If you direct your attention to the left, you will see two teenage parents-to-be showing their enthusiasm during an interview on today's Good Morning America. The girl is one of those rumored to have made a pact with her high school friends to get pregnant together — because it's the new fun thing to do! — but she insists those reports are false. We tried to listen to her reasoning, but the excitement in her voice just overwhelmed us to the point where we fell asleep. Good luck with the kid.

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Evidently movies like Juno are ruining our youth, because the new trend is getting preggers at a young age. Case in point: A group of 17 girls at a Massachusetts high school are with child, and they are wayyyy too enthused about it.

All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Then the story got worse. 'We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy,' the principal says, shaking his head.

Naturally, parents are complaining about the new pregnancy trend — including films like Knocked Up and Jamie Lynn Spears' glamorous OK! exclusive in which she revealed she was expecting — but it's never that easy.

A classmate who gave birth her freshman year said many of the girls would approach her and talk about how lucky she was to have a baby: "They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally. I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."

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Cord is likely depressed that he missed the PR machine promoting Juno (his favorite movie) today in New York City.

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We'll go easy on you today:

Which reputably sweet actress and award nominee is a full-blown, carpet munching bulldyke? She was seen with her current flame at an awards show last weekend, and it looks like her dream of being viewed as alternative may finally be coming true — in a way she never expected.

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Guess the price tag on this pair of shoes.

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Interweb site Something Awful has published the first few pages of Quotey, the latest screenplay* penned by quirky Juno scribe Diablo Cody.

The film focuses on an eccentric yet successful screenwriter and her zany, "indie" friends, and hilarity ensues!

The first full page, scribbled margins and all, is after the jump. The rest you can find here.

_{* Of course it's totally fucking fake. The sad thing is, with a hundred more pages, it could be a hit, and there's an Academy Award nomination to prove it.}

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HATERS We said it weeks ago. Twice. Others are starting to catch up: "…frankly, I don’t want to see Juno within a thousand feet of the Kodak Theater. I want her and her twee champions stopped at the metal detector. I want her turned away for being underdressed. I want her Toyota Previa to run out of gas on the 405. I want Blood’s Daniel Plainview to barge into Ellen Page’s pre-Oscar interview with Barbara Walters and bellow: 'I drink your Sunny D! I drink it up! Slurrrrrrrrrp!'…'If There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men split the smart-person vote, and Juno actually wins, I will understand, even better than I do now, how the Unabomber felt in his cabin all those years.'"

Perhaps the only worthwhile criticism of my criticism of Juno was that I hadn't seen it and therefore could not have an accurate and valid take on it. I disagreed, but, for the sake of argument, I saw it last night (not on my own dime, mind you). The verdict: yup, sucky.

"Honest to blog"? "Phuket, Thailand"? "I am for shizz up the spout"? "It makes his junk smell like pie"? (And I could go on like this!) It's not that people don't talk this way, it's that people who do are fucking annoying, as is sitting through hours of a movie whose main offerings are esoteric pop culture references and odd names for ordinary things ("pee stick" instead of "pregnancy test"). And the deus ex machina of Juno leaving the abortion clinic because it was a possibility the fetus had developed fingernails? It's just as irritating as it sounds.

To be sure, the movie was not without its moments, but neither was The Heartbreak Kid, and people had aneurysms when I said that "wasn't awful." So why were they so quick to herald Juno?

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