• Tonya Harding's having drug-induced psychotic episodes. This is why I keep telling people to not go to the Olympics. [ASL]
• Mark really does have an entourage. Hopefully they're cooler than the shlubs on the show. [PopSugar]
• Jude being more of a trooper than I took him for and accepting bald with ease and dignity. [BWE]
• Spike Jonze looks a lot like Owen Wilson. But I think Spike's smarter. [ICYDK]
• Carmen flexing her chops to play a porn star. Tough sell, that one. [HT]
• Plastic surgery's most requested celebrity body parts. I wanna know who does the Nicole Kidman skin transplant. [INO]
• Will Smith gets one of them newfangled Japanese bidets that are actually French and have been around for about 300 years. [DListed]
• Donald Trump again proving his intellect is nowhere near his net worth. [DListed]
• Tori and her mom are friends again. Weren't you worried? [CN]
• Stallone takes steroids, proving that he's no better than that cheating commie Ivan Drago. Mick would fucking puke if he knew about this. [Glitterati]
• Linds and Jude? [IDLYITW]
• Sarah Jessica biting the Olsens' style. Olsen twins still not biting much protein. [Jossip]
• Nope, Mischa's still not fat, no matter what these pics say. [DS]
• If you think you're above Soul Train, you must also think you're above good vibes and dancing feet and everything worth fighting for. [NYP]
• Inconvenient "inaccuracies" in An Inconvenient Truth? [NYT]
In honor of Mick Jagger and Warren Beatty showing their wrinkles at Hyde the other night, I've included these photos to give an idea of what the next generation of geriatric bar hoppers will look like.
They say this is intended to be 2037. If so, Justin Timberlake shouldn't look like that, nor should Avril Lavigne Paris Hilton should actually look worse, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is a widow in that photo.
[Source]
Jude Law was recently knighted in a prestigious French ceremony:
Law was named a knight in the Order of Arts and Letters by French Ambassador Gerard Errera at a ceremony in London on Thursday.
The ceremony was attended by Law's parents, Peter and Maggie, who divide their time between London and Saumur in western France, where they run a drama school, and director Anthony Minghella.
"Your immense success has not been handed to you on a plate. It has been the product of hard work," Errera said, presenting Law with a medal.
"I am speechless," the 34-year-old actor said. "My mom and dad have lived in France for 15 years so really it is a country I share as my home."
As a Knight of the French Order of Arts and Letters, Law will now be allowed free pommes frites at every McDonald's in France and front of line privileges at Euro Disney.
Congrats, Sir Jude!
• Tori Amos is coming out with a new album. Based on the Bible, the blood running down her thigh and the word "shame" scrawled across her palm, I'm guessing some of the tracks might touch on religion. [PopBytes]
• Spears is in 'hab in LA. Who knew she was having any problems? [Jossip]
• Need a delicate way to say "Sorry you're sterile?" Hallmark's got you covered! [Gawker]
• Tom Brady's defense now scrambling after being hit with the old Hail Mary of crumbling relationships: "But, I'm pregnant." [NYP]
• Boatloads of expensive luggage was really only necessary when people traveled on boats. [JJ]
• If they get married—which they won't—she should probably take his last name. [ICYDK]
• Nicholas Cage is so weird he's cool. [ASL]
Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet and Jude Law are really promoting the shit out of this The Holiday movie. I'd see it if it was an actual Holiday movie like 'The December Holiday Season' (who am I kidding, I won't watch this until it's OnDemand and I'm drunk), but instead I think they just mean Holiday like 'Vacation.' Booo.
Anyway, here's my favorite interview from this press junket–Cameron could totally eat Kate under the table…
[Source]
Was Jude Law hot at one point? He's just…old, greasy, and pervy looking now. Plus, the black collar on his suit confuses me.
I am, on the other hand, starting to love Cameron Diaz's with the dark hair. And the tinfoil dress is helpful in keeping the evil rays out. Thankfully she left the helmet at home. I know how she feels–I hate wearing mine when I go out fancy. Good thing I'm electively house-bound.
[Source]
Jude Law and Sienna Miller have grown sick of making each other less attractive and have called it quitsies again. I almost care, but can't really figure out why either of these people are more than marginally famous. People reports:
Jude Law and Sienna Miller have finally split for good, a source close to the pair tells PEOPLE exclusively.
"It's a mutual decision," a pal of the actor says of ending the roller-coaster romance. "They have definitely come to the end of the road. They tried to make it work but it failed."
I could have sworn these two once made a smoking hot couple, but looking at pictures like these from last week, I'm mostly hoping the break-up returns them both to regular grooming and mirror reliance when dressing.
Sorry for the delay in posting. I've, uh, how should I say this, been playing with this celebrity paper doll website for the past hour or so. Mmm….yeah. It's especially hard since the clothing options are so, so bad, but I've done what I can. I present to you Paris Hilton, Mary Kate Olsen, Jude Law, and Kirsten Dunst. Go forth and play, see if you can come up with something better than I could (you probably can). Send in screenshots if you put together any gems.
[Thanks Marley! Source]
• Look who needs the Manny now. Rrrawwr. [Celebitchy]
• Paris Hilton: Smart enough to know she's an idiot. Wrap your mind around that. [Faded Youth]
• Dane Cook will not not not say that he never didn't kiss Jessica Simpson. Also, it's opposite day. [PopSugar]
• Geez Ashlee Simpson, what's with the make-up to look more plastic. [Yeeeah]
• Justin was laying the SmackyDown because the paps tried to run over his lady. The rage makes more sense now. [Jossip]
• Breaking! Victoria's Secret models know how to read. [A Socialite's Life]
• Jack Nicholson wants to have sex with your daughter. And your grandmother. And you. [Us Weekly]
• DMX has an illegitimate child because he was raped. Yup, you read that right. [DListed]
• Stephen Baldwin needs to lay off the Jesus Juice. And by Jesus Juice, I mean fake tanner. [CityRag]
• Wait, I'm confused, is Steven Tyler dating Lisa Marie Presley? [DrunkenStepfather]
• Look kids, Matt Damon and his wife can enjoy the milk and cookies at Hyde, too! [Celebitchy]
• Those Harry Potter kids grow up so fast, don't they? [DrunkenStepfather]
• Tommy Lee takes a break from making out with whatever skank is standing in front of him at the moment to comment on the unhappy state of Pam Anderson and Kid Rock's marriage. [A Socialite's Life]
• Victoria Beckham defies all odds, is able to stand for one more day without snapping in half at the waist. [DListed]
• Mena Suvari is still desperate that you remember she is at fashion week. [Yeeeah]
• The "Video Vixen" isn't done trying to be famous yet, might be the reason for Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston's split. [IDLYITW]
• Clear your schedule and grab your closest (battery powered) friend, George Clooney is on Anderson Cooper 360 tonight. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Jude Law is finally ready to play the Romeo, too bad he lost us at the manpris. [PopSugar]
• Finally, the trailer for the greatest movie of all time. Unforch, there are no snakes on any planes involved. [Defamer]
• Jessica Simpson still acting shady when asked about John Mayer. [X17]
• Only a few more weeks until Ashlee Simpson makes her glorious stage debut in London. It should be…interesting. [DListed]
• Lionel Richie continues to convince himself that Nicole isn't sick. [Junkiness]
• Kevin Federline wouldn't stop to get Britney her final craving before the c-section. I mean, I'm sure he had places to be after dropping her off and those In-N-Out lines can take forever. [Page Six]
• Despite containing Jude Law, I'm so glad that All the Kings Men got it's first good review. [A Socialite's Life]
• Listen, Tom Cruise, Moby is, like, really disappointed in you. [BWE]
• Mena Suvari finally found a way for people to remember she attended an event: dressing like an a-hole. [Celebrity Nation]
According to US Weekly, Sean Preston Spears has been named "Worst Dressed Man in the World" by Esquire. Of course, it's a little harsh to blame Sean Preston for his decidedly un-dapper appearance, but perhaps the babe should already know better. Runners up include Marc Anthony and Axl Rose. I personally think Jude Law should have won, or at the very least garnered a mention for his constant raping us in the eyes with his man-dals and man-pris (admittedly, this photo isn't the worst, but I can't get over that tank top).
Therefore, to bring honor back to the Spears-Federline name, I offer you a chance to change history and rename the Worst Dressed Man of the Year. I leave Sean as an option, as for all I know you think that he shouldn't be mollycoddled if he's ever going to learn. It's in your hands, people. Vote early and vote often.
| Worst. Dressed. Man. | ||||||||||||||||
Who do you think is really the worst dressed?
Total Votes: 400 |
• Just to let you know, as long as Oceans 13 is filming, I will probably post a picture from it at least once a day. That's it. Carry on. [Celebitchy]
• Kate Beckinsale does lunges on the sidewalk. Because she can. [The Superficial]
• I barely know why we respect Vanity Fair so much, but desecrating those pages with the first Suri Cruise photos seems like blasphemy. [DListed]
• Ben Affleck has a lot of thanks for the city of Dorchestaaah. [PopSugar]
• Sienna Miller and Jude Law are back together. Wait, no, I mean they broke up. Eh, fuck it. Who cares. [Egotastic]
• Jessica Simpson "designed" some shoes and handbags. I'm sure she slaved away for weeks putting together the line. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Blech. I hope you've eaten. As if Sienna Miller in that hein wig wasn't sick enough, now she's kissing James Franco with her mouth full. To thnk, she kisses Jude Law with that thing. If this is a scene from the movie, Camille, she's filming in Canada, remind me never to see it. I've got a weak stomach, especially when Sienna Miller is involved.
[Source]
In order to demonstrate our extreme case of pop culture amnesia, every Sunday I bring you What a difference a year makes, a pleasant retrospective on our favorite celebrity self-loathing-inducers' past. One year ago today, here's what everyone was talking about:
• Pictures emerged of the Nanny Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller with. Yeah, a year later even knowing how annoying Sienna is, it still makes no sense. [IDLYITW]
• It took us a while, but last summer we all, finally realized that celebrities are crazy. All of them. [NY Magazine]
• Lindsay Lohan bit the paparazzi hand that fit her. She's come such a long way since then. [A Socialite's Life]
• Meanwhile Pez came out with limited edition Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan dispensers. [CityRag]
• Colin Farrell tried to sue the pants off (like it's that hard) the Playmate trying to sell their sex tape. It's a good thing for Colin that we never actually got to see that tape…[Defamer]
• We also figured out that celebrities love themselves some Starbucks. It was a summer of breakthroughs, really. [PITNB]
• Natasha Lyonne lives! But really, is a life without crack really worth living at all? [US Weekly]
• Contrary to rumors, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey are not getting married yet. Wonder which one is the committment phobe. [A Socialite's Life]
• Naomi Campbell did not get arrested this week. And by "did not" I mean "totally did." [Celebrity Nation]
• Tori Spelling is even more rich, bitch. [Celebitchy]
• Save Sienna Miller from the human stain that is Jude Law. Since Katie has been a lost cause for a while now. [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Madonna is sick of Guy Richie's sperm, plans to adopt. [DListed]
• Jessica Simpson chooses Dane Cook to co-host the Teen Choice Awards, party in her pants. [WWTDD]
• The Angelina Jolie nose job rumors have been around for a while now. You look at the comparison and decide. I refuse to believe my personal Mother Teresa would do something like that to me. [CityRag]
• A Colin Farrell stalker somehow got her ass to the Tonight Show yesterday. I hope she stood in line for tickets just like the rest of the audience. No special treatment for crazies. [IDLYITW]
• A day without a Lindsay Lohan bikini is like a day without sunshine. [Egotastic]
• Is Mischa Barton moving from teen soap opera to adult soap opera Desperate Housewives? What's next, Golden Girls: The New Generation? [PopSugar]
• Nicole Richie does her best (and surprisingly good) Axl Rose while lounging on the beach. [JustJared]
• Pamela Anderson falls overboard. Luckily, she's equipped with two extremely large flotation devices. [Bastardly]
• Not that she's selfish or anything, but Sienna Miller really doesn't understand why Jude Law has to spend some much time with his freaking children. [The Bosh]
• Finally, the real reason why Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears fit: her bad breath. [DListed]
• Mr. T pity's the foo who drinks that decaf espresso nonsense. [CityRag]
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