So! Heard about this Ashley Todd, the young white Texas woman who says she was mugged, beaten and mutilated by an angry black criminal/Obama nut in Pittsburgh Wednesday night? Todd, a volunteer for the McCain campaign in Pennsylvania, says a six foot four, 200 pound black guy approached her at an ATM, put a knife to her throat and demanded the $60 she had just taken out. After giving the robber the money, Todd says he then became enraged over a pro-McCain bumper sticker on her car, prompting him to kick and punch her to the ground and carve a B (for black king Barack Obama) into her face.
Strangely, the wild assailant cut the B into Todd's cheek backwards, the same way she might have if she had cut it herself while looking in a mirror. And what a gentle knife mutilation! Not only does Todd not have to bandage the wound, she refused medical attention from police.
Things get even more plausible from there.
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EVERYONE IN MEDIA HATES MCCAIN We're all in the tank: "Media coverage of John McCain has been heavily unfavorable since the political conventions, more than three times as negative as the portrayal of Barack Obama, a new study says. Fifty-seven percent of the print and broadcast stories about the Republican nominee were decidedly negative, the Project for Excellence in Journalism says in a report out today, while 14 percent were positive. The McCain campaign has repeatedly complained that the mainstream media are biased toward the senator from Illinois."
America's favorite nightmares, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, paraded around LA Wednesday to scare people into voting for Barack Obama.
Spencer wore the glorious shirt you see at left while Heidi sported a tiny tank top that read, "Read My Lipstick: Vote McCain-Palin." Read my lipstick: No.
Props were also involved: A shotgun, a bottle of beer and a copy of You Can Profit From a Monetary Crisis. Somehow, we imagine this is not helping.
[Source]
NEW INSANE GOP ROBOCALL QUESTIONS OBAMA'S 'RADICALISM' "The Republican National Committee is sending out another round of automated anti-Obama calls that, somewhat remarkably, include segments from a controversial program that recently aired on Fox News. In text messages sent to voters, the RNC instructs recipients to call a number to 'know the facts' … Once dialed in, callers are read the standard text of the robocalls tying Obama to former Weather Underground member Bill Ayers. Then participants get a dose of the fair and balanced. The recording that viewers hear next is the final section of the 'Obama & Friends: The History of Radicalism' special program that ran recently on Fox News. That show, quite famously, featured Sean Hannity interviewing Andy Martin, an 'Internet journalist' who once called a judge a 'crooked, slimy Jew' and advanced the conspiracy theory that '[w]e have not seen a valid Obama birth certificate.'"
I'm not voting for that nigger, and I ain't no racist when I say that either.
-An anonymous West Virginian McCain supporter, on his benign views on McCain's black opponent
The rotund gent you see at right is being indicted in the city of New York for snatching a McCain campaign sign from the hands of a middle-aged woman, snapping it in half and then punching the GOP supporter, who's been described as "small" and "quiet," in the face. Witnesses to the assault said the man gave no indication as to why he was attacking the lady, to whom he said only, "You people are ridiculous!"
What a crazy man. But what's even crazier is this…
The View was awesome yet again this morning, thanks partly to Elisabeth waking up on the wrong side of the bed and also because of Whoopi's absence. Poor Barbara Walters had to mediate between Joy and Elisabeth, which was ineffective and led to one of the more intense shouting matches we've seen as of late.
The tension begins around the 4:00 mark, where Joy attempts to explain why Sarah Palin's likability has plummeted, which — of course! — Elisabeth takes personally and uses as an excuse to announce her respect for George W. Bush. Yeah, seriously. She believes W is the reason America has stayed safe from terrorism for the past seven years, but implies that the country will be blown to smithereens under an Obama presidency. Even Barbara takes issue with this, which leads to an even more glorious moment of Elisabeth getting snippy with her boss.
The segment ends — after much screeching — with Elisabeth offering Joy more "Obama kool-aid," because she's that mature. The only person who escaped this argument unscathed? Sherri Shepherd. What a strange, strange world this has become.
Joe Biden avoided dancing on a recent episode of Ellen, but Barack Obama wasn't so lucky during a remote taping for the show yesterday.
Hey trembling Americans who have allowed themselves to be pummeled into fearful submission by our government's vague terror alerts and arbitrary mentions of 9/11 (this means you, GIULIANI), have we got some news for you. Recently, Al-Qaeda terrorists endorsed their pick for president via some terrorist Web site (they have those?), and you might be surprised by their choice.
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Listen to how the subconscious insults are forgotten as soon as he says, "YOU GUYS LOVE AMERICA AND GOD!!!!"
[Source]
For all her apprehension about mingling with us snooty elites in the northeastern United States, with our iced coffee and our uncensored libraries, vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin sure loves our snooty, elite, northeastern department stores.
Politico breaks the news today that the Republican National Committee has spent $150,000 on clothing, accessories and makeup for the gunny Alaskan governor and her family since she joined the ticket in early September. Since then, single shopping outings for Palin et al have cost as much as $75,000 plus. Elite!
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Muslims voting for John McCain and his gun nut running mate are both courageous and rare, so one would imagine the Republican ticket would loudly herald the small constituency the way a botanist might a flower that blooms once a decade. One, it turns out, would be wrong. For their willingness to both see past the GOP's brass-bound ties to Israel and brave the hate pits of monkey dolls and epithets that McCain and Palin are calling rallies, Republican-voting Muslims are repaid with a whole lot of "get the fuck away from us before people think we support terrorism!"
To wit:
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Well I'll be! Turns out that not all McCain-Palin rallies are heady hives of sticky-faced clown people calling Barack Obama a terrorist ACORN nigra.
Click through to see video of some Republicans at a Virginia rally – a few of them Muslim – swarming and haranguing two jackasses who are defaming Obama by saying he's an Islamic Communist.
Surprisingly, the guy with the sticker on his head is one of the rational folk.
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It's with a tremendous amount of eye-rolling that we mention that some people (Fox News) are getting up in arms for last week's episode of Family Guy, where it was insinuated that the Nazi's would have voted for McCain-Palin.
Ooh, how racy and provocative and not at all the same type of offensive tactics being employed at the McCain-Palin rallies themselves, where they attempt to paint Barack Obama as "the other". The only problem with condemning Seth McFarlane for his heavy-handed political statement? That's exactly what he wants you to do.
MORE CAMPAIGNUS INTERRUPTUS FOR MCCAIN "CNN reports that top officials of Sen. John McCain's campaign are 'making tough decisions' as they now see Colorado, New Mexico and Iowa no longer winnable. Instead, the campaign's 'risky strategy' is counting on Florida, Nevada, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, and a comeback in Pennsylvania."
The New York Times over the weekend ran an article focused on crypt keeper Cindy McCain, and it wasn't exactly flattering. The feature paints John's latest wife as an outsider in an emotionally-challenged marriage, deprived of warmth and attention. We kind of guessed that just by looking at her.
After the jump, a brief summary of the article (which you can read in its entirety here) in pictures and quotes.
I mean, I don't dwell on it. But, look, I've a wonderful life. I have to go back and live in Arizona, be in the United States Senate representing them, a wonderful family, daughters and sons that I'm so proud of and a life that's been blessed. I'm the luckiest guy you have ever interviewed and will ever interview. … Don't feel sorry for John McCain and John McCain will be concentrating on not feeling sorry for himself.
-Senator John McCain, on how he would feel if he lost to Barack Obama
Editor
