Yankees d-bag Alex Rodriguez and musical d-bag Madonna had a "meeting of the minds," if you will, last week at Jerry Seinfeld's mansion in the Hamptons. And, because these two losers can't do anything quietly, it was a huge James Bond-like production.

A chopper carrying the Yankee slugger was seen landing in East Hampton, where he was picked up in a white Porsche 911 matching the description of Jessica [Seinfeld]'s car. Less than 40 minutes later, another helicopter that took off from Chelsea Piers with Madonna aboard landed at the same airstrip.

'A dark SUV and Jerry in another Porsche both pulled up and picked up Madonna and they headed back to Jerry's place,' a witness told us. … 'About four hours later, the dark SUV left the house and took them all back to the airport.'

We did not need to know any of this. Seriously, the images haunting our mind right now are worse than that freaky clown from a few posts below.

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It has descended upon us: The Sex and the City movie premiered last night in New York City, much to the delight of … Eli Manning? He was one of the guests in attendance, for reasons unknown, at the type of over-the-top shindig that should only be reserved for stuff like the second coming of Xenu.

The pictures (and there are many) are after the jump.

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A 2006 census found that Israeli Jews were converting to Islam in record numbers. Last night, Jerry Seinfeld and his wife, Jessica, dined with threatening zealot Tom Cruise and his cherished property, Katie Holmes. We won't connect the dots for you, but allow us to be the first to say be strong, Jerry!

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