Miley Cyrus shut down Disneyland Sunday in celebration of her 16th birthday … which is on Nov. 23. Why she wanted to celebrate seven weeks early is beyond us, but the teenager has more money than any of us will see in our lifetimes, so who are we to argue with her logic? The party featured a performance by father Billy Ray Cyrus and four songs from Miley. This sounds awful.

Guests in attendance included Miley's 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston, David Archuleta, Steve Carell, Jennie Garth, Cindy Crawford and Jennifer Love Hewitt. We just lost a bunch of respect for JLH, because the other celebs have children — what was her excuse? Tyra Banks was also reportedly at the shindig but wasn't photographed. Um, what? Is Ty Ty OK? We don't believe this for a second. Why would she show up to a 16-year-old's birthday party if there wasn't a photo op in it for her?

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I'll admit that I never watched the original 90210 (I know, I know), so the revelation of the father of Kelly's baby really didn't provide much suspense for me. I do, however, know that the original characters are the only reason this new version of the show is mildly popular, and the rest of you are likely on the edge of your computer chairs in anticipation. For the answer, watch the end of the provided clip. (Spoiler alert, obviously.)

Sad news for 90210 fans: Shannon Doherty announced that her character, Brenda Walsh, only filmed four episodes and is unable to stick around for more due to other projects. Um, Shannon? We're not the actors here, but it's probably wise to stick with what works, and Brenda Walsh will always work. This TV pilot you're working on will either a) not get picked up or b) get the axe after one season. If you don't believe us, the series is titled The Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon. That says enough.

To see how she did on the pilot episode of the new 90210, watch at left.

In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.

Today's Someone Haiku winner is Sugar Magnolia:

It was more like a
Grateful Dead Tour. She went from
gingham to tie dye

Very well done.

New one under here.

CONTINUED »

Shannen Doherty on fellow 90210 alumnus Jennie Garth competing on Dancing With the Stars:

She is amazing. Ian (Ziering) did great on it and Jennie is doing great on it…Dancing with the Stars actually offered it to me the very first one that they did and I have an issue being judged—I’m not a big fan of it. But I love the show.

What a mean compliment, Heather.