I'm afraid I have some bad news, you guys. Brian, the accidental star of our weekly feature Reality Bytes, was eliminated on last night's episode of VH1's d-bag competition The Pick Up Artist. Take a moment to honor him in silence, please.
OK, now that the mourning process is over, let's celebrate Brian's time on our television sets. The happy-go-lucky contestant who had terrible luck with women used his weekly exposure to introduce some fabulous new phrases that we now employ in our everyday vernacular. He also truly wanted to change and learn how to present himself in a way that is attractive to women. Unfortunately, his constant need to admit that he loves pickle juice signaled his demise on the show. This led to an emotional departure in which Brian announced he was finally ready to kiss someone "instead of a mannequin … or a guy." Good for you, Brian. Good for you.
After the jump: Our top five favorite quotes from the man of the hour. He will truly be missed. CONTINUED »
There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who love Britney Spears and those who think she is plaguing our nation. For our readers who fall into the latter category and didn't enjoy her new music video for "Womanzier," perhaps you will find it tolerable with a little extra dose of Joel McHale. Seeing the Soup host wrapped in a towel with his little tuft of chest hair made us giggle uncontrollably and actually helped us sit through an entire clip of the video.
And on another note: Spaghetti Cat made an appearance after what is easily one of the most bizarre clips ever shown on The Soup. We were almost too busy reeling from the blue dog to notice our dear feline being wheeled onto the screen, but it was great to see he's doing well in light of his recent popularity. Click through for the clip. CONTINUED »
To be fair, when Matt Lauer had Robert Kennedy Jr. on his show to talk about the "Democratic activist's" new children's book, he probably thought it was going to be a breeze. But if there is one thing they teach you in Morning Show Journalism 101, it's that you never ask a Kennedy how a family member is doing. Because then you end up stuck in that uncomfortable position as The Soup's best clip of last week:
You may recall our celebratory post a few weeks back when it was reported that Denise Richards' dreadful reality show was canceled. We spoke too soon.
According to Denise, "it's coming back for another season" and they will begin filming in a few months. This confirms it: Despite the glorious savior Joel McHale, E! truly has absolutely not taste whatsoever. And this is coming from someone who can stomach a lot of bad television.
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We love Joel McHale for many reasons, one of them being his obsession with Spaghetti Cat. On last night's The Soup, he premiered a new movie trailer featuring our beloved feline alongside Joel's dog, Lou. It was, in a word, glorious.
The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet finally acknowledged the mystery that is Spaghetti Cat, the hungry feline who first popped up on the show unexpectedly a few weeks ago during a segment on binge drinking. Since then, America has fallen in love with SC, but we have never quite understood where he came from. Turns out Spaghetti Cat (who also answers to "Bowtie Head") is a real animal with an ability to eat food with utensils, thanks to his crazy owner. Impressive.
I would also like to take this moment to publicly apologize to my roommate, whom I yelled at two nights ago for actually thinking Spaghetti Cat was a real animal (yes, I talk about SC a lot, I'm in love). I still don't quite understand how a cat has shoulders, but that's part of Spaghetti Cat's charm.
• Joel McHale makes Heidi Montag's new video tolerable. [DListed]
• Kath and Kim is going to basically be a Britney Spears spoof, right? [PS]
• DMX plans to charm his way through the legal system. [ICYDK]
• Someone attempts to understand Mariah Carey. [CityRag]
• Amy Winehouse achieved every girl's childhood dream: The Worst Skin Award. [INO]
• Nobody wants to hear about Jessica Simpson's flatulence issues. [Yeeeah]
I just now got around to watching last Friday's The Soup, so forgive me if I'm late to the party, but the clip above is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. For reasons unknown, I seriously spent a good 10 minutes in a hysterical fit of laughter — even producing tears — that made my roommate a little concerned for my well-being. I won't say anything more, because I have a bad feeling this is going to turn out like those funny stories that aren't really funny because the person telling it can't stop laughing and building it up. I'll just let Joel do the talking.
• It's safe to say America Ferrera really hates Blake Lively. [DListed]
• Javier Bardem's mother proudly watched him strip before making it big in Hollywood. Um, OK? [ICYDK]
• Two of our favorite things combined. How did we not know about this earlier? [CityRag]
• Mmmmm, George Clooney. [PS]
• Matthew McConaughey plans to plant baby Levi's placenta in an orchard. In other news, we just vomited. [Yeeeah]
• James Franco should be President: "If you’re ever out of work, make a sign — 'Homeless, Please Help.'" [INO]
Our apologies for posting a second Anderson Cooper video in the same afternoon, but this moment is made of such greatness it deserves to be shared. Anderson shares with Kelly his reality TV viewing habits and then goes on to bash Dina and Ali Lohan, but the best part is where he references Joel McHale. The fact that Anderson Cooper watches The Soup just made our entire day.
The tool you see at left is named Jessie Godderz, one of the current houseguests on the reality competition Big Brother. CBS describes the 22-year-old body builder as "the all-American boy next door who graduated from high school in Iowa." Sure, except he's a massive tool who's caught the attention of The Soup because he is more in love with himself than should be allowed (you can watch that here). But the really endearing thing about Jessie is that the overachiever has already appeared on not one but two MTV dating shows, Exposed and Next. Good to know CBS is now in the business of picking up MTV's leftovers.
Click through for video of his appearances on both shows and prepare to fall in love with the obnoxious d-bag that is Jessie Godderz. (Spoiler alert: He takes his shirt off and flexes his muscles in both clips.)
Over the weekend, Keith Olbermann did not name Brooke Hogan one of his worst persons in the world, but he did pop up on E!’s The Soup to guest host a segment and give Joel McHale a breather.
In what is sure to be one of the most groundbreaking interviews of our time, Joel McHale stopped by Late Night with Conan O'Brien to discuss the really important matters, like the Kardashians and the art of Bedazzling. But what really makes Joel awesome is the fact that he isn't afraid to make comments like this about his own network: "E! will walk into a needle exchange and ask someone if they want their own show." (Which, to be fair, is accurate.)
Joel McHale, being awesome and discussing Tila Tequila:
She has so much whore in such a small body. I thought that show [A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila] would've jumped the shark two minutes in but when they ate the pig's vagina — oh man. I mentioned that during one of my comedy shows and people looked at me in horror. But I am just the messenger folks, this is what actually happened on television, in the afternoon, while your kids were watching.
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Apparently it's Joel McHale Day here at Mollygood, and we're OK with that because he trumps the Hogans/Spears/Lohans any day. Joel, who says he sometimes feels like he's "doing the Lord's work," gave an awesome interview with The A.V. Club where he provided many, many gems, chief among them this: "On Flavor Of Love, when a woman took a dump on the stairs, I mean, that's like J.R. being shot on Dallas, or like maybe the last episode of M*A*S*H. It's a milestone on television that's covered with chlamydia."
Seriously, he's our favorite celebrity ever. Click through for lots more. CONTINUED »
My future husband Joel McHale paid a visit to the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson for no apparent reason other than to make me fall in love with him all over again. I'd suggest waiting until the six minute mark, where he provides the most accurate description of Ryan Seacrest I've ever heard. CONTINUED »
Joel McHale, one of the few White House Correspondents' Dinner guests with whom we would have voluntarily shared a table, treated the event with as much respect as it deserved.
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Granted, The Soup is hilarious and irreverent and very well put together. But that being said, does anyone else worry that tons of great comedic parts are slipping through Joel McHale's fingers while he toils away on the same network that's hired Dina Lohan to run her ridiculous mouth? This man should be doing more than Burger King commercials.
After the jump, more pics of McHale at last night's premiere of The Hammer.
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