So Saturday Night Live milked the last they could out of the election last night, during the "Live" Presidential Bash, which wasn't very live at all but, for the most part, pre-taped. Okay, whatever, Lorne. It's your reputation.
But as for the "guests" who stopped by, there wasn't an Obama or Biden to be seen! But you know who did try their hand at comedy, for the umpteenth time? You betcha… John McCain and Sarah Plain and Quirky.
Ha ha ha? That was more somber than funny, Palin. Especially the part where you threaten NBC with revoking their broadcasting license once you are sworn in as Vice President. Lady, you are terrifying.
Here's John McCain, not doing much better, after the jump.
The best part of last night's Saturday Night Live was actually a skit featuring Will Forte as a Halloween sexual predator, but stupid NBC won't release the video (much like the amazing Fancy Pants sketch from the season premiere). Instead, here's a clip of the opener, which parodied the Joe Biden and John Murtha remarks made at recent Obama rallies. It was fairly humorous, but not nearly as awesome as Kristen Wiig's tiny hands from a few weeks back.
On another note, why was Coldplay allowed to perform four times throughout the show? That seems a little unfair, no? If anyone has an explanation, feel free to enlighten us.
OK OK, one more thing and then we'll be done: Congrats to Amy Poehler, who had her baby Saturday night and was unable to make the show. Archie Arnett is the luckiest little boy in the world.
For this debate, for part of this next debate, do what I did for part of the last two debates. Literally, turn the sound off. I’m not being…I’m not joking now. Literally, turn the sound off. And just watch. Watch the body language of both men. You can sense it folks.
-Democratic vice-presidential nominee Joe Biden, on one way to enhance John McCain's crotchetiness. Interestingly, this is the same way Sarah Palin watches SNL.
Most assessments today of last night's presidential debate are grim. Under a picture of Barack Obama and John McCain squared off in Tennessee, the Drudge Report presented a single-word critique: "Boring." Politico is calling it the "worst debate ever."
We beg to differ. Instead, how about worst electorate ever?
After the jump, two glorious videos from two separate political rallies today.
First up, a clip of a baffling, career-ending gaffe at a Joe Biden event in Tampa, followed by footage from a Pennsylvanian McCain-Palin rally, in which the Republican nominee for president makes one of the most chilling and revealing verbal missteps we've ever heard.
Sounds like everyone needs a damn nap.
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Sherri Shepherd, bless her heart, reared her slightly empty head today on The View to stand up to resident crazy Elisabeth Hasselbeck. The ladies' Friday show was pretaped, so today they threw in extra chirping about Thursday night's debate. Can you guess who Elisabeth thought did the best job? She tried to convince the other women, which is when Sherri "I haven't thought about whether the earth is flat or round" Shepherd got riled up and spewed some semi-coherent thoughts for the first time in her life. We never thought we'd say this, but: Good for you, Sherri!
The transcript of the smackdown is after the jump. Things got much more heated later in Hot Topics when the discussion turned to Obama's "terrorist ties," but asking someone to transcribe that mess is like asking someone to walk on water. It ain't happening. Hopefully there will be video for you later in the day.
Update: Video here. CONTINUED »
For all the talk about how fluffy and lacking in details (and discipline) the Vice-Presidential debate last week was, there was some interesting information that came forth. For example, Joe Biden spoke about how he approves of realistic intervention and would like to create a no-fly zone over Darfur. Sarah Palin then joined in and agreed with him, noting that she had supported Alaska's divestment from Sudan as a form of protest. "When I and others in the legislature found out that we had some millions of dollars in Sudan, we called for divestment through legislation of those dollars," Palin said at the debate. Unfortunately, this tidbit did not hold up to fact-checking.
Sarah Palin's folksy shtick loses its charm pretty quickly when she's using it to tell you to go fuck yourself. And if you're a liberal woman, telling you to screw off she is:
At a rally on Saturday in California, Sarah Palin offered up a rather jarring argument for supporting the Republican ticket. "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women," the Alaska Governor said, claiming she was quoting former Clinton Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.
The statement came after Palin had recounted [an experience at Starbucks] on Saturday: "I'm reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day… It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. … Now she said it, I didn't. She said, 'There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women.'"
As if basing her speeches off her mochas wasn't crazy enough, Palin prefaces the quote by saying it was "providential." See, God gave Palin that mocha cup so that she might better insult all the abortioning bitches standing in her way.
Ms Albright's quote is actually, "There's a special place in Hell reserved for women who don't help other women," which is completely different than what Palin said, but don't hold your breath waiting for tax-cheating Governor Palin to start worrying about accuracy.
Make the right decision in November, ladies, and then go to hell.
Video and Albright's response after the jump.
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Bless Tina Fey's heart. The only person who provides a positive in the whole Sarah Palin fiasco is the former SNL funny lady, who has graced the television show week after week to expose the vice presidential candidate's ignorance. This week was, of course, a spoof of Thursday's night's VP debates, and Fey nailed it, down to the constant usage of the word "maverick" and blatant disregard of the moderator's questions. And good news for the Palin crazies: The skit also ripped into Joe Biden.
Click through for the clip, along with the most bizarre skit of the night. (Kristen Wiig is a genius.) CONTINUED »
Is it elitist to believe candidates for the second highest office in the land should not be giving "shout outs" during their one and only opportunity to face down their direct opponents? If so, then we're elitist.
After the jump, what the polling data says in the wake of last night's showdown.
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Perhaps the best part of any presidential debate/State of the Union/political speech is the great fun in creating drinking games for the appropriate speakers. In college, every time George Bush would smirk, everyone would take a drink. Every time he stuttered, another drink. And terrorism mentions warranted a shot of whiskey.
So in preparation for the debates tonight, a lot of blogs have begun formulating their pre-fab list to getting wasted when Sarah Palin and Joe Biden take the stage.
Comedy Central's Indecision 2008 has perhaps the best rule yet, and we have a couple suggestions of our own.
Here's something new: A clip of Sarah Palin looking like an uninformed twit as she is asked fairly basic questions about politics. This scenario was brought up Tuesday, when we said Sarah couldn't name any Supreme Court cases, but the video shows she just can't name any with which she disagrees. Minor difference, but you know she couldn't even name a single one if she tried. Hell, she couldn't even name a newspaper when asked.
Compared to Joe Biden's intelligent, well-spoken answer, this lady is clearly out of her league. She's not the first politician to not give a direct answer — but she's just so bad at it, it's unbelievable.
Tonight, it's the debate you've all been kinda milling around and expecting for a few weeks now. Biden-Palin—yahoo!
In anticipation of the smackdown, here's an open thread to post questions you wish the candidates would answer. It's doubtful any of them will be asked this evening, but the exercise should be cathartic.
We'll begin: Mrs Palin, is it more thrilling to hunt wolves or old witches?
Boooo! Have you heard? The political analyst lady moderating tomorrow's vice-presidential debate, Gwen Ifill, is an African American writing a book about black politicians, one of whom is Barack Obama. Cheaters!!!!!
…Ifill of the Public Broadcasting Service program "Washington Week" is promoting "The Breakthrough," in which she argues the "black political structure" of the civil rights movement is giving way to men and women who have benefited from the struggles over racial equality.
…
In the Amazon.com promotion for her book, Ifill is described as "drawing on interviews with power brokers," such as Obama and former Secretary of State Colin Powell.
Wait, Ifill also profiles noted Republican Colin Powell in her Obama bible? Well never mind that. And never mind that she recently told the Associated Press that, even after all her book research into Obama, she "still [doesn't] know if he'll be a good president." We still say she's a Muslin liar in the tank for the Democrats. No doubt she's going to pick on Palin and ask her what Russia weighs on the moon or something, only to then turn around and play nice with Biden, her "brother's" friend. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Just kidding! God, doesn't everybody complaining that Ifill's biased know how scared and paranoid and kinda racist they sound? This woman's a professional, you loons. Yes, Sarah Palin's going to get creamed tomorrow, but that's not going to have anything to do with Gwen Ifill.
Ha ha ha ha! With this clip, we're of course setting ourselves up to be pyred by cranky do-gooders demanding we be "balanced" if we're going to be political. Sorry, do-gooders, but we just can't find any footage of Barack Obama or Joe Biden so obviously ducking questions about what they read.
To quote Kathleen Parker: "If BS were currency, Palin could bail out Wall Street herself."
HERE IT COMES "A son and a brother of Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr. (D-Del.) are accused in two lawsuits of defrauding a former business partner and an investor of millions of dollars in a hedge fund deal that went sour, court records show."
Haha! Both Senator John Kerry and Vice Presidential nominee Joe Biden accidentally called John McCain George W Bush in their speeches at last night's DNC. Aside from the first syllable, the two Republicans' names sound completely different from one another, but they're JUST SO DAMNED SIMILAR policy-wise, so it's easy to mistake one's creased, warmongering face for the other's.
We really hope neither Biden nor Kerry has to apologize for the "Freudian slips," even though at least one of them was probably intentional. (Hey, we're complete cynics at this point.)
For some reason, Obama's camp decided to share the news via text message at four o'clock in the morning on a Saturday; perhaps it was a clever nod to the "Who will answer the 3AM phone call?" ads.
We're off to enjoy Saturday now and suggest you do the same. And for the love of god, don't talk politics.
Editor
