• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are celebrating two years of their creepy, bizarre marriage. [DListed]
• Amy Winehouse's drug-filled beehive is back. Everyone can relax. [ICYDK]
• Mariah Carey knows how to get the pregnancy rumor mill churning: Cover up and touch your stomach. [PS]
• Jessica Simpson continues to mutilate her face. [HT]
• Twilight star Robert Pattinson is going to have some sort of nervous breakdown in the very near future. It's inevitable. [INO]
• Life is tough for Kim Kardashian. [Yeeeah]
• Your first look at Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. Needless to say, this movie is going to be awesome. [ICYDK]
• Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson's baby refuses to come out. We don't blame him. [PS]
• The Kardashian sisters and a washed-up Laguna Beach star posing for pictures on the beach. If that's not newsworthy, we don't know what is. [HT]
• Vivienne Westwood must be really desperate. [INO]
• The Victoria's Secret fashion show: Because there's nothing sexier than 50-pound wings attached to a 90-pound girl. [Yeeeah]
• Courtney Love spent her Sunday writing up 60 (60!) posts for her MySpace blog in a matter of hours. [DListed]
Because the shark has already been jumped in the case of How I Met Your Mother, the producers obviously decided to just throw in the towel and invite as many famewhore guest stars as possible to seal the deal. The latest loser to join the bunch? Kendra Wilkinson.
The former changer of Hugh Hefner's diapers will appear as a magazine cover-version of herself in the same ill-fated episode alongside Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag and Kim Kardashian.
We're going to start up a collection for CBS — obviously the network is out of its mind and needs all the help it can get, monetary or otherwise.
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In a ballsy move that surely signals the beginning of the end of How I Met Your Mother, Kim Kardashian has been recruited by the shows producers to appear alongside Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in an upcoming episode.
The ep, tentatively called "Benefits," is about Marshall's (Jason Segel) inability to poop at work.
I'm told Marshall carries a copy of Them Weekly with him when he's heading to the bathroom. Kim, Heidi, Spencer and lord knows which other tabloid faves will speak to Marshall from the cover of Them in a dream sequence. They presumably pop up to mock and laugh and make Marshall feel generally silly.
Sounds like a nightmare. Not just the episode plot — this whole publicity stunt. We cry for you, HIMYM.
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Taking a break from Britney and Kim and all things that make us weep for America: The cult classic Little Shop of Horrors has once again become relevant, thanks to the magical powers of YouTube. You see, the 1986 musical about a blood-sucking plant has an alternate ending that was changed at the last minute due to whining from test audiences. It apparently cost $5 million and 11 months to produce and was released for a mere five days back in 1998 until a copyright scuffle caused the DVD to be recalled. During the ongoing legal battle, Warner Brothers believed the original ending was lost in a studio fire — but voila! Here it is, lurking around the Internets.
The 24-minute alternate ending begins above and continues after the jump. It's magic! CONTINUED »
Hopefully none of our readers have heard of The Cheetah Girls, one of those cheesy-but-not-in-a-good-way Disney movies that never quite reached the same success as High School Musical. One of said Cheetah Girls, Adrienne Bailon, went on bigger and "better" things: She's dating Kim Kardashian's younger brother, Rob. And now it seems she's been getting famewhore advice from her likely future sister-in-law.
You see, Adrienne took some ill-advised nude pictures of herself to send to Rob for an anniversary (how romantic!). Instead of immediately deleting the photos (or refraining from snapping them in the first place), Adrienne left them on her computer, which was later stolen at a New York airport, and then someone leaked the photos. Of course. Adrienne soon released a statement apologizing to her fans, which is only shocking because we weren't aware she had any in the first place.
This has "Kim" written all over it, no?
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Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "My team is a bunch of freakin' hooganigans." — Heat, I Love Money
LIFE IS TOUGH FOR KIM KARDASHIAN "A distraught Kim Kardashian could not be consoled after being the surprise third casualty of Dancing with the Stars Tuesday night. … Once the cameras were off Kardashian rushed to the waiting arms of her family and immediately broke down into tears. Kardashian’s publicist followed the inconsolable bombshell around the press line with a box of Kleenex since, once the waterworks started, there was no stopping the outpouring of genuine emotion."
• OK! magazine was not interested in Clay Aiken's coming out story, claiming it wasn't a big deal. Yeah, why feature a talked-about story when you can have a cover like the one above? Good move, OK! [INO]
• Jennifer Aniston takes a break from being America's Punching Bag to vacation in Mexico. Life is rough. [Yeeeah]
• Things too awkward for words: Samantha Ronson in a bikini. [HT]
• Kelly Osbourne struggled with a possible pregnancy at 13. When I was 13 I was struggling to remember not to throw my retainer away in the cafeteria's trash bins. To each her own. [ICYDK]
• Mark Wahlberg wasn't so creative with the baby names — that's a good thing. [DListed]
• DJ AM put his recovery on hold to attend a memorial service for one of the victims of the deadly plane crash. [PS]
• Kim Kardashian still doesn't know how to properly use her assets. [HT]
• Scarlett Johansson wants you to know she is not the Statue of Liberty. Common misconception. [INO]
• Why, Brad Pitt? Why? [PS]
• Brooke Hogan confirms that her breasts are real. That doesn't change the fact that she looks mannish. [Yeeeah]
• Kirk Cameron refuses to kiss another woman, even if it means being a diva on set. [DListed]
• The Mac guy finally wised up and split with Kirsten Dunst. [ICYDK]
• Britney Spears really doesn't need that much retouching, does she? [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson confirm they are a couple, because nobody had any idea. [PS]
• Whitney Port officially gets her very own Hills spinoff, set in NYC. As long as it's not Speidi, we're on board. [ICYDK]
• All the celebrity nip slips you could ever want. [CityRag]
• For everyone who was concerned: Kim Kardashian fits in her size 26 jeans. [Yeeeah]
• Dakota Fanning continues her reign of perfection by making her school's cheerleading team. [INO]
• Brad Altman made an honest man out of Sulu. [DListed]
• Since when is 15-year-old Nick Jonas rumored to be dating Kim Kardashian? [ICYDK]
• Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag debut the latest Hollywood trend. [HT]
• Britney Spears threw a birthday party for her two kids; everyone survived. [PS]
• Nicole Kidman isn't letting anyone catch a glimpse of daughter Sunday Rose. [INO]
• A brief description of Matthew McConaughey's new Oscar-worthy movie: "The dude needs a wave, and there’s never been a drought like this." [Yeeeah]
The Kardashian family would like to remind everyone to vote in this season's Dancing with the Stars. Because, when all is said and done, this attention-whoring family knows what really matters.
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Behold the beauty of Dancing With the Stars' future champion, Lance Bass. We're pretty sure he's pointing his fingers and smiling with his eyes, which can only earn him extra points from the judges. Seriously though, we have a feeling it's going to be a battle of the divas this season: Susan Lucci, Cloris Leachman and Kim Kardashian are going to be tough competitors; the first two because they're awesome and the last one because she's a famewhore. Hopefully America will prove us wrong, but we've stopped expecting much.
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Oh Carmen Electra. You really want people to respect you for something other than your career as a Baywatch babe, but most people don't even respect you for that. Actually, most people don't even remember you enough not to respect you, so guess there's that. So why take a gamble on relevance by appearing in Disaster Movie with Kim Kardashian and referring to yourself in third person during interviews?
I don't watch Dancing With the Stars but it's looking like I'll have to this season, thanks to the participation of my former boyfriend, Lance Bass. The official cast was announced today, and it also includes Kim Kardashian, Jeffrey Ross, Cloris Leachman and Susan Lucci.
But enough about the D-listers: Lance has officially been on America's radar for 10 years thanks to *NSYNC's July 1998 Disney special. At right is a clip from the show that made me fall in love. Who knew 10 years later Justin would date and dump Britney Spears, Joey would appear on DWTS and host a karaoke show, JC would judge some dance crew competition, and Chris would completely fall off the planet. Congrats, Lance: You're following the path of all great boy band has-beens.
Because there aren't enough VH1 reality dating shows, the network recruited Ray J, who is mainly famous for starring in a sex tape with Kim Kardashian, to be its next bachelor. Um, we thought he was dating Whitney Houston, no? Not that it matters — this is all about as real as Santa Claus.
The producers are looking for desperate contestants who are "smart, attractive women over 21 who think they can handle the drama of celebrity life." Why would they need to handle celebrity life if they're just dating Ray J?
In news that is surely devastating to 13-year-old boys everywhere, Kim Kardashian announced that she plans to lose weight in her butt. Evidently Kim has grown weary of the constant media attention that surrounds her rear: "I'm just so over it! When you're posing on the red carpet and the paparazzi shout, 'Turn around! Turn around!' — it gets a little offensive."
Fair enough, Kim, but then how will you stay in the spotlight? It's not like you ever do anything worthy of celebrity, unless you count that sex tape. The only reason anybody knows who you are is because of your famous ass, so you might want to reconsider your plans to tone it down.
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