• Our gay brother at Queerty was almost involved in this whole Perez sex tape madness. So close. [Queerty]

• Hef has finally come through with that offer for Lindsay Lohan. It's right on time, and she's totally contemplating it. [DListed]

• Check it out! It's the pictures of Nicole Richie's baby you forgot existed and said you might consider looking at. [PS]

• Hmm, Katie Holmes has a black heart with evil eyes embroidered on her sweater. That's weird. [INO]

• "Pregnant actress Tracey Gold is refusing to follow Hollywood trends - she’s going public with her unborn baby’s sex and name." Tracey Gold? She's also sorta bucking that "fame" trend Hollywood is so obsessed with. And that "working" trend. [ICYDK]

• Jessica Simpson's going to Kuwait. A king's ransom to anyone that can shred her travel documents before her return flight. [Yeeeah]

• Winehouse makeovers: Just follow the dragon to a whole new you. [CityRag]

Perez Hilton, the pastel git who's so famous he's not really our competition so much as our cautionary tale, is indeed ugly on the inside, too.

A taut, handsome, gay gossip blogger named Jonathan Jaxson tells Page Six that Hilton promised him hot leads for his blog in exchange for sexually explicit footage. Unfortch, the arriviste foolishly agreed, sending Hilton numerous clips of him masturbating and even meeting with him personally a couple times for some tickling or whatever.

And then: not a damn thing! Hilton took the amateur porno and ran, leaving JJ alone, his thumb literally up his ass and without any insidery material for his blog. (Fucking duh!) "I fell in love with Perez," said Jaxson, "I thought he had a huge heart . . . but he's just a [bleep]hole."

As of this posting, Jaxson has not updated his blog since yesterday afternoon, but commenters wait for no man:

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