There's no amount of money in the world that would make us sit through the American Music Awards (OK, that's not entirely accurate), so instead of a write-up of the snooze-fest, here's an exhaustive collection of photos. From the looks of things, Miley Cyrus once again made the entire event all about her (and her 16th birthday, which she's been celebrating for the past few months). Surprise, surprise.
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This pains us. Really, it does. The video that we are bringing to you (after the jump) contains disturbing images of a disgusting sloth making out with his dog and farting on camera. Seems Perez Hilton had a little too much champagne at last night's VMAs and felt the urge to ramble about his thoughts, which included "YOU ARE PEREZ-CIOUS" and other inane phrases. Also, he got a little too excited about Jordin Sparks being "punk rock" and let out a gas explosion.
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Besides knowing that the world is an increasingly depressing place, if you watched the Video Music Awards last night, you know they briefly morphed from a tedious insult to America's intelligence into an impromptu back-and-forth about premarital sex.
After host Russell Brand mocked young, Christian superstars the Jonas Brothers for their "purity rings," signs of their virginity, American Idol winner Jordin Sparks interrupted her scripted appearance to mew that some people wear promise rings because they don't want to be "a slut." (Because it's one or the other, apparently.)
Brand used some of his next screen time to apologize for his earlier remarks, saying, "I don't want to piss off teenage fans… Promise rings, I'm well up for it."
After the jump, Sparks' little tirade; watch John Legend's face.
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When Miley Cyrus was chosen to host the Teen Choice Awards, which was filmed last night and will air tonight, we're unsure whether or not the producers expected her to hog the spotlight as much as she obviously did. Judging from the pictures, she treated the entire awards show like one of her infamous YouTube videos, including her BFF Mandy in most of her bits and ruining a perfectly good LL Cool J performance.
In other news, Dwight graced the show with his presence, Mariah continued to use a glitter microphone, Arcuhleta's dad still won't go away — and when did Chace Crawford become so good-looking?
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If you are among the last contestants to survive American Idol, one of two things will happen to you after the show wraps: You will make the morning show press rounds, announce a record deal with a major label, put out an album, win the Grammy for Best New Artist, and go on to a lifetime of fame and money; or you will make the morning show press rounds, announce a record deal with a major label, put out an album, watch sales stall at 200, and get dropped from your label. Guess which category Blake Lewis — who lost to Jordin Sparks — falls into?
The Dallas Cowboys' Roy Williams and Marion Barber probably expected to be in Arizona this weekend under different circumstances, but Jessica Simpson ruined that for them. The boys made the best of their situation by scoring lots of free stuff at the Super Bowl gift lounge. Who needs dignity when you can pose with some free watches you could have bought yourself?
But they weren't the only ones hawking the swag. Joey Fatone, Jordin Sparks, Kevin Sorbo and Wyclef Jean also got in on the ridiculousness. We hope the free Bratz dolls were worth it.
[Source]
The 2007 Teen Choice Awards aired last evening on Fox, and for some odd reason, Larry Birkhead was invited. (Choice Litigious Ex-Lover of a Late Junkie?) As usual, this annual recognition of mediocrity stood as a rock solid reminder of why teenagers aren't allowed to make very important decisions.
Winners and photos after the jump.
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And so it begins. Less than a week after 17-year-old Jordin Sparks took home the top prize on American Idol, people from her past are wasting no time scurrying out of oblivion to ride her newly developed coattails. Leading the race is a vocal coach who claims she worked closely with Sparks three years ago, when Sparks was just 14:
“Jordin was just 14 years old when she studied with me in 2004,” vocal coach Melissa Black told Star magazine. “Her mom, Jodi Sparks, and her grandmother, Pam Wiedmann — who acts as her manager — found me on the Internet. We were together for nine months of intense vocal work, with Jordin taking one 30-minute class a week…”
Black says they haven’t spoken since Sparks stopped taking the classes, and she said mostly good things about her alleged former student. Nevertheless, Black admits, she was “hurt for a week” when the “Idol” winner said that she hadn’t had any formal training. “Jordin didn’t have to mention my name, but at least acknowledge you had training,” she told the tab. “But I’ve moved on, and I hold my head up high.”
How harrowing. What undeniable courage it must take to walk away, head held high, from the agony of being snubbed by a girl you haven't spoken to since she was 14, when you two would engage in "intense" work together for up to half an hour each week. Doy!
Though it's often misused, and thus overused, Jordin should rebut Ms. Black with this piece of advice: "Get a life, you fucking loser."
• Fox is already out to give Jordin a complex. Does anyone know where the Fox team put their souls when they step on set? [SH]
• Rosie's leaving early. You probably won't even notice she's not there. [DListed]
• These boobs survived a tsunami. They're allowed to peek out every now and again. [HT]
• Lindsay Lohan's working on a second album that she says will have the sound of "urban pop," or, as people who live in urban areas call it, "pop." [ICYDK]
• The long strange trip that's been the past year of The View. Guess what: Rosie made it interesting. [Jossip]
• The drummer from Metallica had a baby. In related news, the drummer from Metallica is a baby. [Yeeeah]
• Newsflash: Hollywood recycles bullshit. [CityRag]
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