• It's a good thing Joaquin Phoenix decided to retire from acting, because he needs to go back to school. [Yeeeah]
• Former Bachelorette/famewhore DeAnna Pappas has called off her reality show-inspired engagement. Who here is surprised by this? [ICYDK]
• We can't figure out if Enrique Iglesias is being insecure or realistic. [INO]
• A gallery of all the celebrity offspring dressed up in their Halloween costumes, because trick or treating is way more fun with the paparazzi in tow. [PS]
• Amanda Bynes spent too much time in the tanning booth. [HT]
• Amy Winehouse checked out of the hospital last week and checked back in today. Nothing to see here, folks. [DListed]
Joaquin Phoenix, whom we can no longer look at without thinking of Johnny Cash, used a Paul Newman benefit to announce his retirement from acting. As you do.
I want to take this opportunity … to give you the exclusive and just talk a little bit about the fact that this will be my last performance as an actor. I'm not doing films anymore. … I'm working on my music. I'm done. I've been through that.
We have a feeling this "retirement" is going to stick the same way it did for Brett Favre and Michael Jordan.
[Source]
New research calls into question a study suggesting circumcision halves a man's chances of contracting HIV, a claim detailed at length in 2006 in this former "Most E-Mailed" New York Times article. According to one expert, the latest data shows the 2006 findings to be "spurious and unsupported" and more related to behavior than physicality. Whoops.
Sorry you got such a bad rap, hooded friends. To make you feel more included, after the jump, we've made a list of all your ALLEGEDLY uncircumcised brethren in Hollywood.
CONTINUED »
Nice one, Marky Mark!
You used to be PT Anderson material, man. What happened to that guy? We're now officially hoping your juvenile, homophobic hang-ups have relegated you to a lifetime of bad-cop sidekick roles and frattastic, high-five fests like Entourage. Leave the acting to the actors.
[Source]
• LOL, indeed. [PITNB]
• No more masculine musicals! They're oxymoronic and moronic. [DListed]
• Cigarettes and jet skis would be a good name for an electroclash band if anyone listened to electroclash anymore. [PS]
• It's time for the porn awards; also know as the Oscars for Victims of Sexual Abuse. [HT]
• Mischa Barton makes history and takes responsibility for her actions. [INO]
• YIKES: "Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears has been dumped by boyfriend Casey Aldridge because he doubts he is the father…" [ICYDK]
• Madonna's bottled water is even more stupid than everyone else's bottled water. [Yeeeah]
• Vinyl records are exactly 87 percent cooler than MP3s. [CityRag]
Gwyneth Paltrow, that buoyant matron once of the Upper East Side, was in Brooklyn yesterday!
The porcelain madame trekked across the East River to film a movie also starring Joaquin Phoenix. She must be so dedicated. Our boss won't even come into Brooklyn and he's a man. And not protestant looking. Though he is prettier than her.
• This girl's going to be famous, for the gays say it's so. Know her. [Queerty]
• Hallmark sends a "Screw You, You're an Idiot" card. Those are hard to find. [DListed]
• Joaquin Phoenix earning his keep as much as an actor can earn their keep. [PS]
• Jewel Breast Watch '07. [HT]
• Christina Ricci's hair looks like a cute li'l helmet. [INO]
• Lindsay Lohan will do a turn on Ugly Betty as a restaurant employee. Prescient? [ICYDK]
• Conan O'Brien's stalker is so much better than Jay Leno's stalker. [Yeeeah]
• Some bracelet of a famous person. Yay. [CityRag]
• Tutankhamun not quite the looker we expected. [AFP]
• Clearly, not all models are stupid. [DListed]
• New Spice Girls track less "Voodoo" more Sunday School. [EBG]
• Following the devastating California fires, Matthew McConaughey decides he wants a much more expensive Malibu home than the one in which he currently lives. Huh? [PS]
• A Playboy Bunny and Hugh Hefner! So creative, you two vapid schmucks! [HT]
• Before we chastise: Are we sure she's not handicapped? That might explain more than just this parking job. [ICYDK]
• A Julia Roberts interview that might reveal slightly more about Julia Roberts than you knew before! Whoa! Did you already know stuff about Julia Roberts? Double whoa! [INO]
• Oh, yeah, she's pregnant. [Yeeeah]
• Lookalikes! What fun. [CityRag]
For someone supposedly raised under the tolerant canopy of free love and unyielding peace, Joaquin Phoenix is oddly ornery.
Joaquin Phoenix…set a new standard for surliness with Time Out New York's Laura Leu the other day. When Leu asked by phone how he prepared for his role as a drug-addled nightclub manager in "We Own the Night," Phoenix responded, "I never prepare. I think that's completely overrated. It's a very simple job. All you have to do is . . . stand in the right spot and say the line. So I don't really believe in preparation."
He's actually right about that. Most "actors" are just posturing egoists who would starve if the world's trendy restaurants were shuttered. But then he gets downright rude.
CONTINUED »
• "…you really need to see is this clip to reaffirm, as I’ve said all along, that this is the best show on television." [BWE]
• I'm certain this woman is so very, very miserable to be around for even six seconds. [DListed]
• Lovely baby humps (bumps? lumps? rumps?). [INO]
• Why the gun eye? [ICYDK]
• Joaquin Phoenix with luggage that belies his hippie name. [PS]
• So, no real selling points left that aren't appendages, then? [HT]
• Sounds like she gave up the fight fairly easily. [Yeeeah]
• Amy Sedaris cooks with bong water! Food Network: Trillion dollar idea! [CityRag]
In the age of Photoshop and Botox and airbrushing and Tom Ford and styling wax and What Not to Wear, it's nice to see a man look like unfussy hell; and everyone knows ugly wins the Oscar. True, it would have been better if he had kept the harelip, but this is fine.
After the jump, more from the Reservation Road press conference.
CONTINUED »
Well, here's that video footage Page Six reported on last week. Newsflash: Lindsay Lohan does drugs (hard to believe, I know), and some weaselly backstabber in her inner circle obtained the grainy, questionable evidence to prove it; and just 20 days after Lindsay had checked out of rehab.
The source of the video revealed some other striking news:
"When she is on coke, which is most of the time, all the attention has to be on her. I have lost count of the number of times I have watched as she stripped naked in front of everyone. Then she loves to check herself out in the mirror as she parades around with her boobs hanging out."
But Lindsay is not only addicted to booze and drugs, she is also hooked on sex with some of Hollywood's hottest men, says our insider.
"She has told me that she has slept with James Blunt, Jude Law, Calum Best, Joaquin Phoenix, Benicio Del Toro, Jared Leto and James Franco," admitted the friend.
"She loves Brits and has told me she has slept with the singer James Blunt a few times over the past month.
"The last time was on April 15 after another house party. I think they went back to a hotel together afterwards. She is very protective over him and when she heard I had met him she sent me a text saying, ‘Stay away from him Bitch, he is mine.'"
More so than the fact that she does drugs, I find it shocking to discover that Lindsay actually argues over James Blunt.
PS If this news is at all "shocking" to you, you're sadder than and underage starlet blowing huge rails off of toilet seats with "her boobs hanging out."
[Source]
• Joaquin vs. The Apple: A Meeting Of The Minds. [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]
• Lindsay Lohan thinks your fuzzy dice are pretty f-ing wussy. [BWE]
• Ashlee is feeling a little big excluded from the substance abuse these days. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Tori Spelling has no shame. I kind of love it. [DListed]
• Jessica Simpson's 'Public Affair' was robbed. [GiggleSugar]
• You just know Paris Hilton has a bitchin' Stavros hairdoll waiting at home. [A Socialite's Life]
• Tyra Banks isn't a total spazz, she just plays one on reality TV. [Junkiness]
Editor
