MONEY FOR NOTHING Hey, starving Americans, wanna be millionaires? Become famous failed hookers! "She had nixed a previous offer to do a Tila Tequila-style contest show for MTV, but Eliot Spitzer's tattooed honey [Ashley Dupre] was offered a new deal by LA reality-show producer David Krieff. Krieff approached Dupre two weeks ago after getting a letter of commitment from an entertainment network and a major studio, he told The Post. … 'It's a seven-figure deal,' said Krieff, the reality veteran who brought together Amy Fisher and the Buttafuocos for a TV special and did a similar pairing of rival ice queens Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding."

• Fergie's new single is an amalgam of Extreme, Pink and garbage (literal garbage, not the band). [DListed]

• Bud got busted with buds. [BWE]

• Joey Buttafuoco looks like butt. [Glitterati]

• I hope they didn't eat half an hour ago. [HT]

• Cameron says breakups hurt. Thanks for a scintillating interview I could have read in a middle school girl's bathroom. [ICYDK]

• Crow buys American. [Yeeeah]

• Demi wants Ashton to stop drinking? How 'bout first he concentrates on not being grating the instant you see his face. [CityRag]