Indeed, not a single celebrity died during yesterday’s 5.8 earthquake in Los Angeles. But that’s not the only (yes we’re morbid) bad news: Mother Nature didn’t hamper a single reality television show filming in the area. The jerkoffs on Big Brother, who aren’t allowed any communication with the outside world, were told by producers that the reason the soundstage was shaking was not because Kirstie Alley had a new show filming next door, but because tectonic plates were moving about beneath them.
But there is one minuscule bit of good news.
Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Lopez, Brooke Shields, Sumner Redstone, Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, and Kirstie Alley were among the A-listers who attending TomKat's big Beverley Hills housewarming party. Page Six, however, also spotted "all the gays, which was hilarious because Scientology 'cures' gays."
A few weeks ago we said not all Scientologists are pathetic automatons out to destroy humanity, which prompted a host of outraged people to throw tantrums and threaten to boycott Mollygood. It was madness, and it was our introduction to how upset many people get when discussing Scientology. Thus, we'd like to nip in the bud any and all speculation about our partisanship with this rundown of our least favorite Scientologists. We still don't believe the spooky Web sites that claim to know the secrets of Tom Cruise et al, but we understand how odd that post must look in conjunction with all the contextual ads for the Church that have been popping up on the site.
This post should clarify our point: Scientology is an organization composed of some cool people and some fools, just like practically every group in the whole world (save for people who wear fur—they're all rotten).
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• Big Brother's new "soulmates" concept has turned into an STD fest. (Video NSFW) [DListed]
• Tina Fey will host the post-strike premiere of SNL. You remember SNL? Neither do we. We think it was an ancient show enjoyed by our forefathers. [CityRag]
• Kirstie Alley has stepped down as Jenny Craig's spokesperson. Presumably because Scientology does not believe in weight loss. [People]
• Jimmy Kimmel will get revenge by f***ing Ben Affleck. Can we get in on that? [Us]
• Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard: Classy and classier. [INO]
• For as much drama as Diddy gets himself into, he't not the best with excuses. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan's whorish charms don't impress Clint Eastwood. [OK!]
• This girl has the mark of the beast. [BWE]
Celebrities make too much money. Subjective, sure, but probably true. Truer still is that very often those fortunes are wasted in inglorious, ill-planned blazes.
But sometimes the millions serve a higher purpose; sixth homes declined in favor of the public that makes a celebrity a celebrity. Yet where are those figures in Star and the National Enquirer?
Screw Birkin bags, time for money that counts: political donations.
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Editor
