SHOCK JOCK GETS THE GIRL "Howard Stern and his longtime girlfriend Beth Ostrosky were married in New York City on Friday night, according to guests who attended the celebration. The guest list for the wedding, held at the restaurant Le Cirque, included Joan Rivers, Barbara Walters, Billy Joel and wife Katie Lee, Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman and Stern's radio co-host, Robin Quivers. Stern, 54, and Ostrosky, 36, were joined in a ceremony officiated by Mark Consuelos, the husband of Kelly Ripa, who also attended. Billy Joel sang two songs, and Chevy Chase delivered a raunchy roast, said one guest."
Just when I think Ice-T can't get any more offensive, he goes and compares his wife to a sports car. On a family game show. In front of his mother-in-law. Host Al Roker seemed surprisingly unfazed by the show of misogyny, though. The "Ice-T Family" competed against Joan Rivers and Co. on Celebrity Family Feud last night. The families play for charities — Ice-T's was a gang prevention program and Joan Rivers' was a charity that gives guide dogs to the blind. You don't have to watch until the end of the episode to know that a few blind people woke up in really good moods this morning.
The first topic was "something that's slippery and hard to hold onto." You know where this is going.
• You would think with as much experience as she has terrorizing television audiences, Joan Rivers would grasp the concept of live TV. [QT]
• She's come so far: Britney Spears is allowed to be around wildlife without a huge tranquilizer gun nearby. [ICYDK]
• Rod Stewart is still in the baby-making business. Hope you weren't eating lunch. [INO]
• PETA has moved on to harassing Jessica Simpson. Unfortunately, Jess can hardly pronounce PETA, let alone understand what the organization does. [DListed]
• Remind me to set aside some time to stalk Ryan Gosling while he's in NYC. [PS]
• Remember sassy Danny Noriega? Well, he may be back to spread Christmas cheer all over the American Idol tour. [ITH]
• Good news: The spammers aren't just attacking Mollygood. Bad news: They still make us want to own a weapon. [Jossip]
• Ashlee Simpson is staying on track to becoming the next Joan Rivers. [DListed]
• Fergie's rep says she's not preggers, which means the singer is still the only one in the family allowed to pee her pants. [Us]
• Lucy Liu wants you to start paying $1 for tap water at restaurants so she can help African children. Because she has no money to donate herself. [ICYDK]
• Wearing Jessica Simpson's shoes? Pete Wentz never really recovered from that whole suicide attempt thing. [TR]
• Lauren Conrad says Us Weekly misrepresented her with this week's cover story. Heidi, meanwhile, is going over her script for next week's "exclusive." [ONTD]
A leaked image of the crystal skull from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has made its way to our inbox, and here it is. It looks like Joan Rivers! (Does she have her own kingdom?) Spooooooooooky.
From Joan Rivers' not-at-all-tiresome Emmys liveblog:
Sally Field said that If Mothers ruled the world, there would be no goddamned war. Tell that to Eleanor Roosevelt, that old dyke, and Mary Todd Lincoln, that crazy old dyke!
Oh, Joan! Is your frontal lobe now also in your lips?
More crazy, young "dykes" under here.
CONTINUED »
When I was younger I couldn't understand my dad's obsession with Sophia Loren. While I was ogling pictures of swimsuit models, he was watching Man of La Mancha and telling me one day I'd "understand." Of course, turns out he was right.
Last night, Loren was honored at a banquet in Sydney, and she showed up with leathery skin, sun-spotted breasts and giant prescription glasses; and she still looked beautiful. I've said this before, but it's worth saying again: There is appeal in a willingness to be unappealing. "Well, I'm old and can't see very well, so I'm going to wear my glasses," I imagine she says, "who cares if they magnify my eyeballs to the size of lemons?" Her eyes are fucked, but her confidence is 20/20.
Women like her make women like Joan Rivers even more intolerable, sad and gross.
More after the jump.
CONTINUED »
Editor
