LADIES NEVER KISS AND TELL • "Tila Tequila refuses to kiss and tell about her rumored make out session with Justin Long. (The New York Post reported they got it on in Sin City on Halloween and that he later asked her to 'straddle' him at an L.A. club.) 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and it should just stay there. … I don't remember anything.'"

[Source]

Is this a photo of sad, feeble trophy wife Cindy McCain kissing a "long-haired man who resembles 'a washed-up '80s rock musician'" (ie NOT her husband, John McCain)? According to outsider publication the National Enquirer, YES, IT IS!

Stunned? You shouldn't be. John McCain is a known misogynist who has in the past cruelly berated and humiliated Cindy, this after leaving his first wife when she became disfigured in a car accident. If a husband's going to be cheated on, he often will have been behaving like John McCain. Nevertheless, witnesses to the kiss, which took place in Tempe, a collegiate wasteland within spitting distance of central Phoenix, were dismayed:

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Last night the stars and publicists aligned to bring the world what it has so desperately needed for five years: a Britney Spears-Madonna reunion. The last time the two appeared together onstage was during the 2003 MTV VMAs, where they kissed. Maybe you heard about it?

Anyhoo, this performance of "Human Nature" was incredibly lame — all Brit did was awkwardly bounce around while lip-syncing a couple lines here and there. And then it was over. Brilliant, ladies. Brilliant.

There's a new obnoxious celebrity duo on the loose: Anonymous sources (who are always reliable) spilled the beans that Kanye West and Aubrey O'Day were making out recently at NYC's 1Oak. "Either they actually kissed, or Aubrey was just telling people they kissed." Here's hoping it's the latter, and Kanye offers up an amazing caps-locked blog post about how he was too busy icing his knees at the airport to be making out with the former Danity Kane nightmare.

[Source]

• Guy Ritchie is slowly going crazy. Marrying Madonna will do that to you. [DListed]

• Lindsay Lohan has now set her sights on Chace Crawford. Wait, what happened to being a lesbian? [INO]

• A look at Hollywood's toothy kissers. [CityRag]

• Mary-Kate Olsen got in a minor fender bender. No tiny trolls were injured in the process. [PS]

• Tom Cruise has officially turned Katie Holmes into himself. [ICYDK]

• Faith Hill should never look this good in a bikini. [Yeeeah]

Oh come on, you knew this day was coming. The day where you'd have to tear down all your Ryan Seacrest posters, scribble out his name in your notebooks, and stop planning for the time when you two could own all forms of media, forever and ever amen.

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Gag gift of a person Victoria Beckham has admitted to dating 80s movie star Corey Haim way back in 1995, before he was selling his teeth and before she was unsalvageable. But, the Spice Girl says she did not have sexual relations with that teen heartthrob.

‘We didn’t have sex or anything,’ she recalls. ‘In actual fact, he didn’t seem to want to try. The most we did was kiss.’

But Posh – who’s now married to David Beckham, 33, – says she wasn’t bothered.

‘Looking back it’s hard to work out whether I really fancied him or if I was just a bit of a sad fan,' she tells OK!

Now, everyone knows correlation does not equal causation, but we'd like to point out that Haim developed a nasty meth habit after dating Beckham. Just saying.

When was your first kiss?

I haven’t had a first kiss.

-17-year-old American Idol runner-up David Archuleta, in a new interview with Seventeen magazine

Oh! That there is a photograph of Jude Law "snogging" Kimberly Stewart, daughter of Rod, in Essex Saturday. They've both lost so much hair.

Seriously, Madonna. You're not in college. The crotch flashing, champagne chugging and kissing of other females is getting old.

[Source]

Arden Wohl, a wealthy Manhattan resident famous for her many headbands and few talents, recently told New York magazine that she is dissatisfied with the kissing talents of New York's bachelors. "Some men," she said, "are kissing monsters," then she wagged her tongue around to simulate the monstrousness.

But whom is most monstrous? Wohl says the worst "Frencher" she's ever Frenched is the oddly successful Zach Braff, just as we would have guessed.