that rival porn star Tera Patrick had a longer line of waiting fans than she did.
What a surprise that porn convention attendees were asking gauche questions and exhibiting very little patience for Jenna's personal trials, huh? Since when did men stop respecting the women they jerked off to while watching Dirty Bob's Xcellent Adventures 35?
Slightly more real Real Doll, Jenna Jameson, is reportedly the sad owner of a vagina that's a little worse for the wear.
X-rated flick chick Jenna Jameson has annoyed Hollywood heavyweights who want to turn her best-selling book, "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star," into a movie. "She hasn't been showing up for meetings" with a major production company interested in "Porn Star," a source claims.
But Jameson should be forgiven. Our source says the gorgeous blond, who has to look good from head to toe professionally, has had a little work done "down there" - and is not pleased with it.
"She underwent a vaginoplasty at a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and she is very unhappy," said the source, who added, in perhaps an unfortunate choice of words, "she has decided to hole up and not speak to anybody. The producers are about to pull the plug on the movie," which would be a mainstream production.
When the person your biopic's going to be glamorizing isn't showing up for shit because her vagina's been pummeled into oblivion, thus leading her to get a surgery normally reserved for women who have had multiple children, perhaps it's time to rethink the necessity of the project.
[Source]
• Nicole's just hypoglycemic, guys. I don't buy it for a minute, but that publicist just earned his bonus for using his BlackBerry to google "tired +weak +dizzy -anorexia" just in the nick of time. [PopSugar]
• I thought criminals couldn't profit off their crimes? [DListed]
• Katie Holmes is just figuring out Tom's controlling. Tom says it's too late, because on his planet, weddings make her his property until the rapture of 2135, when all will obtain clarity. [INO]
• Jenna and her ex are battling on MySpace. His opening jab: "PREACH ON BITCH Blah Blah Blah…" And the wit continues. [ICYDK]
• TRL is now Total Request Taped. Hopefully soon it will be Total Request Gone. And then we'll have Total Request Forgotten. [Jossip]
• Vivica A. Fox was arrested for a DUI, after the new season of Dancing With the Stars reminded her of all the glory that might have been. [TMZ]
• Alright, now she's gotta cop to the tape, but Kim insists there was still no peeing. [CW]
• Isaac Brock starting early with the antics. Sorry Isaac, Iggy Pop made cutting oneself not shocking. [ONTD]
• The new guy on The Bachelor is a military doctor. Thankfully, these days there's really not anything more important a MILITARY DOCTOR could be doing. [Glitterati]
• Evangeline Lilly is the sexiest woman on television? [ICYDK]
• Ashley Judd being helpful in India. [INO]
• Pamela gets vague about Tommy Lee. [Jossip]
• Brit's out of 'hab and still in a wig. [ASL]
• Scarlett making elegant evening wear look like Baby Phat. [Egotastic]
• Poor choice of words: Jenna "busted her ass" for her fame. [DListed]
• This American Life starts on TV tomorrow! Can you tape it for me? [NYT]
The problem is, when the terrorists fantasize about blowing up America, these are the types of people they're thinking about: A tremendously rich, vapid bitch who has no idea how fortunate she is and no inclination to learn; a sad, plastic toy who has made a fortune off of her vagina and a huge, aggressive prick so into beating people up that his shirt has a fist on it next to the word "PUNISHMENT". The terrorists don't take into account the other millions of kind people that compose our country, they only consider these fuckers.
Aside from the violence, the main reason to hate Osama bin Laden is that he thinks you're no better than Paris Hilton.
People are shopping around more pictures of this fateful evening; the last night of excess prior to Britney's subsequent rehab stints.
Things are about to go from bad to worse in the saga of Britney Spears. While the beleaguered pop princess is holed up in rehab, celeb snipers are bidding on pics of the fading star's bare behind.
The asking price for the shots - which show Britney playing dress-up with two dancers at New York's nightclub One Feb. 12 - currently hovers at $150,000.
But even more damaging is video footage that may follow - Britney's dancer buddies are telling friends that the club let them go when management discovered a security video of them doing some serious partying with the mother of two.
Said another source, "If that thing goes on the Internet, there's going to be big trouble. It might be what they need to take [Spears'] kids away from her."
$150,000 for pictures of her bare ass? Is everyone forgetting that there's pictures of her vagina everywhere? Shopping around pictures of bare buns once crotch shots are out there is like trying to add jaywalking to the list of charges at the Nuremberg Trials. Do you have any Jenna Jameson nip slips, fellas?
PS What's on that tape? I bet it's just everyone blowing lines, which is sad, because there was a time when "serious partying" meant something.
[Source]
• Jenna Jameson just keeps getting butchered. She's also still dating Magilla Gorilla. [Egotastic]
• Britney taking it up another notch with a hit list. [IDLYITW]
• Angelina's the sexiest person in the whole world. A basic cable channel in the UK deems it so. [Glitterati]
• Kate and Owen riding bikes. That's pretty much it. You don't even have to look at the pics. [JJ]
• Sheryl Crowe dating Moe. [Jossip]
• Brit's first husband striking while the iron's hot. [ICYDK]
• James Blunt mows down an autograph seeker. That's what he gets for seeking an autograph from James Blunt. [ASL]
• Antonio Sabato Jr. simulating sex with a man in denim cutoffs. Sorry, ladies. [DListed]
• Jenny McCarthy emulating Jenna Jameson. Great idea to look to her for tips. [HT]
• Mandy Moore says she's "not a toothpick" like Nicole Richie. Uh oh! The fur's gonna fly! [JJ]
• Jessica Simpson being irritating and loud. Par for the course at this point, folks. [INO]
• Brandy was drunk on heartbreak at the time of her accident. Oh no! [Celebitchy]
• Christina Ricci too thin! Where's the chubby Wednesday I so adored? [PopBytes]
• Diddy being wise and buying his seven-week-old daughters diamond earrings they're sure to appreciate and enjoy. [ASL]
• Oscar nods roundup. Seriously, Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson is amazing. Seriously. [US]
• Here's some current Jared Leto shenanigans. [NYP]
• Thought it couldn't get any worse? Well, Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton have been asked to star in a reality show in which virginal men attempt to have sex. See, it just got worse. [WWTDD]
• A plastic surgeon has gone on record saying that he thinks Britney Spears has aged her body by ten years in only three. So she's in 2014!? The secret to time travel is booze and smokes, guys! [ASL]
• Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams married or splitsville? [TheBosh]
• Peter Doherty not pissing his life away. [NYT]
• Heather Mills says that she never asked for $63 mill. "All I want," she claims, "is the pound of flesh I'm rightfully owed." [People]
Jenna Jameson has requested that Scarlett Johansson play her in a biopic based on her bestseller How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale.
Jenna is currently in talks with producers and hopes filming will begin next year.
The X-rated actress told Britain's FHM magazine, "We're looking hopefully at Scarlett Johansson. She's my choice. I think she's beautiful."
Scarlett has already vowed to strip off for the cameras if the right role comes along, saying last year, "I'm not opposed to doing nudity - it would just have to be the right project."
There's certainly been plenty of nudity in Jenna's life - the racy star has appeared in around 100 porn films and is one of the highest paid adult actors in the world.
She may be ten years younger than 32-year-old Jenna, but sultry Scarlett, 22, already shares the porn queen's sex symbol status. "The Black Dahlia" star, who is famed for her curvy figure, was voted Sexiest Woman Alive by readers of men's magazine Esquire last year.
Both actresses also have trademark blonde hair and are renowned for their glamorous image.
So true. Whenever I think of Jenna Jameson I always think of what a "glamorous" life she has led. What, with all the meth and the rapes and the drug-addled boyfriends who would steal her money. Sounds like every girl's dream. And another thing: being willing to do "nudity" is all well and good, but this isn't Natalie-Portman-in-a-thong-in-Closer nudity. Scarlett needs to realize that she would be portraying the star of films like this, this and—my personal favorite— this. Yikes.
[Source]
Editor
