Cheryl Burke and Lacey Schwimmer, two of the female professional dancers on Dancing With the Stars, are being called fat by not only people in the media but also their male professional counterparts. Oh, come on. Are you kidding? These girls are NOT FAT.

Here's what dancer and professional ass Louis van Amstel has to say for himself:

If you want to gain weight, it's your prerogative. … But you have to deal with the consequences. [People] look at this show to be inspired and think, 'If I just work hard enough, I can look like that.' If they watch someone who's dancing her butt off and she's still heavy, they can be discouraged. You have to take responsibility.

And our dear, sweet, gorgeous Maksim Chmerkovskiy is also adding fuel to the fat fire:

When I first saw these women this season, I said, 'Guys, you know the camera adds 10 pounds. You have to do something about this.'

This is the most absurd, infuriating argument we've heard outside of the McCain/Palin campaign, but maybe we're just crazy. There's nothing fat about these girls, right? Right? Most women would kill to look like either Cheryl or Lacey and they've likely still inspired many viewers who really are overweight to get active and start dancing. To suggest otherwise is irresponsible and appalling.

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Last night was the first time I sat through Dancing With the Stars, and let me tell you: American Idol it is not. I could watch Ryan Seacrest lead me through that nonsense five nights a week, but I can't imagine watching this ballroom competition on a regular basis for the next few months. The only thing keeping me around is the promise of future husband Lance Bass, who is also being wooed by his partner, So You Think You Can Dance alum Lacey Schwimmer. After dancing the cha cha, she confesses that she once believed Lance would marry her. Pshh, please.

And after the jump, my second favorite contestant, Cloris Leachman. Who knew the 82-year-old would inject some life into this drag of a program?

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