Do you ever sit around wondering to yourself what American Idol finalist David Archuleta is up to these days? No? Well, it's a slow news day over here, so we were more entertained than we should have been by this clip of Kathy Griffin interviewing the Disney-fied Idol and making him awkwardly uncomfortable. The verdict: He's still as annoyingly perfect as he was during the last season of the reality competition. Someone get back to us when the kid's gone through puberty and is checking into rehab.
Adnan Ghalib and Kathy Griffin went shopping at Victoria's Secret on Rodeo Drive yesterday. If you can't tell it's a set-up, then you are beyond hope.
And Kathy: Really? We knew you were desperate, but this is just depressing.
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Lesson of the day: For those of you aspiring to one day have the honor of sharing a table with a crazy right-wing Conservative and a woman who doesn't know if the Earth is flat or round, we have some advice. Don't piss off Barbara Walters.
Kathy Griffin was scheduled to appear on The View this morning, but at the last minute received a phone call from a producer saying she wasn't allowed on the show because she had been "too mean" to Barbara during her last Bravo special. Um, is that supposed to be considered a punishment?
When The View considers you to be too offensive, there's something wrong.
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Kathy Griffin donated $5,000 to charity at the Aid for AIDS gala in Los Angeles Sunday. 5K is a handsome sum, but one she can readily afford to part with now that she's dating Apple Inc. co-gouger Steve Wozniak, seen here brandishing his coven's latest consumer molestation apparatus.
Page Six is reporting that Ivanka Trump is secretly in the running for the vacant spot on The View, left open weeks ago after the mercurial Rosie O'Donnell departed.
The National Enquirer reports that Barbara Walters wants to hire the "hottie with brains" to stick it to Paris Hilton and her parents for their shabby treatment of her when they were trying to sell the Paris post-prison interview. But our sources say Walters is still sore at Donald Trump for calling her a liar during his feud with O'Donnell and will never hire a Trump. "It ain't gonna happen," said one insider. Still in the running: Gale King, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathy Griffin and another longshot, Mario Cantone.
Not sure "hottie with brains" is an accurate description. But that aside: Mario Cantone? Hey, GLAAD, The View is considering gay guys as hosts for an all female show, meaning that they're subtly saying gay dudes are practically not men. Hello?
& bull; This guy tries to nab the FOX News mic instead of the absurdly coveted iPhone. People are calling him stupid and I think that's more than obvious. What's not obvious is why they didn't give him the mic. Normally, FOX lets every dunce with an opinion get their hands on one. [BWE]
• Britney getting angry! You know Britney not like getting angry! When Britney get angry, things get bald! [DListed]
• But their money's worth twice as much. Why do they get the free ones? [Glitterati]
• More of Paris dressed like a scarecrow. [HT]
• Technically it's Nick and Vanessa skinny dipping, but it's actually more like censor-dip. Get it? [ICYDK]
• Katie Holmes taking flack for looking dowdy. [Yeeeah]
• While Kathy Griffin isn't particularly funny, I like that she's set her sights on Ann Coulter. [CityRag]
• You couldn't buy this dick a clue even if you used his entire gel budget. [DListed]
• Bob Barker goes out with class and tradition. We'll miss you, old man. [BWE]
• Who's Sophie Monk and why is monk such an unpleasant word to say? [HT]
• Darlene's pregnant! Call Aunt Jackie for some advice, kid. [ICYDK]
• Kathy Griffin was almost killed in a drive-by shooting. Even the Crips hate Kathy Griffin. [Yeeeah]
• Something with Paris Hilton. Who knows. [CityRag]
Are you familiar with post-abortion syndrome? It's this scientifically fuzzy theory that women who have abortions are plagued with depression and haunting questions—What was the baby's sex? What would it have looked like?—years after undergoing the procedure. Well, to know about post-abortion syndrome is to know the agony we at Mollygood are feeling after the news broke that the Beckham reality series has suffered a "drastic cutback," truncating the program from six episodes to a single hour-long special.
More eviscerating news has never been seen. The questions about what could have been are really almost too much to bear. Would she have slapped one of the children? Would she have ordered the help to slap one of the children? Would she have fallen into a mud puddle while digging in her purse for the valet ticket? And for the love of God, how many shopping excursions might we have been privy to? These questions will now linger forever, as they certainly won't be answered in a one hour pittance even Kathy Griffin wouldn't wallow in. So much is lost. Hold us.
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Carson Daly, whose weight loss actually makes him look creepy, has—to my dismay—been hosting his subpar, submidnight program, Last Call, for a full five years.
To commemorate this landmark, last night Carson threw a party and invited a host of important people, including Kathy Griffin, one of the judges from Dancing With the Stars and&mdash:WTF?—Kato Kaelin. Kaeto left when they took away the catering.
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Listen, I love Kathy Griffin as much as the next person who can look beyond the grating voice and enjoy some self-deprecation, but she really needs to get a new angle. Don't ya think?
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Doesn't Denise Richard's bird nest-do look like it could perhaps be refuge and wreckage in the wake of Gwen Stefani's blonde wave? They should've just walked around like this all night at last night's Billboard Awards.
In general everyone else looked good: McPhee McRocked her McLegs, Carrie Underwood continued to be super cute and popular despite my never actually having heard her sing, Rihanna maybe wore her dress backwards, Kathy Griffin showed no signs of fatigue after her recent near death experience, Dave Navarro was adequately douchey looking. Yawn. Mary J. Blige was the big winner of the night, taking 9 awards. That's about all I know because I couldnt bring myself to actually watch. Did I miss anything awesome?
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Mini bangs? Duel hairdryers at a public event? Methinks Kathy Griffin may want to rethink the terms of her divorce from her money-stealing-personal-hair-stylist husband.
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• Tyra Banks: Future Armpiteoplasty Candidate. [CityRag]
• A reminder of why, not matter how crappy the script is, we will all go see Oceans 13. [Celebitchy]
• Beyonce and Gwyneth make awkward girlfriend/wife talk while their menfolk chat shop. [DListed]
• Maybe Matthew McConaughey's dog is just pissed that its owner goes to the beach every f-ing day without it. [X17]
• Choose your own Jailbait adventure: Willa Holland vs. Vanessa Anne Hudgens. [Bastardly]
• Kathy Griffin can't really pass ugly wedding ring tattoo off for anything other than ugly wedding ring tattoo now that she's divorced. [Us Weekly]
• You've stumped us this time, Esquire. [PopSugar]
To be honest, most celebrity parties sound kind of tame, and club drama can only get you so far, but every once in a while you hear about an evernt that actually sounds like it could have been pretty cool. This weekend Drew Barrymore threw a toga party that sounds like it was f-ing fun. Not only were some of my favorites there (Parker Posey, Kathy Griffin), but there were some SNL heads, and even DJ Lohan was on the turntables. The Insider reports:
It wasn't exactly 'Animal House,' but DREW BARRYMORE's L.A.-area abode was teeming with togas on Saturday night. The 31-year-old starlet hosted a toga birthday party for a couple of friends, one guest tells me. The door policy was strict. Not only did you have to be on the list, but "nobody was allowed in without a toga," the guest reports. Among the crowd were DEBRA MESSING, MEGAN MULLALLY, KATHY GRIFFIN, PARKER POSEY, CRAIG CHESTER, GISELE BUNDCHEN, ALANIS MORISSETTE, MOLLY SHANNON, AMY POEHLER, RACHEL DRATCH, CHRIS KATTAN, HEATHER GRAHAM, RICKI LAKE and boyfriends LANCE BASS and REICHEN LEHMKUHL. LINDSAY LOHAN spent most of the night playing DJ. As for hostess Barrymore, the guest coos, "Drew's toga looked like a designer dress, but it was fantastic. She's in amazing shape. She's thin, but not scary thin."
Can we get some pictures of this? Okay, fine, how about just one picture of Parker Posey, Kathy Griffin, and Gisele all together? Is that too much to ask? Okay, I'd settle for Lohan doing a keg stand.
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• Mischa Barton cleans up real nice for her new ad campaign, reminds us why she is a celebrity. [Teddy and Moo]
• Save Kathy Griffins: My Life On The D-List! Sign the petition. Dooooo it. [D List Petition]
• Dont' call it a comeback, cause Jennifer Lopez's ass has been here for years. [Hollywoodtuna]
• Someone give Elliot Yamin a recording contract. I mean, Kellie Pickler's got one. Is there no justice in this world? [Faded Youth]
• Gwen Stefani dares you to talk shit about her fashion sense. [I'm Non Obsessed]
• No matter how many times you explain it, Justin Timberlake, I will never accept your FutureSex/LoveSounds album title as okay. [PopSugar]
• I'm surprised that Woody Allen let his precious Scarlett Johansson out of his basement to risk her life on Coney Island's Cyclone. [BlogNYC]
• Oh, and more Mel Gibson drunk photos. [IDLYITW]
Jake Gyllenhaal, Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are quite the middle-school-girl-style BFFs these days. You know, they meet and get all giddy and want to spend every second together to talk shit about all their other friends or girls and have sleepovers where they stay up all night painting each other's toenails and practicing making out. Last night the three amigos hit up the ESPY Awards where Lance was both the host and a winner.
The talented athletes and beautiful gift-bag desiring celebrities gathered in Los Angeles for the award show. Other ESPY Award non-athlete attendees included Keifer Sutherland in formal (read: black) denim, Janet Jackson, Kathy Griffin, Carmen "Publicity Monger" Elektra, and Ben Stiller. Everyone looked great, and how many other places could Will Ferrell, Danica Patrick and Ludacris get stuck in conversation together?
• Kelly Clarkson shows us why not all trends, especially oversized sunglasses, are for everyone. [Hot Momma Drama]
• Kathy Griffin loses her "main gays." This does not bode well for her future, or her fan base. [Janet Charlton;s Hollywood]
• Even if Kristin Bell didn't realize it, she shared a moment with a stranger Tuesday night. [Dude.Man.Phat]
• Step away from the ESPY, Mariah Carey. [Hollywood Rag]
• Something about a comedic Gwyneth Paltrow just doesn't sit right anymore. Perhaps its the faux-British accent. [A Socialite's Life]
• Sienna Miller hitches a ride with a paparazzi, disappointingly isn't kidnapped. Come on, Canada, you can do better than that. [Celebrity Nation]
• Despite her best dellusions of grandeur Mischa Barton is not nearly as popular in the UK as she thinks she should be. [JustJared]
Well, Kathy Griffin's Larry King interview finally aired last night and while she didn't really say anything new other than the whole hubby Matt stealing $72,000 bit which we already knew, it was still kind of awesome, and a bit awkward too. Thanks to big bro Jossip, we've got the best moment of the show to share with you. Though I'm not sure I'm ready to see Kathy hit the dating scene.
She also took the time to quell any rumors of the show being fake. Aww, maybe that means she stumbled across MollyGood:
GRIFFIN: And, also you know it's — I work hard to earn that money and, you know I love what I do and stuff and so it's — it's a tough thing to get beyond.
KING: So you couldn't forgive him?
GRIFFIN: Well, we sure tried. We sure tried.
KING: Was he contrite?
GRIFFIN: He was — expressed remorse and that's why we still worked on it because, you know, we'd have good periods and bad periods and we would separate and get back together.
And one thing that does bother me is that people have written online and stuff that they didn't think the reality show was real and that the marriage was, you know, part of the show and maybe it wasn't real. In fact, I just read that online today. And the truth of the matter is we were absolutely reconciled for the part of my life where we did the reality show.
I'll take your word for it, this time, K-Griff. It's nice to see that losing that much money didn't completely bankrupt Kath. I guess D-List is better than I thought.
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