Yankees d-bag Alex Rodriguez and musical d-bag Madonna had a "meeting of the minds," if you will, last week at Jerry Seinfeld's mansion in the Hamptons. And, because these two losers can't do anything quietly, it was a huge James Bond-like production.
A chopper carrying the Yankee slugger was seen landing in East Hampton, where he was picked up in a white Porsche 911 matching the description of Jessica [Seinfeld]'s car. Less than 40 minutes later, another helicopter that took off from Chelsea Piers with Madonna aboard landed at the same airstrip.
'A dark SUV and Jerry in another Porsche both pulled up and picked up Madonna and they headed back to Jerry's place,' a witness told us. … 'About four hours later, the dark SUV left the house and took them all back to the airport.'
We did not need to know any of this. Seriously, the images haunting our mind right now are worse than that freaky clown from a few posts below.
[Source]
MICROSOFT DROPS SEINFELD "Remember those awful Microsoft ads with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates? Well, now you can forget them. Microsoft flacks are desperately dialing reporters to spin them about 'phase two' of the ad campaign — a phase, due to be announced tomorrow, which will drop the aging comic altogether. Microsoft's version of the story: Redmond had always planned to drop Seinfeld. The awkward reality: The ads only reminded us how out of touch with consumers Microsoft is — and that Bill Gates's company has millions of dollars to waste on hiring a has-been funnyman to keep him company."
IN INAPPROPRIATE CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT NEWS "Microsoft’s new $300 million advertising campaign has been kept tightly underwraps but word has spread that Jerry Seinfeld will be one of the key celebrity pitchmen. The Wall Street Journal reports that Seinfeld will appear with Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates in ads and receive about $10 million for the work. The new ad effort is expected to use some form of the slogan 'Windows, Not Walls,' several people familiar with the matter told the Journal. The campaign, said to debut Sept. 4, is one of the largest in the company's history."
HOW ABOUT 'BAD ACTOR'? "Jerry Seinfeld claims a cookbook author is cooking up some fancy semantics by calling him an actor rather than a comedian to minimize the humor in statements she says defamed her. Lawyers for Seinfeld say Missy Chase Lapine's lawyers resorted to the switch in words to describe Seinfeld when several weeks ago they filed a rewritten version of her lawsuit against him and his wife in U.S. District Court in Manhattan. 'Jerry Seinfeld is an enormously wealthy and well-known actor,' Lapine's revised lawsuit said. The original had called him a comedian."
It has descended upon us: The Sex and the City movie premiered last night in New York City, much to the delight of … Eli Manning? He was one of the guests in attendance, for reasons unknown, at the type of over-the-top shindig that should only be reserved for stuff like the second coming of Xenu.
The pictures (and there are many) are after the jump. CONTINUED »
Is that cherub-faced Matthew Broderick every going to stop looking like he's happy he was able to pull a fast one on the principal?
[Source]
A 2006 census found that Israeli Jews were converting to Islam in record numbers. Last night, Jerry Seinfeld and his wife, Jessica, dined with threatening zealot Tom Cruise and his cherished property, Katie Holmes. We won't connect the dots for you, but allow us to be the first to say be strong, Jerry!
[Source]
Celebrities make too much money. Subjective, sure, but probably true. Truer still is that very often those fortunes are wasted in inglorious, ill-planned blazes.
But sometimes the millions serve a higher purpose; sixth homes declined in favor of the public that makes a celebrity a celebrity. Yet where are those figures in Star and the National Enquirer?
Screw Birkin bags, time for money that counts: political donations.
CONTINUED »
• Study this with a fine-toothed desperation to see a whole boob. (Recommended only for 13-year-old boys) [Defamer]
• For some reason, rape jokes just aren't playing well with the ladies. [DListed]
• Field guide to Hollywood's hottest cougars. Don't go to the nursing home without it. [BWE]
• Rachel Bilson all rosy cheeked and boring. [HT]
• Drop in the bucket. [ICYDK]
• Demi and Ashton at How the Power of a Single Wish Can Waste Your Time. [Yeeeah]
• Poor attempt at Garbage Pail Kids. Sorry, but they are. [CityRag]
• Oh, that's why I always cry! [HE]
• Stand by your much more successful friend so that Jay-Z might look favorably upon you when you next need a producer. Right? [DListed]
• Avril Lavigne says she wants to act, clearly forgetting that that's what her entire persona is. [ICYDK]
• The problems start with the hat and they keep going to the annoyed old lady technique of umbrella-as-weapon. [CityRag]
• Pamela Anderson and that damn magician, again. That goddamn Aryan magician haunts my private moments! [DS]
• Bee Movie does have A-list support. [PopSugar]
• Jessica Alba apparently likes her sex like she likes her film roles: absolutely meaningless. [HT]
Cheers to Jerry Seinfeld for being willing to "poke" (Eh? Eh? Come on!) fun at himself in a giant bee costume at Cannes. Though one would be surprised at how pulling in $108 million a year makes it markedly easier to stomach behaving like a complete ass in front of all your colleagues on the French Riviera.
[Source]
The inherent tenacity and patience within this video is astounding. They must have gone through dozens and dozens of episodes to create this, but the time and effort are so well worth it. If you've already seen this, I doubt you'll mind seeing it again.
PS If you're really offended by the Michael Richards racist incident, so much so that you think nothing funny can come of it, I suggest not watching this and chilling the hell out.
• John Travolta. Print. Tape on fridge. Never eat again. Voila. Miracle Diet. [CityRag]
• Gwen Stefani is wearing this dress to cover up baby weight. What's your excuse, Paris? [Faded Youth]
• My question is, what are they doing with the once-used toilet seats that Madonna insists are changed every single night. I smell eBay spree. [A Socialite's Life]
• David Arquette should chill on the paparazzi attacking, it's okay that we see him when he's not dressed like an a-hole. [The Superficial]
• In the neverending quest for the perfect puffy shirt, Nicole Kidman has a close runner up to Jerry's pirate blouse. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Donna Martin gets the shaft. [DListed]
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