Who Are You Again?

There was definite funny business going on last night at some video game launch party in Hollywood: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag showed up, along with her sister Holly and Lauren Conrad's ex Doug Reinhardt. This is mildly scandalous because, upon breaking up with Lauren, Doug went out on a date with Spencer's sister Stephanie (which went over like a lead balloon when Lauren found out). Little Dougy seems to fit right in with the Hills cast and their high school drama, but someone forgot to tell Holly that it's all fake:

Yeah, we came together. We are just, you know, hanging out.

Translation: OMG do you think he likes me?!?! He's soooo cute!! I'm going to act coy but OMG YOU GUYS I totally think we're going to get married!

Unfortunately, Doug quickly shot down her hopes:

There are no romantic sparks. She is a great girl.

Translation: I am repulsed by her but would like more screen time on upcoming episodes of The Hills. Also, I'm available for autographs after the event.


Sep 4, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 16 Responses

Last night's episode of The Hills was educational once again thanks to Professor Spencer Pratt, who utilized his few minutes on America's television screens to show men how to romance the ladies. First, take your woman to a fancy restaurant and start off the conversation with a discussion of your enemy (bonus points if said "enemy" is the result of a childish one-sided feud). Then threaten your girlfriend if she attempts to mingle with an acquaintance who is not of your liking. For the grand finale, take a peek at your watch and utter the affectionate words every woman wants to hear, whether or not she's finished with her dinner: "Time to get in bed and cuddle, my dear." Because if there's one thing women enjoy, it's being told what to do.

Sep 2, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 8 Responses

Spencer Pratt entertained us yet again on last night's episode of The Hills with a thought-provoking speech on foreign relations and family values. Frustrated that his sister, Stephanie, is still "rolling around with LC," Spence declared that he wished he could make her his un-sister and then shot down Steph's hopes that one day everyone would just be civil: "It's like trying to tell Iran and Israel to get along. Its not gonna happen." … We're not even going to touch that statement.

Aug 26, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 10 Responses
Life Isn't Fair

As if the cast of The Hills wasn't annoying enough, now come reports of the idiots' wages per episode (spoiler alert: they're overpaid).

In a world where Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox are raking in seven-figure salaries for a single movie, it should come as no surprise that LC makes a cool $75,000 per episode ??? totaling over $1.4 million for this season alone. Spencer and Heidi are a close second with $65K per episode; Audrina, $35K; Whitney, $20K; Brody and Lo (!!), $10K. But the real loser in all this is Stephanie Pratt: Not only is she related to Spencer, but she gets the least amount of money at only $8K per episode. Poor thing.

Aug 25, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 49 Responses
The Rest Is Still Unwritten

So in case you haven't heard, tonight is the season four premiere of MTV "reality" hit The Hills. Over the last three seasons it's become fairly obvious that there's rarely anything real about the show except for Spencer and Heidi's douchiness, so we've compiled our five favorite fake moments in the history of The Hills. Feel free to add your own if they didn't make the cut.


Aug 18, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 4 Responses
'Suri Is A Very Mature Name'

• If Tom Cruise allowed Katie Holmes to drink alcohol. [CityRag]

• Most bizarre feud ever: Roseanne vs. Angelina Jolie. [INO]

Tori Spelling reminds us of why plastic surgery isn't always the answer. [Yeeeah]

• When did Lauren Conrad turn into Ashlee Simpson? [PS]

• Malaysia thinks Avril Lavigne is "too sexy." That makes one of us. [ICYDK]

Jennifer Lopez is training for a triathlon, but we have a feeling this will never come to fruition. [DListed]

Aug 18, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 9 Responses
Universes collide when rising stars meet the black hole that is LC's career

LC, the star of the number one show (used in Jihad-training videos on why America is the great devil) The Hills, wants to branch out. She told on E! Online, ???I love Gossip Girl, I just love it. It???s so gossipy and superficial. It???s amazing.??? She want on to mention that she'd like to do a guest-spot, ala Lydia Hearst last season. The problem is Hearst, while not exactly Katherine Hepburn, has never given viewers reason to think that she plausibly can't act, and LC has spent her teenage and early adulthood proving that she is incapable of any emotion besides pouting and having really shiny hair (that's her favorite emotion).


Aug 15, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 4 Responses
Glamour Shots

• We need to print this drunken celebrity collage so we can frame it to hang in the living room. [CityRag]

• The cast of Grey's Anatomy is back to filming. That includes Katherine Heigl, unfortunately. [PS]

• The models who hand out the Emmy Awards will be clothed in Lauren Conrad's line. This has officially gotten out of hand. [INO]

• Two girls kissing has lost its shock value thanks to Madonna and Britney (not to mention drunken college girls), but we give Aubrey O'Day an A for effort. [DListed]

50 Cent got his son back with a minimum amount of drama. [ICYDK]

• The Brangelina Wonder Twins were not conceived via in vitro fertilization. Thank goodness that was cleared up. [Yeeeah]

Aug 5, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 4 Responses
Poor LL Cool J

When Miley Cyrus was chosen to host the Teen Choice Awards, which was filmed last night and will air tonight, we're unsure whether or not the producers expected her to hog the spotlight as much as she obviously did. Judging from the pictures, she treated the entire awards show like one of her infamous YouTube videos, including her BFF Mandy in most of her bits and ruining a perfectly good LL Cool J performance.

In other news, Dwight graced the show with his presence, Mariah continued to use a glitter microphone, Arcuhleta's dad still won't go away — and when did Chace Crawford become so good-looking?

Click through for more pictures than should be allowed.


Aug 4, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 30 Responses
The Shills

Why is Lauren Conrad's new Entertainment Weekly cover so creepy? Could be because it's damn horrifying that people are still talking about these Hills snots. But it probably has more to do with Conrad's eyes – why so deer-in-headlights, you nut? – which don't pair well with the news that her new favorite activity is sitting at home, alone, and crying about the ugly pit her life's become.

Jul 31, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 15 Responses

Two weeks late with the news, OK! reminds us that L.A. boutique Kitson has dropped Lauren Conrad's fashion line from its shelves. Blame poor sales — or the fact that Conrad refused to do in-store appearances to promote her own goods. But the real scandal? That Conrad didn't even design her own wares!


Jul 28, 2008 · posted by Cord Jefferson, MollyGood · Link · 5 Responses
Back To "Reality"

There are a few things we are able to gather from the latest trailer for The Hills' fourth season: First of all, a lot of the drama has been kept under wraps this time around, meaning the cast is getting better at keeping their mouths shut or the public has simply lost interest. Also, the cast seems to expand every season, and we have a feeling it's not because Lauren and Audrina are simply attracting lots of friends. This show has turned into a famewhoring free-for-all. Oh, and Heidi and Spencer still suck.

Jul 22, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 5 Responses
We're More Interested In What The Dogs Have To Say

The always PR-savvy Lauren Conrad offered a swift rebuttal after yesterday's attacks from organizers of a Humane Society fashion show who claimed LC threw a hissy fit and bailed before fulfilling all of her obligations. We would have refused to walk the stupid runway with those poor dogs dressed in human clothes as well, so we really can't judge. Lauren, however, says otherwise ??? and went to MySpace to give her side of the story. She threw in a few grammatical errors for good measure, just in case anyone thought the blog was written by her publicist (we're still not convinced).

Click through for her statement. Spoiler alert: We're guessing she's no longer going to be happy posing for pictures with Wendy Diamond (at left).


Jul 17, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 5 Responses
Insert Female Dog Joke Here

The Humane Society and Animal Fair magazine hosted a "Paws for Style" dog-fashion show last night in NYC, which sounded harmless enough until gossip started to spread about the backstage drama involving — who else? — The Hills' Lauren Conrad. Evidently Lauren, who was flown to NYC first-class by the Humane Society, was scheduled to close the fashion show featuring celebrities and socialites who coordinated matching outfits with either their own dog or a rescue. (The outfits will be sold on eBay for charity.)

Lauren, however, had other plans, which included buckling under pressure on the red carpet with hard-hitting questions such as, "What kind of dog is it?" She later announced that she wasn't aware she was supposed to walk the runway and bailed without fully honoring her commitment. One unhappy organizer said it best: "There's no cats here, so we didn't need any catfights." That's deep.

But let's get down to the real matter at hand, shall we? What did these poor dogs ever do to deserve these stupid outfits and trips down the runway? None of them look amused — in fact, one seems to be saying, "Can I go back to the shelter now?"


Jul 16, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 10 Responses

BUT WHAT ABOUT HEIDIWOOD? "L.A. boutique Kitson just dropped Lauren Conrad's line. How surprising, right? 'Sales were lackluster,' Kitson owner Fraser Ross told us. 'Initially it was great.' Ross tried to get Conrad to do a personal appearance in the store but said her people couldn't figure out a date."

Jul 16, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 4 Responses
You Can Too!

Vitaminwater got in on the MLB All-Star Week parties last night and felt the best way to promote the brand was by inviting the classiest of celebrities, which included Aubrey O'Day and the Naked Cowboy. The event also attracted some leftover guests from the Batman premiere who just wanted to be photographed. If that's not getting more people to drink the beverage, we don't know what will.


Jul 15, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 8 Responses

Last night a dreary and overcast New York City was treated to the premiere of The Dark Knight, which featured a black carpet. The stars of the movie and all the D-listers in attendance followed suit by dressing in the somber hue, except for a select few (Regis, we're looking at you).

Lots of pictures after the jump.


Jul 15, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 11 Responses
For $1600...

Can someone introduce us to a Jeopardy contestant who actually watches The Hills?

Jul 11, 2008 · posted by Whitney · Link · 11 Responses