We can only hope that after this photo was taken Britney Spears told the Jonas Brothers to run for their lives. If there's anything interesting about the VMAs, it's the interactions behind the scenes between stars who would normally never speak to each other. For more audience and backstage photos, click through.

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Kathy Hilton, the supremely pitiful woman partially responsible for Paris Hilton, says the attack ad in which John McCain likens Barack Obama to Paris is "a waste of money." Which to us means that the ad itself is like Paris Hilton.

When you picture Mother's Day, you likely imagine flowers and brunch and happy moments with Mom — but thank goodness for Hollywood, which serves as a reminder that this special holiday isn't always picture perfect.

After the jump, a look at how some of our favorite celebrities honored mothers everywhere, complete with a rating on how well their moms fared in the rearing of their children.

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• Pete Doherty has been banned from the streets of London. Now you can feel free shoot up at the pub without him bogarting your stash. [DListed]

• Charlize goes for a birthday swim in Belize. Next stop, delis in some jellies. [HT]

• Apparently this movie is The Little Rascals meets A Clockwork Orange meets The Beach. Should be great. [ICYDK]

• Paris Hilton's mother offers her the comfort of unnecessarily soft blankets, thereby creating the literal scenario to accompany the figurative one that's destroyed her daughter's life. [Yeeeah]

• Some cat with his face in a glass. I don't know. [CityRag]

• The Scarlet Kitty. [NYT]

In the past, the only times I've found myself agreeing with FOX News is when they run retractions and apologize, but today, upon the release of Paris Hilton, FOX correspondent Jonathan Hunt made one of the first keen observations I've ever seen on the channel. Of the Hiltons, Hunt said plainly, "Perhaps [there should be] some soul searching among the parents, who might want to question their parenting skills over the last 26 years." Hunt is right. But apparently this astute criticism rubbed TMZ the wrong way, as they're calling it a "cheap shot" and asking why Hunt is "talking out of his ass." Well, perhaps it's just me, but I think the "cheap shot" might be TMZ headlining their story about Paris Hilton being released from prison with the eternally famous sentence "Free at Last!" thereby comparing Hilton's incarceration with the plight of black Americans in the early 20th century. But maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.

[Source]

• Jessica Simpson proves that even she can look bad when wearing a trash bag. [X17]

• Cocaine: Helping Kate Moss get jobs since 1994. [A Socialite's Life]

• Francis Bean in Kurt Cobain's iconic brown sweatshirt = Awesome. [Celebitchy]

• Pharrell is worried that he'll be "locked out" of planet Earth. Sounds like someone's bright enough to be an astronaut. [Junkiness]

• Okay, if you had to sleep with a female Hilton, which one would you choose. Paris thinks it shouold be Kathy, I might actually agree. [Hollywood Rag]

• Don't worry Mel Gibson, Patrick Swayze still loves you. You're like the wind through his tree. [US Weekly]

• You will have to pry that vodka bottle out of Kathy Hilton's Cold Dead Hands. [A Socialite's Life]

• I'd like to think that Lionel Richie casting his daughter Nicole in his video for "I Call it Love" is sweet rather than his just trying to glom off her newfound fame. [JustJared]

• Kate Beckinsale has only dated two men in the past ten years, which, as far as the world can tell, is a supreme waste of hotness. [PopSugar]

• Jordache hires Liz Hurley and a horse for their new ad campaign. It's cause she's a cowgirl, baby. [DListed]

• Strong evidence that Global Warming is caused by celebrities in bikinis rather than any of this "pollution" crapola. [Egotastic]

• Could it really be that Brad Pitt is the one who put the brakes on marriage with Angelina Jolie? [GlitteratiGossip]

At least rather than spewing out racial slurs like daughter Paris, Kathy Hilton just chooses not to differentiate between people of the non-white variety. To her they're all "Star" and "Al" no matter what. Page Six reports:

KATHY Hilton was so excited to see her friend Star Jones at Claudia Cohen's party Saturday night in East Hampton, she perpetrated a case of mistaken identity. The mother of Paris Hilton offered warm wishes to the just-fired co-host of "The View," told Jones how great she looked and then told the man sitting next to Jones, "Great to see you, Al!" - thinking he was Jones' Speedo-wearing husband, Al Reynolds. It was actually Bryant Gumbel, who is slimmer and younger-looking than when he hosted the "Today" show. When someone told Kathy of her mix-up, she exclaimed, "My poor eyes are going at the age of 44."

Since 44 is such an old hag age, we can assume she'll be completely blind and deaf by 50, which is probably for the best.

[Source]