LOHAN ON OBAMA • "It's an amazing feeling, y'know? It's our first colored president."

Time for another fun round of "Guess That Bleep." In today's New York Post, Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan's lover, says Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis is "one of the more disgusting human beings in the world because of what he does … He's a [bleep]bag."

The guy certainly is a bag of something, but what? Our vote: "He's a mommy issues-bag." What do you think?

Whoa, who knew John McCain had a brother? Has Joe McCain been hiding this entire time because he is volatile and cantankerous? Just like his brother?

One last question: Isn't this sort of exactly the plot of the Chris Farly/David Spade vehicle Black Sheep?

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A WAY WITH WORDS Intellectual Conservatism scion Christopher Buckley, about his decision to ankle his post at the National Review amid backlash to his admission that he plans to vote for Barack Obama: "I'm puttin' it all on black!"

Like a Wizard of Oz cast member in Bizarro World, Anna Wintour has spent its whole life making itself into a cold tin shell with a high heel where its heart should be, so it can't feel love. But if it could, according to the New York Post, it would feel it for Gerard Butler: "'She thinks he's amazing,' a source said. 'She talks about him all the time.'"

Oooooooh! If this is true, it means that the Wintour is so totally over its summertime crush on sunken-eyed tennis pro Roger Federer. Butler needs to hurry and trade a joint-oiling session for some Vogue coverage before Wintour Number Five's eye wanders again.

Related: Isn't "amazing" overused?

Bringing homophobia to the mainstream, the Advertising Council and the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network will today launch a campaign against "That's so gay."

It's the first time the council has used its public service announcements to help out the homos.

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The hateful, self-loathing and oft-incorrect Sarah Palin and her wild ranting about Barack Obama's "terrorist connections" got me thinking today about pop culture, language and an easily manipulated public.

For instance, it's amazing how quickly those on the far right decry Obama's ties to Weather Underground founder Bill Ayers, no matter how flimsy (or even non-existent) they might be, simply because Palin uses the dreaded t-word to describe the now professional Ayers and his former associates. I also find it to be endlessly confounding how many of my most liberal friends in New York and Los Angeles loved The Dark Knight, a movie whose main point seemed to be that the PATRIOT Act is righteous and necessary. How frightening the word terrorist has become in our zeitgeist, and how easily grand explosions and attractive movie stars can mold peoples' perceptions.

I decided to highlight this phenomenon with a non-comprehensive list of the American public's most favorite terrorists. You'll notice that many of the people after the jump have been described as "freedom fighters" (what a cute little shift in terms) by the men portraying them, all of whom are handsome and white.

As always, feel free to use the comments section for complaints about omissions or inclusions.

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This racism is killing me inside! Yessir, the Republicans have done it again. They've gone and called Barack Obama, the well-educated, distinguished Senator running for President of the United States, "uppity."

Speaking with Politico, an anonymous (of course!) Bush insider used the tainted term while going over his keys for a McCain victory in November:

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We don't watch Grey's Anatomy because we just don't, so we have no idea what exactly is going on in all these ads on the site. In all seriousness – and we need to know this like Matt Damon needs to know if Sarah Palin believes an old man made us all out of clay – do they really say "poignant" things like "You're my person" on that show?

Here's a phrase we're really sick of seeing in comment sections (especially our own): "fuck the haters." Jesus, that's infuriating! Why? Because more often than not, people characterized as "haters" are more accurately "people with differing opinions." Thus, saying fuck them is usually comparable to saying, "I don't like to listen to anyone who doesn't agree with me"; and if you say stuff like that, you might as well revert to crying and shouting when upset, just like the rest of the babies.

No more talk of fucking haters unless you're very attracted to bigots.

How long until "Barack" and "Obama" are no longer flagged by spell-check? Will the Democratic nominee have to win for that to happen?

IMBECILES PROTEST CHARACTERS USING MEAN WORD "Several dozen disability advocates converged in front of Monday night's Westwood premiere of 'Tropic Thunder' to protest the comedic use of the word retard. Chanting 'Ban the movie, ban the word,' marchers carried signs with such slogans as 'R-word = hate speech' and passed out flyers urging a boycott of the comedy. The DreamWorks film, which features Ben Stiller playing an actor best known for his role as a mentally challenged man in the ficticious drama 'Simple Jack,' has garnered a wave of criticism in recent weeks culminating with Monday's protest." Ban the word? Smells like fascism! Quick, everyone fire your commie friends' copies of Huckleberry Finn and To Kill a Mockingbird.

In its coverage of last night's Teen Choice Awards, E! Online calls Justin Timberlake "hunky." Question: Is that accurate? We thought "hunky" was reserved for guys like Vin Diesel and Harrison Ford. Isn't Justin Timberlake more like a cute hall monitor?

Yay! Time for another game of Guess That Bleep. Much like with Mad Libs, your job is to find the appropriate word or phrase to fill in the space left vacant by mass media's increasingly arbitrary standards of decency.

Today's is a doozy:

Which cocaine-loving actress is said to be relying on her closeted husband to meet guys? A source says that when they were at a party recently, the hubby asked a fellow guest, "Do you want to [bleep] my wife? Because you can.”

Gawd, how awful are famous people?

Anyway, our guess is, "Do you want to get a great blueberry muffin recipe from my wife? Because you can." Your turn; have fun with it.

The New York Times has traded "irreverent" for "splenetic" in its George Carlin obit headline. This is perhaps because the original was thought to have religious implications. Regardless, it's funny and apropos, considering how much of Carlin's humor was based on how weird language is.

Definitions under here.

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Yesterday, Fox News used the word "cougar" in a headline to describe an older woman who dates younger men. This means the term is now officially over, as Fox News is where slang goes to die.

From now on, no more calling anyone or thing a cougar unless the thing to which one is referring is "a large American feline resembling a lion."

Thank God that's the end of that. It was misogynistic, anyway.

HOW ABOUT 'BAD ACTOR'? "Jerry Seinfeld claims a cookbook author is cooking up some fancy semantics by calling him an actor rather than a comedian to minimize the humor in statements she says defamed her. Lawyers for Seinfeld say Missy Chase Lapine's lawyers resorted to the switch in words to describe Seinfeld when several weeks ago they filed a rewritten version of her lawsuit against him and his wife in U.S. District Court in Manhattan. 'Jerry Seinfeld is an enormously wealthy and well-known actor,' Lapine's revised lawsuit said. The original had called him a comedian."