Thank Allah we're in Saudi Arabia:
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are moving to the Big Apple!
As Holmes preps to make her Broadway debut this fall, "[Katie] and Tom are committed to keeping the family together, so they have to get an apartment here [in New York]," All My Sons producer Eric Falkenstein tells the New York Post.
It will never happen, but what we wouldn't give to see Tom Cruise turn curtly toward some guy on the A train to say, in that trademark nasal whine: "You're not supposed to have bikes down here!"
Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Lopez, Brooke Shields, Sumner Redstone, Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, and Kirstie Alley were among the A-listers who attending TomKat's big Beverley Hills housewarming party. Page Six, however, also spotted "all the gays, which was hilarious because Scientology 'cures' gays."
The MTV Movie Awards were held last night, and I admittedly couldn't bring myself to sit through the hours-long crapfest. Just by looking at the pictures (after the jump), it's obvious I didn't miss much.
Anyone care to share exciting stories from the show (if you decided to punish yourself last night)? CONTINUED »
• Usher's performance on Good Morning America today reminded everyone how not-so-awesome Justin Timberlake really is. [INO]
• We weren't invited to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' cocktail party. Somehow, life goes on. [ICYDK]
• In a desperate ploy for publicity, Supernanny has announced that she would be "more than happy" to help Britney. Um, OK? [People]
• Everything the Lohans touch turns to gold. And by "gold" we mean "stuff nobody wants to see." [PS]
• Charlie Sheen seems to have convinced yet another stupid female to marry him. [DListed]
[Source]
Start buying your tickets now: Katie Holmes is coming to Broadway. The wife of Mr. Crazy himself, Tom Cruise, will escape the LA Scientology Center to join the revival of Arthur Miller's All My Sons, which debuts this fall. It's unsure whether Tom and Suri will be joining her here in the city, and for our sake, we sure hope not. Besides, Katie needs no distractions as she learns to reprogram new vocabulary into her system.
[Source]
Jeff Archuleta, the Svengali-like father of breathy 5-year-old (OK fine — he says he's 17) American Idol contestant David, has reportedly been banned from the show's set. Turns out those stage dad rumors were totally true, and he has been attempting to interfere with the entire production for weeks now, even nagging the producers, band, vocal coaches and other contestants. This is déjà vu from David's Star Search run.
The final straw came this week, when Jeff wanted to change the lyrics to David's first song, 'Stand By Me.' Jeff insisted on adding a verse from Sean Kingston's hit, 'Beautiful Girls.' Producers sent him an e-mail telling him the lyrics could not be changed. They were beyond pissed when David sang the song with Kingston's lyrics during the live show.
We're told by changing the lyrics, it created problems with the song's publisher and cost AI a lot of money. Jeff was ordered to sit with AI lawyers on Wednesday, who told him he was 'banned from being in the rooms where David was learning or rehearsing his songs.'
So from now on, Jeffy Poo can sit in the audience during the live shows, but he is not allowed anywhere near backstage. Because when it comes to manipulating impressionable young people, the Idol producers already have that covered.
The interesting thing will be seeing how Archie, who will now be forced to form his own opinion, handles the rest of his Idol run — it's like Katie Holmes without Tom Cruise. Could this be the end of the lamest AI contestant ever?
[Source]
Despite the fact that many people find it inaccurate to use the word another in the following sentence: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes want to spawn "another" baby.
According to a "friend" close to the couple (and E!, apparently), Katie has "the itch," which we assume is a gross way of saying she'd like to have more children. The aforementioned friend also says Tom loves the idea of a new kid: "He said if Katie wants to make another baby, she doesn't have to ask twice." He'll have his people call her people and set up an intercourse ASAP.
Scarlett Johansson wasted no time in debuting her engagement ring from fiancé Ryan Reynolds at last night's Costume Institute Gala at NYC's Metropolitan Museum of Art. Pretty much every celebrity you can imagine was in attendance (except for Reynolds), and 95 percent of the wardrobe choices made our heart cry.
Click through for more pictures than you could have ever asked for. CONTINUED »
Oprah's Tom Cruise interview is still happening at this very moment, and it's like watching an uncomfortable episode of The Office, except it's real and there's no laughter.
More updated notes from Whitney's couch (no jumping Toms allowed), after the jump. CONTINUED »
Tommy and his robot lady are on Oprah right now. Click through for a couple notes on the show from Lauren, who wisely didn't come into the office today.
CONTINUED »
• Leather daddy will forever be a good look. Well done, Travolta. [CityRag]
• "Scientology boot camp is probably filled with a bunch of suppressed homos that are just aching to get their jaws around any cock and ass." [DListed]
• Another Spears girl is on the way. And this one will have many more issues than the first two. Huzzah! [PS]
• Patrick Dempsey is campaigning to win the title of "Sexiest Man Alive" this year, which is not the least bit sexy. [INO]
• Benji Madden wrote Paris Hilton a love song entitled "Shine Your Light." It's probably not very good and definitely not original, but Paris only knows what's in front of her, so she loves it. [ICYDK]
• Is Mariah Carey really engaged to Nick Cannon? Thank goodness those two are out of the dating pool! [Yeeeah]
In Touch picked up on sister mag Life & Style's Suri Cruise obsession this week with stalker photos and insider details surrounding the tot's birthday party.
Tom Cruise reportedly spent $100,000 on the extravaganza, which is so ridiculous we don't even need to say anything about it. The cost included $17,000 for fresh flowers, $45,000 on catering and $5,000 for cakes. But these weren't just any pastries: Each guest received a personalized cake and Suri was treated to a four-tier cake covered in buttercream frosting, bumblebees and butterflies. Oh, and Katie received $230 worth of Sprinkles cupcakes. Who knew she ate?
The celebration continued into the evening when Tom and Katie invited their own friends — including Eva Longoria Parker, David and Victoria Beckham, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, and Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy — to a private bash. Because we're sure that was on Suri's wishlist.
It's a good thing they pulled out all the stops for this milestone birthday, seeing as how Suri likely had already forgotten about it by breakfast.
[Source]
When she finally leaves that damn husband of hers, Katie Holmes will reportedly flee to New Yawk City, where she already has a role lined up in a Broadway revival of All My Sons. An Arthur Miller masterpiece, Sons depicts a few days in the life of a deceitful patriarch whose guilt and lies gradually erode his sanity and that of his loved ones. Katie should find the part cathartic.
Actor and former Scientologist Jason Beghe is the star of a new YouTube video that features him speaking out against his previous religion. We don't have our handy Scientology lingo handbook nearby, so it's a bit difficult to understand what he's talking about; however, it's fairly obvious that the guy is going to need about 100 new bodyguards to prevent a mysterious "suicide."
Click through for the video (some language NSFW). CONTINUED »
We love when Scientologists leave the religion and then spill their guts to the media. This time Marc Headley, who used to produce promotional films for Scientology, is confirming one of the rumors surrounding Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes: Tom auditioned Katie to be his girlfriend.
Following Tom's split from Penelope Cruz in 2004, the megastar told his BFF (and head of Scientology) David Miscavige that he was having trouble meeting women. So the church sent out a casting call that said, 'There’s an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition.' There were of course restrictions: You had to be single, pretty and in your twenties.
Tom rejected original suggestions Erika Christensen and Sofia Milos (who are Scientologists) in favor of Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba (in that order). Reportedly Jen and Jess didn't take the bait, but Scarlett came in for an audition. Once she realized she was at the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she got scared and bailed. Smart girl.
But Katie Holmes popped into the Scientologist's minds because she had previously spoken out about her crush on Tom. 'They got her to L.A. and introduced her to Tom. The moment he meets her, he’s enthralled with her and he told Miscavige later, 'I knew immediately she was the one."'
You hear that? That's the sound of Jennifer, Scarlett and Jessica breathing a huge sigh of relief.
[Source]
Tom Cruise gave Katie Holmes permission to speak to the UK version of InStyle magazine. It seems she has expanded her vocabulary, but not by much.
I try every day to make Tom know how much I love him. It gets better and better. It has made my life.
Tom and I stay in really good communication with each other. I talk to him about anything, at any time. He works 48 hours straight, comes home, and if I ask, 'Would you help me with this?' he’ll do it. He wants to.
Katie, Katie, Katie … When someone has the ability to work 48 hours straight and then comes home to assist you with your projects (which we assume include drawing your own bath and answering the phone), that means you're dealing with a Scientology robot.
Mrs. Cruise then leaves us with one final plea:
It’s so cool when you see women working together, being friends. I like having girlfriends.
[Source]
• Our gay brother at Queerty was almost involved in this whole Perez sex tape madness. So close. [Queerty]
• Hef has finally come through with that offer for Lindsay Lohan. It's right on time, and she's totally contemplating it. [DListed]
• Check it out! It's the pictures of Nicole Richie's baby you forgot existed and said you might consider looking at. [PS]
• Hmm, Katie Holmes has a black heart with evil eyes embroidered on her sweater. That's weird. [INO]
• "Pregnant actress Tracey Gold is refusing to follow Hollywood trends - she’s going public with her unborn baby’s sex and name." Tracey Gold? She's also sorta bucking that "fame" trend Hollywood is so obsessed with. And that "working" trend. [ICYDK]
• Jessica Simpson's going to Kuwait. A king's ransom to anyone that can shred her travel documents before her return flight. [Yeeeah]
• Winehouse makeovers: Just follow the dragon to a whole new you. [CityRag]
From Katie Holmes' new (and hopefully completely inaccurate) interview with the UK's Daily Mail:
WHAT'S YOUR IDEA OF HEAVEN?
Falling in love with Tom and our daughter.
WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH?
Tom and Suri.
WHAT WERE YOUR DREAMS AS A CHILD?
To marry Tom Cruise!
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE HIM?
He's just amazing. He's kind, generous, smart, he's Tom Cruise - he's the most artistic man I've ever met.
[Source]
Editor
